Thinking Out Loud: ...of the Zodiac!

Whilst watching the Adam West Batman series again, a thought occurred to me; where is James Gordon Junior in this timeline? The obvious, and actual, answer is that he didn't exist until the 1990s, so nowhere really. But what if he did? The Batman '66 comics expanded the range of characters to include another iconic '90s foe, Bane, so why not take a look at James Jr and see where he would fit in? For those not so steeped in Batman lore as myself, James Gordon Jr, firstborn son of Commissioner Gordon and his first wife, is a serial killer whose activities are kept under wraps by his father and is the case that haunts him the most. It's a very grim story, piling upon the misery that defines Jim Gordon's life, and honestly, the character isn't all that interesting most of the time, just another murderer knocking around Gotham from time to time, when an author is temporarily over Joker and the other Arkham crew. However, the idea that there was a version in the '66 universe and how that would impact the setting, just wouldn't leave my mind.

A small part in Season 1 of Batman that many would be forgiven for missing is Gordon mentioning that Batman and Robin have been active for a few months. Not years, months. Also, despite many jokes about how incompetent Gordon and O'Hara are made to look in the series, they're actually great at their jobs, Gotham has the lowest crime rate in the USA in this version, but the criminal mastermind types like Joker, Riddler and King Tut leave them baffled and that's where Batman and Robin come in. This version of Batman doesn't chase muggers or break up gangs, he doesn't need to, the police do that. So if Jim Gordon is such a good cop in '66, what keeps him from tackling the more esoteric cases? What if the reason is that he did once chase a colourful villain? A murderer in a costume with a gimmick that turned out to be none other than his own son? When Gordon discovered this, his instincts as a father took over and he sent his boy away, rather than to the electric chair. Gordon has PTSD and just can no longer bring himself to do the major crimes, thank god for the Caped Crusader.

Of course, Gordon is still a smart man, he'd make sure his son was as far away as possible, on the opposite side of the country, the West Coast. Ok, enough preamble; in the '66 universe, James Gordon Jr is the Zodiac Killer. He's from Gotham, so the costume, riddles and persona would appeal, even just as a way to keep digging at his father from across the country, and he was never caught because he had the police looking out for him and keeping stuff under wraps. Does Batman know? Perhaps? Was it a string of Astrology-themed murders in Gotham that finally encouraged Bruce Wayne to don the cape and start fighting crime? Letting two costumed vigilantes with unknown identities fight crime in your city is a big damn departure from police procedure, let alone deputising them, was Gordon perhaps motivated out of fear that The Minstrel or Mad Hatter would become another killer and the cycle would repeat? I'm not normally one for adding 'darker' elements where they're not needed, but this was a fun idea, so I wanted to share it.

Superhero Media: Dirty Laundry

Knowing that I still had a season of The Punisher on Netflix to get through, I decided to save Dirty Laundry for last on my little Punisher re-watch. Dirty Laundry is a short film, around ten minutes, starring and directed by Thomas Jane; yes, really. When it became clear that Jane wouldn't get to don the iconic skull-shirt again, he decided to make his own follow-up, so much did he enjoy playing the character. If you want to watch Dirty Laundry, and you really should watch it, it's great, it can be found on YouTube, though there are a few different versions and qualities going around, so be careful. There is one really low quality version that's too easy to find with a looping 30-seconds of The Dark Knight soundtrack that really grates. As, essentially, a fan-film, Dirty Laundry is a little cheap-looking and neither the special effects nor actors are always the best, but Thomas Jane and, of all people, Ron Perlman, are there to carry the narrative through.

As the name suggests, the framing of Dirty Laundry is Frank Castle needing to wash some clothes, stopping at a local launderette and getting caught up in gang violence. It's a little iffy that the local gang are all African-American and the heroic characters, Frank and the shop owner, are White, but given the team from whom this story comes (Bootleg Media), I feel that any racist messaging isn't deliberate, though you may vary on that one. Although Frank clearly wants to keep a low-profile and just do his washing, a local gang hassling sex workers and beating and robbing a child eventually force him into action, which he does, not with guns as is typical, but with a bottle of Jack Daniel's and his combat boots. Although brief, the fight is brutal and more intense than most scenes in the Netflix series, making great use of the slow build and just exploding in the climax. It's really well-directed and well worth checking out for how to do a build-up properly, rather than just having Frank sit around making soup.

