Drokk the Law!! - Part XV

Staring down a handful of weeks until my next gaming session with Andy, I have finally managed to finish another one of my "starter" gangs for Judge Dredd. This time, my Street Gang, The Miameg Dolphins.

Excuse the in-progess Necromunda tile, I'm preparing for several campaigns and tournaments at the same time. The majority of the models are converted Blood Bowl plastics, with various Necromunda and other bits, the little Juve at the back is Stargrave and Wargames Atlantic parts. Gangs in JDMG can purchase "Sports Armour", basically gridiron gear, as one of the better options and when I remembered I had some Blood Bowl models lying around gathering dust, it seemed like a fun project. I will be adding more models to this gang once I finish up another couple of things for other teams first.

Superhero Media: Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer

Ok, so this one took so long because my DVD copy of Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer was corrupted and I wanted to finish up some other stuff on Disney+ before I forced myself through this again. Much like the previous film, Rise of the Silver Surfer has an excellent cast, now expanded with Doug Jones, Laurence Fishburne and Andre Braugher, but fails to do anything interesting with the embarrassment of riches available. Unlike the later, and much worse, Fant4stic, the crew of Rise of the Silver Surfer seem to have at least read some FF comics, as elements like the Fantasticar are present, as well as lines lifted directly from classic and newer comics. I don't believe that the cast and crew didn't care about the material, or not want to make a good film, I just think it fell apart with a few poor choices, and no, not just making Galactus a cloud for some reason. 

Actually, Galactus being a cloud is not my major bugbear with Rise of the Silver Surfer; I'll admit that it's dumb, but I can see how a studio ended up there by not wanting to have the giant purple guy on-screen. My take has always been that the cloud is just hiding Galactus' ship, and we get a glimpse in the climax, rather than the cloud actually being Galactus, but that's me. Doom is back, and up to his tricks in attempting to steal the power of the Silver Surfer, one of his more memorable Silver Age jaunts, but most of the story is sidelined for Reed and Sue having wedding jitters, because that's less expensive to film. If the adaptation of Fantastic Four was a television series rather than a motion picture, this approach to the family drama would actually be pretty good, especially with the smaller moments like Ben and Johnny talking about how they want to ride out the end of the world, but here it just reads as padding for the most part. 

All in, Rise of the Silver Surfer was a fun watch, in the same way the Ang Lee Hulk is fun; it's not the best, but there's enough there for me to enjoy that I don't feel my time has been wasted. Sometimes a crummy but fun film is just what you want for a slow afternoon, and, for all its flaws, Rise of the Silver Surfer is at least competently acted and reasonably funny. Doctor Doom may be a pale imitation of the real thing, but he still does Doom things and chews the scenery like a pro. Until we get the Marvel Cinematic Universe version of the Fantastic Four, this is likely to be the second best live action film featuring the characters, so my advice is to enjoy it for what it is, rather than waste time pointlessly wishing it was something else. Hell, pop this in halfway through your latest Brooklyn 99 re-watch for a bit of a laugh if that's what it takes. And maybe just bite on a belt or something when the Galactus cloud is on the screen?

Ultimate Alliance China: Part VI

One of the workshops in the Engineering department had been hastily converted by the student protestors into something of an iron monger's; building barricades, shields and other weapons intended to fend off police incursions. A bench was quickly cleared and a sextet of students dragged the damaged and soiled body of Inframan off the floor and pulled a spotlight over the workspace. Almost immediately, an argument started in both English and Cantonese over how to approach the, seemingly-impossible, task of repairing a bionic superhero built in the 1970s. The tools at hand in the workshop were reasonable, especially given the many student hands they had passed through over the years, but none were of a Super Science Team quality, even going back forty years. Vice-grips and pliers removed wedged bullets and knife-tips while ratchet-straps from someone's car kept Inframan from thrashing too badly, but it took an enterprising handyman with a grinder and an old screwdriver to finally make a tool that could unfasten the chest-plate.

The insides of Inframan were shockingly sleek and chrome, even with the years of storage and the recent battle. A collection of esoteric pumps, pistons, tubes and circuits kept the robotic and human elements of Inframan running and in sync. A few probings and measurements were made gingerly, no one wanting to risk damaging the apparatus, but each feeling that doing nothing may actually be worse. A medical student produced a stethoscope and confirmed something reminiscent of a heartbeat, though what that meant remained a mystery to everyone present.

The bustle and jabber of the room fell silent with the entry of Cassandra Cain, a Criminology/Psychology student whose fierce intellect and general intensity gave her a palpable aura of "don't fuck with me". In a personally unique combination of English, Mandarin and at least two forms of sign language, Cain cleared the room in seconds. Flipping open a custom-built communication device a few years ahead of consumer electronics, Cain made contact with Oracle, another former holder of the Batgirl mantle, and technical advisor for the Justice League as well as what Nightwing jokingly called the "Bat-Family", of which she was a part. Typically Oracle was represented on-screen by a cryptic symbol, but as she and Cassandra had become close friends during the "No Man's Land" debacle, so she could see Barbara's bespectacled face. She signed "I'm in." in American Sign Language at the screen and awaited instruction.

Oracle quickly ran Cain through the process of connecting her device to Inframan's archaic Coaxial Network port, which required some quick soldering with whatever in the USB family Cassie could find lying around and a small amount of swearing. The data stream was patchy, but enough that Oracle could pull out the pertinent bytes and get them running on her hyper-advanced system. For all the leaps and bounds which computing had taken since Inframan was constructed, the process of converting from archaic programming languages intended for Mandarin speakers into something that could run now in something appropriating English (though both Oracle and Cassandra spoke multiple languages) took time. So that precious moments weren't wasted, Cassandra finished up the work of removing foreign objects and any obvious damage she could with the available tools.

Oracle grumbled something about data corruption and magnetic tape, Cassandra suppressing a smile; Barbara wouldn't bat an eyelid facing a horde or armed bikers, but mess with her system and the griping would never stop. The code-name Oracle was not factitious however, and soon a facsimile of Inframan's personality was running on a virtual clone of the famous Bat-Computer like any other program.

"Where am I?" even through the synthesizer, the voice was clearly of a scared and confused man, "I can't see."

"You're in an engineering lab in Hong Kong," Cassie didn't have the most soothing voice, having not learned to talk until nearly an adult, "what is the last thing you remember Officer Hayama?"

The cyborg did his best to look around with his limited movement, shaking violently as ancient servos ground together. Instinctively, Cassie put Inframan's hand in her own and squeezed, taking a moment to recall that the appendage was entirely metal and plastic.

"I had just helped the police halt a riot in Hong Kong," Hayama ceased trying to turn his head, "I needed repairs, so they put me under, it was 1992."

"It's 2018," Cassie had been raised to favour directness, time spent with other Bat-heroes had not softened this edge, "you have been warehoused for decades because there was not the funding to repair you."

Two sounds filled the space, one was the low electronic buzzing that Cassie had come to associate with Oracle exhaling through her nostrils in lieu of sighing, and a kind of popping like old mobile phone signals interfering with a speaker. In a moment of clarity, she realised that Inframan was sobbing as best as his vocal synthesizer allowed.

"Officer Hayama," Oracle's voice cut into the reverie, "do you recall the man you fought tonight? The reason you were damaged and why you were brought here?"

With the sound of a physical drive starting up, Inframan's eyes began to flicker like an antique pinball machine and his body became rigidly still. Cassie's laptop screen opened a new window that Oracle sent, showing the fight between Inframan and the Masked Warrior from a first-person perspective. An analysis of the Masked Warrior's movements began and soon his Bat-Computer file was scrolling next to the playing footage. Cassie noticed that even Batman hadn't confirmed his identity, having instead a list of around four suspects of varying likelihood.

"Masked Warrior, vigilante, Shanghai based, likely legacy title," Inframan recited the information as he received it, "typically battles organised crime, why was he fighting me?"

"A lot has changed since you were last awake," Cassie's directness was occasionally a boon, "Hong Kong is Chinese territory again and the People's Army is attempting to occupy the city. The people of Hong Kong are resisting, but have no international support and the elections are rigged. They need a champion again."