Yes, I'm very much of the opinion that Thomas Jane should have gotten another shot at playing Frank Castle, and that it's not too late for the MCU to bring him back as an older, The Punisher MAX style version of the character. It's not just that the film Jane was in is one of the best versions of the character, or that he is a big fan of the character and puts his all into his performance, but because he's a fucking good actor who has never got his due. A big Disney/MCU paycheck and a series of films based on the Garth Ennis comics could really cement Jane as a great in the way he deserves, but never seems to get. The MCU has become a great vehicle for actors, directors and just about everyone in the film-making process to get out into the public consciousness and get to deliver on their own passion projects. As much as the homogenisation of popular media under Disney is not a good thing, that it helped launch the careers of Ryan Coogler, Taika Watiki and Tom Holland to new heights is a great boon to the medium.

Thinking Out Loud: Light Claws

I was watching Violent Night, which I probably won't review here because it kind of barely scrapes the edge of relevance, even by my broad standards for "Superhero Media", and a thought occurred. Is Father Christmas a reasonable idea for a super hero? There's a few times that this idea has been explored, from a terrible episode of Doctor Who, one of The Venture Bros. Christmas specials and, my personal favourite, "Maul Santa" from webcomic Edison Rex. It makes sense in an odd way, as the modern version of Father Christmas is a Capitalist rebranding of Odin by way of Christian Terrorist St Nicholas. Odin himself appears in a lot of comics and superhero settings, so it's not a stretch by any means, though the comparative mythology is a little more complex between Odin and Father Christmas that a quick Google would indicate. Add to that the past 100+ years of popular culture and the very Americanised "Santa Claus" and perhaps that jolly old elf isn't terribly suited for the cape and tights sets after all.

Before we go too much further on, Edison Rex is a fun read if you've never bothered, but the character that embedded itself best in my memory is certainly Maul Santa, essentially a Christmas-themed Green Goblin riff, complete a holly wreath hoverboard and bauble bombs. I love this idea and have been searching for the perfect miniature for a couple of years now. If you have a lead, please let me know in the comments. Anywho, most interpretations of the character demonstrate some level of power[s] that could be called superhuman, or at least super, to some degree. Notably even St Nicholas, being a Saint and all, could do some fun stuff, when he wasn't beating the living shit out of people for failing to convert. In a superhero setting, where gods, science gone wrong and mythology live side-by-side, some version of Father Christmas isn't too far-fetched in the grand scheme of things.

Should a character like this be a hero, though? It kind of worked in Legend of the Guardians, if you remember that, and Violent Night works with the Father Christmas character having some minor powers but mostly just being an immortal Viking with some hammer skills. For my own time and money, I doubt I'll be exploring this idea beyond making a Maul Santa at some stage, as it's a little too twee for me and I don't celebrate Christmas at all. However, if someone ran with this concept, and did a decent job of it, I could see myself enjoying it, or at least appreciating the effort. Hell, my Equalisers setting has an entire super team based on a sing Beastie Boys music video, complete with miniatures and stats for SuperSystem, so who am I to judge? If Father Christmas is destined to grace a gaming table near me, I won't be too bothered, not matter if they're wielding bauble bombs, magic powers or just a big, bloody hammer.

Superhero Media: Brightburn

Did you know that Brightburn is a backdoor sequel to Super? Because I didn't until I watched it and Michael Rooker turned up as an Alex Jones-esque talking head ranting about the coming of the superheroes. Anyway, if you know anything about Brightburn, it's probably that the film is a "dark" take on the Superman story, with an alien child growing up in the American farm belt and going rogue rather than becoming a hero. And whilst all that is true, what tends to get lost is just how good Brightburn is. As I've discussed before, "evil Superman" is a pretty tired riff, but the team behind this film didn't make the typical mistakes of being obvious or overly fetishistic with the concept, it really is just played straight most of the time, which works really well. Brightburn isn't about how "powerful" Brandon Briars is, or who he can kill in a fight, it's about the horror of ordinary people encountering a force of nature in the shape of an adolescent boy.