A series of drive noises and flashing lights accompanied a very robotic twitching as Inframan processed the new data. The screen now showed a rapid series of images of the Hong Kong riots interposed with monster battles and representations of the British occupation. The robotic hands began to flex and Cassie withdrew hers before it was crushed. All a sudden, the lights and movement stopped.

"Fix me," Inframan demanded, "I need to defend my city."

Superhero Media: Kings Watch

Ever wonder what a potential, big-budget, Hollywood Defenders of the Earth would look like? Wonder no more, as Dynamite Comics has given us Kings Watch, a thoroughly modern take on a Flash Gordon/Mandrake/Phantom team up that is... pretty good, I guess? Look, the problem with comparing smaller comic production houses like Dynamite to the "big boys" of Marvel and DC is that they don't have the same deep pockets and pools of artists and writers to work with, so rarely deliver work of the same level. For example, whilst Kings Watch has a great plot and decent art, the character dialogue is patchy and the art doesn't always match what the characters are saying. The first time I read the trade, the flaws didn't bother me that much, but each time I go back to it, they're a little more pronounced and spoil my enjoyment that touch more. Ok, so maybe I shouldn't have read Kings Watch right after Invincible, but my point still stands. 

Flash Gordon, Hans Zarkhov, Dale Arden, The Phantom and Lothar are separately investigating strange occurrences across the world when fate brings them together to combat Cobra, a doomsday cult intent on summoning the great god Ming from the nether-realm of Mongo using an ancient device known as the Kings Watch. Even with the help of, possibly immortal, master wizard Mandrake, these impromptu "Defenders of the Earth" are unable to prevent the opening of the portal and the Armies of Mongo invade the world. A war erupts across the face of the planet, with Mandrake, The Phantom and Flash Gordon leading the charge. After some success battling the invaders, our heroes learn that this is only the beginning and that they must go to Mongo and confront Ming themselves. Kings Watch is pretty decent, despite the flaws that hurt the readability, there's some odd plot twists towards the end that I won't spoil, but the real sticking point for me is how this just kind of reads like a script for a film. 

Yes, I admit, I'd nerd-out pretty hard for a big-budget Hollywood Defenders of the Earth film, and I spent way too much time and effort on this blog discussing that very idea in the past, but this kind of "soft-pitch" comic, as a phenomenon, is starting to get on my nerves. Elements like the presentation of The Phantom, Mandrake being played like Doctor Strange and the "epic destiny" of the characters comes across as someone who knows about the characters, but not what makes them beloved, so has fit them to popular film archetypes instead. The adventures of Jungle Batman, Doctor Strange and Batman but just the rich guy part is not what I want from this franchise, I want Mandrake's "Fast Hypnotism", The Phantom calling on the power of ten tigers and Flash Gordon killing bad guys with a spaceship to the heart. Kings Watch is still a good read and worth it for those interested in the characters, but I wonder if it's a sign of things to come for this franchise.

Danton - Part VI

At last! The final installment of this nonsense! I promise that I won't be revisiting any of my ideas from high school again soon, even the "good" ones that still exist in my broader Equalisers setting somewhere. Honestly, I only really wanted to preserve this for some kind of posterity and this blog is just obscure enough to suit my purposes there. So here we go, Danton, for the last time anywhere.

Danton - Lord of the Ring

After establishing democracy in France, Doctor Strange has retired and Schama has retreated to his empire in Russia. One day, Zorro comes to Doctor Strange and presents him with the One Ring. Doctor Strange realises what it is and collects a group of warriors to take it to Mount Vesuvius and destroy it. Zorro, Link, Dr Colossus, Mister Staypuff and Dobbie depart from Paris among much fanfare and travel for days before remembering that they could just used the Chronosphere. Returning to Paris, the fellowship find that the Chronosphere compound is occupied by a team of all-star terrorists from Canada known as "The Furious Maple Leaf".


...and that's where it all ends, mid-adventure. I'm not sure when and why I left off, but I have to guess I was either too busy or just got sick of the whole enterprise. In retrospect, it was all pretty stupid and whilst I remember having fun with it, the fact that I never really did anything with it was probably for the best. Hopefully, this has been at least a fun diversion for a few entries and we can get back to our normal nonsense.

Superhero Media: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

I remember seeing a few reviews of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power in which the author seemed to not be sure just how queer the programme was in the early seasons; myself, less than three episodes in, I was like "yep, this is gay alright". For once, I am using "gay" as a prerogative, though not to be at all insulting or dismissive, She-Ra is just super gay and that's part of what makes it amazing. For me there was a moment very early on, possibly even in the first episode (the issue with binging a programme being that individual episodes tend to blend together), where Catra is seen to not actually have her own bunk in the barracks, but habitually sleeps curled up at Adora's feet. I know that's also a visual gag about Catra being a cat, but their whole relationship and how Catra has been shaped by it, is super gay. So yes, She-Ra is just as woke, queer, technicolor and Hopepunk as you've probably heard, all whilst being well written, pretty damn smart and having a great cast. Sure, the last season feels a little rushed, but overall the programme is solid and well worth a watch. 

What I liked most about She-Ra is that it answered a question I'd had in the back of my mind for a few years; how do you do superheroes in a fantasy setting? Most fantasy settings already have beings with more-than-human powers, so is there a need for anything like a costumed hero? I've seen a few attempts in roleplaying games over the years, the Grey Guardian[s] in Pathfinder, a friend's Exalted campaign and even a recurring character in my own early Dungeons & Dragons with something of an Immortus vibe. It works in She-Ra because the titular Princesses have access to greater magical powers than the general populous of Etheria and the Horde primarily relies on technology that is weak to most forms of magic. In contrast, Bow and Entrapta use technology and are (mostly) on the hero team (I could write a whole essay about Entrapta's neurodiversity and her political agnosticism inadvertently enabling fascism), so there is a role for technology, when used harmoniously with nature and the magic native to Etheria. The whole setting is reasonably rich and deep for this kind of programming, and could make for some fun gaming. 

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is pretty amazing, but much like Adventure Time or Big Hero 6 - The Series, the drawbacks come from being a programme for children and tweens. It's great that the world presented has queer, genderqueer and ACE representation, but I suspect in hindsight, that will just become the norm and it won't stand out as much any more. I'm getting a big cult vibe from She-Ra, like I'll be hearing about it for years from a handful of people and my liking, but not loving, the series will cause some friction with die-hard fans. And look, that's fine, my love of Tron is more than enough of a fanboy obsession that I'll forgive it in others, especially when the love is driven by hopepunk inclusive wokeness. I'm not going to be chasing down any miniatures of these characters for my own games, though I would consider Entrapta if I found one, but I would 100% be behind someone dropping models down for SuperSystem or Frostgrave if that's what they wanted to do.

Miniatures Finished: The Harvestmen

This is going to sound more "creepypasta" than this blog tends to be, but I had the idea for these robots once whilst going through my bits box and it just wouldn't leave my head. I actually dreamed about them a couple of times, so I decided to actually put them together. I mean, I dream about a lot of strange things, so this wasn't so bad, more like an idea that I had to get done so it left me alone.

The Harvestmen

From a dark and tormented city known only as The Basilisk, where nightmares are made in fused machinery and flesh, the Harvestmen come crawling, seeing new parts to make more of their number. Bladed fingers test the air, blind masks turn towards hiding places with unerring accuracy as their victims flee in vain.

Primarily made from Games Workshop parts, with the leader built around a Knight Models Scarecrow I had.

I guess I've had techno-horror on the brain for a while and this was the result?

Although these models have already appeared in a Bush Wars game (of all things), they're probably set to appear in my next lot of Multiverse shenanigans and some other supers games where I want more horror-based antagonists.

Superhero Media: Tron Legacy

I remember when I first saw Tron Legacy at the cinema; it was opening day, I went to the first showing and I don't remember more than one other person being in the cinema. It was magic. I have a bit of a soft spot for Tron to begin with, but Tron Legacy was everything I could have asked for. When the Daft Punk soundtrack started up, when the Recogniser landed, when Flynn's Arcade lit up, I was transported. A few days later, I took my then girlfriend to see the film, she hadn't seen Tron and was a few years younger than me, but I thought she would enjoy it. She did not. When I asked around as to who among my friends had seen Tron Legacy and what they thought about it, the response was also pretty negative. Not to be "that guy", but I really think most people don't get Tron Legacy; it's a story of gods and mortals, of faith and religion, of fathers and sons, and, perhaps most of all, about the power of belief in dictatorships. Tron Legacy is a masterwork of Science Fiction, but it seems no one will ever know. 