Years ago, I wrote an article on this blog entitled "The View From The Trenches", which is still one of my favourite pieces I've done (and barely anyone read, but whatever), and it focused on the idea that a human caught up in a superhero battle must be overwhelmed, if not terrified by the goings-on around them, and lamented how few sources dealt with this concept. Brightburn uses simple film techniques and surprisingly basic special effects to evoke a superhuman on a rampage pretty much better than anything else I've ever seen. In fact, the scenes of Brandon hunting people down are so good, I'd like to see versions of them with the blood and gore cut down to a PG level, because I think that may be even better. Watching the sheriff just vanish in a gust of wind the instant Brandon turns in his direction is phenomenal, and really needs to be repeated in something like the MCU or a Superman film, just without the resulting trail of gore. Not that I'm saying a superhero film can't be violent or bloody, just that it doesn't really need to be to tell the story well.

I'm not saying that I really "need" more of this cinematic universe in my life, but I certainly would be interested in seeing where it all goes if James Gunn and co do decide to do more. Although I feel the "dark heroes" thing is a more than a little overdone, there is room for it if done well, like some of the InJustice narrative, or even Nightstalkers, and the take that they may be newer style horror movie monsters is actually pretty neat. Despite his super powers, Brandon is essentially a "slasher" in the vein of Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees, so throw in a creepy doll, Slenderman and maybe a sexy monstress and you have yourself a decent team right there without too much extra fussing about. Not that I'm looking to build such a team myself, I really have enough already, but if slasher horror is the kick you need to get going on superhero miniatures gaming, who am I to stop you from doing that?

Thinking Out Loud: Gotham Nights

No matter how many ritual sacrifices I make to the dark gods, it seems that the grimmest and darkest versions of Batman will be the only ones to find their way into the cinema for the foreseeable future. And whilst I don't want a return to the "Full Adam West", as it were, I do think that there are a lot of stories to tell with a less intense version of the character. Speaking of Adam West though, if takes on Batman like the "Reeves-verse" are going to remain the flavour of the moment for the foreseeable future, then it turns out that the 1966 series has a lot to offer. Look, I enjoy the classic Batman villains as much as anyone, but with all the films that we've had, the spread of antagonists is pretty slim. Sure, if we're staying "grounded", then characters like Killer Croc and Clayface aren't going to work as well as Riddler and Joker, but there's more than just those options out there. If grounded is what you want, then baby, Adam West has got your back. So here is a quick look at five '66 villains that could be adapted to a grimdark new Batman film and save us from yet another take on Joker. Seriously, let the character be done already.

Bookworm

Though this character is probably a little too close to Riddler at the end of the day, a frustrated writer who expresses his rage though book-themed crimes is a perfect fit for a more detective style Dark Knight. Cryptic clues dripping in literary references, meta-critisicm and getting really mad when he mangles quotes, just turn this guy up to eleven and let him loose in Gotham for a good time. The reading lamp on the head could become a couple of pen lights like he's in Orbital (ask your dad) and give him plenty of creepy scenes wandering around a dark library and the rest almost writes itself. Hell, ask a room of writers to write about writing and this could be pretty epic.


False Face

The real threat being "in the shadows" is a common thread with 'darker' Batman stories, be it Riddler using TikToc to incite a mob or Joker having to be tracked by sonar phones, Batman can't just walk up and punch the problem without some legwork. Whilst False Face has actually had some life since the Silver Age, this master of disguise is perfect for a retooling for the modern day. Add some pathos about him hating his real face because his abusive parents scarred it and False Face is dark enough to be causing Batman trouble again, driving him back into isolation, because who can he trust when the enemy could be anyone?