Years after the disappearance of Flynn, his son, Sam receives a clue to to his possible whereabouts which leads him to an old Tron machine at Flynn's Arcade. Before you can say "iconic sequence", Sam is sucked into The Grid and is soon fighting for his life in a nightmare dystopia ruled over by Clu, the dark, digital reflection of Flynn. The Grid is beautiful, in high-contrast gloss colours like a neo-noir fever dream, with sleek edges and hard lines to evoke the look of the original Tron whilst still remaining something entirely new; visually, Tron Legacy is a feast, better even that Avatar in my opinion. Then there's the overarching narrative, whilst Sam isn't all that interesting in of himself, the ongoing conflict between Flynn and Clu holds deep meaning. The most obvious comparison would be Paradise Lost, with Clu in the Lucifer role, but it is Flynn who is cast into the wilderness and the Isos are spawned from nowhere, so the text I'd be inclined to consider would be William Blake's The Marriage of Heaven and Hell. Clu is the Urizen aspect of God, measuring out the world and not accepting of chaos and emotion interfering with his good works. 

Flynn, the true creator, retreats from his creation, while his greatest champion, Tron, is slain and resurrected to serve the Antagonist, not dissimilar to Blake's take on the Archangel Michael. Am I saying Tron Legacy is a postmodernist, digitalist take on the works of William Blake? Probably not, especially when the writer's other works are considered in the context, but the reading is there to be made and there's a decent Thesis in it for anyone who cares to try. Oh and the conflict between the spontaneously-generating Isos and the Programs made by Flynn is a whole other thing that we'll have to discuss in the next one of these. Yes, there will be a next one, as I've found one more piece of Tron media, and it explores the Isos better, so watch out for that somewhere down the track. Tron Legacy is amazing, and with any justice and a sliver of hope, it will become a cult classic for future generations. 

Danton - Part V

Ok, second-to-last one of these, but somehow the longest. Still we're almost done with this jaunt into my first youthful foray into multiverse superhero-ish writing. I can't say it hasn't been pretty awkward going over this for me, but at least I've seen the origins of some of my broader concepts and tropes, which is pretty cool for a writer.

Prelude to Bonaparte - A Danton Adventure

A young General, Napoleon Bonaparte, has risen to prominence under Dracula's regime. He is raised to the rank of General after the Schama War, being before the reunification of France a mercenary, continuing to lead his same force independently of Chewbaca in the Zombie Jesus War. During the final battle with Zombie Jesus, Napoleon discovers his ability to fire energy blasts. As a reward for his service in both the Schama and Zombie Jesus campaigns, Chewbaca grants Napoleon stewardship of Brittany.

This position makes Napoleon hunger for power, he stages a coup, killing Chewbaca and taking control of the French Lawyer army, adding it to his mercenary force. Napoleon embarks upon a naval voyage to the Middle East; upon arriving, he leads his army to victory in Jerusalem and takes for himself the Lance of Longinus, thereby becoming nigh-invincible. Upon returning to France, Napoleon discovers that it has been taken over and is ruled by a Decepticon who can transform into a Guillotine. The armies of Napoleon easily conquer France again, but are unable to penetrate the walls of Paris. Napoleon commissions Einstein to build a chronosphere.

After the chronosphere is completed, Napoleon shifts into Paris and confronts Guillotron. The battle between Guillotron and Napoleon carries on for days, much of Paris is leveled between Napoleon's Gallic Gun and Guillotron's Blaster Canon. In desperation, Napoleon uses the chronosphere on Guillotron, while he is stunned, Napoleon uses his Final Flash, which raises almost of that is left standing in Paris and destroys Guillotron. In the wreckage of Guillotron, Napoleon finds the first Dragon Ball...