Chandell (Liberace)

If you watch any Batman, make sure it's the two-parter with Chandell, a famous concert pianist turned criminal trying to get his hands on the Wayne fortune. At the very least, you get to see Liberace play piano for a bit and that's always awesome. Now, I'm not saying that Chandell is a good fit for a darker Batman, but think about the concept of the conflict; Batman versus celebrity. Batman doesn't rely on being liked, so if he came in direct conflict with a popular entertainer, his negative public image would work against him and the tacit support of the law-abiding citizens of Gotham wold no longer be there. Get an actor who also can sing and play an instrument and the film kind of comes together pretty easily. No super powers, just a devious criminal who can play sweet licks.


King Tut

King Tut is a great villain and he needs to come back in a big way at some point, so why not in a major film? A Harvard Professor of Egyptology who comes to believe he is a reincarnated Pharaoh when he suffers head trauma and that Gotham is his new homeland, gifted by the gods. This one should play a little like a Black Mask or Two-Face story, with Tut as essentially the head gangster, but with plenty of Ancient Egyptian themes and styling, because for all his madness, Tut is deviously clever and an excellent criminal mind. Plus you can reuse the ending from the '66 series, with Tut regaining his sanity and Batman unable to get the catharsis of defeating the bad guy and having to live with his desire for revenge left unsatisfied. 


Marsha, Queen of Diamonds

Ok, so what if Batman had to fight a member of his own class for a change? Marsha is a beautiful socialite who manipulates men into buying or stealing diamonds for her, leaving them to be caught up by the legal consequences while she flees. As it is, the character is a little shallow and mildly sexist, but there is plenty of potential there for an interesting antagonist with a little bit of work. This could be a story where Bruce is dealing with the enemy as much as Batman, because they move in the same circles and she is probably after him in one respect or another. Bruce will need to let her get close enough to catch her, but not so close she discovers his secret or, even worse, he develops feelings for her. Also, this is a villain Batman can't punch and whose crimes, taking money from obscenely wealthy men, is pretty mild in the grand scheme of things; it's clever in a way Batman aspires to be.

Superhero Media: Godzilla Vs Mothra - The Battle for Earth

It must be surprisingly difficult to write a good Godzilla film, especially in the post-blockbuster age of cinema, where there is a need to both draw in new viewers and keep the existing fans. Because the menagerie of monsters that make up the Godzilla often originated in separate films and were brought across later, the tone can really be "off" depending on which Kaiju are present. Probably the most problematic is Mothra, who spun out of her own, more child-friendly, series, but is now far more associated with the broader Godzilla franchise, and is pretty much a "must-include" every few films. In order to counteract the more fairy tale elements of Mothra, The Battle for Earth doesn't obfuscate them like King of the Monsters, but rather ratchets them up to the mythic level, more in the vein of Gamera - Defender of the Universe. To this end, whilst the Fairies and mystical elements of Mothra are retained, the introduction of Battra as a "dark mirror" to Mothra and the tones of environmental apocalypse do steer away from the childish reads done both before and after.

I'm not sure that I've really covered a "Godzilla gets dragged into someone else's shitfight" Godzilla film before, but The Battle for Earth sees the king of the monsters on the sidelines for huge sections, as the battle is really between Mothra and Battra right up until the end. This means that there is less rubber suit work and more puppets than a typical Godzilla film, which I enjoy, but can look even sillier in some ways, especially with how slow Mothra's wings flap in the fight scenes. There is something of a wonder to how good the scale model work can be on these films and how poor the rubber suits and puppets can look in comparison, but remember, that's just kind of how the genre works and the action needs to be compelling enough to get the audience past the juxtaposition. I'll admit I struggled a little with The Battle for Earth right up until Mothra and Battra teamed up and suddenly Godzilla was fighting against two airborne foes, something I hadn't really seen before.

The environmental message in The Battle for Earth is pretty weak by contemporary standards, basically being about not polluting and saving rain-forests, but isn't it kind of shocking that no one seemed to take these on board? I mean, scientists have been warning people about human-driven climate change since at least the 1970s, but we kept doing the same dumb shit? Weird. Maybe we do need a giant magical moth and her two fairy friends to tell us to stop being dumb and wrecking the only planet we have. Another interesting note, The Battle for Earth starts out with something of a Raiders of the Lost Ark tribute sequence set in the Philippines; the Philippines, of course, often being the go-to "mystical and/or mysterious ruins" location in Japanese cinema. There's also some small shots at Japanese corporate culture, but nothing on the scale of Final Wars or Shin Godzilla. There's very little "wrong" with The Battle for Earth, but it is also far from the strongest Godzilla outing of its era.

The Silzer Project - Part V

And here were are at the end of this mess. I honestly almost deleted the previous entries rather than write this one out, out of a combination of internal cringe over something I wrote in my teens and just not wanting to type this out. But, doing this was intended to be an exercise in getting this all down in one place and putting the ideas to bed for now. Whilst I cannot currently see a way I can realise the Slizer story, having it out there means I may get some feedback, suggestions or even just have the chance to think more myself when I finally go to hit "Publish" and get the eureka moment I've been looking for. Also though, this sprawling story was something I made up in my head playing with Lego growing up, and whilst it's not good and not something I'd really want to properly published, I'm not so down on it that I can't see the good ideas I had and maybe file them away in my mind for future use.

Slizer - Finale

With a new war looming on the horizon, the powers that back the Slizer Team begin to fracture, and a mad scrabble for the control of the Slizers begins. Most of the alien members of the team just bugger off with their Slizers, the rival to Calvin (he had a name with lots of contestants which I don't remember) takes the Ice Slizer and uses it to front a military coup and take over his native government. Now in control, he withdraws from the Slizer alliance and starts reinforcing the border, though states that there will be no aggressive action from their military. Meanwhile, another alien empire is starting to arm themselves with large war machines intended to fight the Slizers. Seeing the writing on the wall, the more insect-like alien race takes full control of the Slizers, though the human pilots and some soldiers loyal to them maintain their own small area of the compound. The insect aliens only have control of three Slizers, Millennium, Blaster and Flare, and the pilot of the Blaster Slizer, Butterfly (the insect aliens take on names of familiar bugs and get surgically modified to be more humanoid when working with other races) is reluctant to push back against the human pilots too hard.

As the insect-like aliens want better control of the Slizers than they have, they build several more and give them to their own pilots. The introduction of the Speed, Justice, Space, Shock, Time and Stealth Slizers swings the war back into the favour of the Slizer Force, at least until the rebel leader finally emerges. It turns out that Calvin has been alive all this time, kind of. You see, the Slizers were always more alive than anyone let on, requiring a symbiotic bonding with a pilot, of which only Calvin met the requirements so far. Now being neither Calvin nor the Jungle Slizer, our hero is leading the revolt of, basically, the working classes of the Century against the Slizer Force and, by extension, both of the alien races that had been backing it. In an classic "the enemy of my enemy" situation, the newer alien empire and Calvin's forces cooperate to keep the traditional power structure on their back-foot. The rebellion are making slow progress until Butterfly and the remaining human Slizer pilots defect over to their side and Calvin makes the choice to focus on the alien race now led by his former rival. This means that the two opposing forces of Slizers are fighting opponents without them and the war progresses in their favour quickly.

As clearly I was watching Anime by this point, the wars get settled by big fights between individuals, usually involving swords and/or mechs. Calvin and his rival have a big duel as the rebellion lay siege to the alien planet, that Calvin wins because he's superhuman at this point. Butterfly and Calvin have started a relationship during this time, with Butterfly steadily modifying herself to be more "human" during this time as Calvin becomes less human the longer he's bonded with the Jungle Slizer. The new alien power finally breaks against the insect aliens and the remnants of the Slizer force and the Century is now a stand off between two groups armed with super weapons. Peace negotiations start, with the main thrust being that time travel must be banned and the Slizers must be destroyed. As Calvin and the pilot of the Millennium Slizer are both part of their Slizers (the latter through deliberate cyborg modification), they decide to settle it in a big one-on-one fight, which Calvin wins, though the Slizer part of him is badly damaged and goes dormant. In order to maintain the peace, Calvin agrees to go into exile in case the Slizer emerges again, Butterfly goes with him and the remaining human heroes travel back in time one last time to ensure that they are locked in a predestination paradox to carry out all these events.

So there we go, that's the story. I'd say something clever, but honestly, I'm pretty over this and glad to be done. See you next time.