Superhero Media: Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla II

So here's the thing about Godzilla films of this era I've been covering lately; they're ok. Very few fans tend to consider the 1990s to be a great time for the King of the Monsters, even if the worst offerings tend more towards the dull than the outright terrible. Drawing upon the successes of Mecha Anime and Super Sentai, Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla II pits a team of scientists against Godzilla in their mehca with jet attachment. So yeah, this is one of those Godzilla outings that is human-focused. Godzilla is around, and doing stuff, but the mood is closer to a high-budget Power Rangers series than Shin Godzilla. Or, I'm guessing Super Sentai, but I haven't seen any Sentai, so Power Rangers was my touchstone. There's even a cute monster who helps there heroes, Minilla (or Baby Godzilla, depending on your translation), and the puppetry on the suit, especially the eyes, is fantastic, so whilst the character is silly, it always looks good on-screen.

Rhodan is also in Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla, but he almost seems an after-thought, intended to provide a tenuous link for a Pterodactyl-obsessed engineer to join the team. There's even that whole "international" team element for the Mechagodzilla crew common to Sentai and Power Rangers, though the justification here is that they are provided and trained by the UN's Anti-Godzilla Taskforce. What? Of course the UN has an Anti-Godzilla Taskforce in the Godzilla universe, that's just common sense. And they must be backed pretty well, because Mechagodzilla looks pretty damn expensive, even with the Apple 2Es in the control banks. Sadly, the action scenes of Godzilla fighting Mechagodzilla aren't all that great, even if Mechagodzilla looks awesome, it just can't seem to move very much and ends up being swung around on wires blasting beams of light at everything. Comparing it to Godzilla Vs Kong is unfair, but even the robots in [Japanese] Spiderman have more movement.

Again, I'm not the kind of fan who gets down on Kaiju films that focus on human characters, as Shin Godzilla and Gamera: Revenge of Iris are some of the best in the genre and do that same thing with their characters. The team of scientists aren't super deep or anything, but seeing normal people react to the continued presence of Kaiju in their world is pretty interesting; again, the UN having an anti-Godzilla taskforce is silly, but not within the setting. It tends to be subtext in the Godzilla films, but for the most part, the characters, and thereby Japan as a nation, are accustomed to life with Kaiju, to an extent. The destruction and death related to continued monster attacks are still tragic, but it's not a surprise and people are working to fix the problem as best they can. When you remember that Godzilla is very much a metaphor for the threat and destruction of nuclear power, this lends a credence and depth to the series that isn't obvious with all the rubber suits and atomic breath.

Force S5 - Part III

Welcome back to the secret war for humanity! Today we'll be covering a some of the core concepts of the game and a little more of the secret history of the setting. For those new to the hobby of miniature wargames, some of this will be a little bland, but stick with it and we'll be back to the fun nonsense before the bottom of the page.

Force S5 - Core Game Concepts

Miniatures Agnostic
There are no official miniatures for Force S5, you can use whatever you have to hand or build a team specially from models that take your fancy.

Dice
To play Force S5, you will need a couple of D20 dice sets (ones that include seven different dice for roleplaying games) per player and one extra D6 (six-sided die) for each member of a player's Team, with each player using a different colour of die. You will often need to roll a "D3", which is most easily achieved by rolling a D6 and count a result of 1-2 as "1", 3-4 as "2" and 5-6 as "3".

Measurement
Distances and ranges in Force S5 are made in Inches and denoted like X". Players can measure distances at any time and all distances between models are measured from edge of base to edge of base.

Dice Shifting
The mechanic of "shifting" dice is central to Force S5. For the purposes of the game, the hierarchy of dice is as follows: D3-D4-D6-D8-D10-D12-D20. A die can be shifted up (D4 to D6) and down (D12 to D10), though cannot be shifted higher than a D20. Should a die be shifted down from D3, it counts as 0, which has an important game function to be discussed later.

Activation
Force S5 does not proceed in turns where one player goes, then another, instead, one D6 per member of each Team (make sure to use different colours for each player) is placed inside an opaque bag or container and are pulled to determine play order. At the start of a turn, remove a die at random from the container, the player whose die it is rolls it as a D3, then nominates a model on their Team to take that many Actions (1-3). When the nominated model has completed their Actions, another die is pulled and the process repeated until every model on the table has Activated. Unless otherwise stated, each model may only be Activated once per turn.

Play Area and Terrain
Force S5 is intended to be played on an area no larger than 3'x3', though is best on a 2'x'2, as this speeds play. For longer games, or to include more than two players, try using larger tables. Force S5 also works well on Space Hulk or similar board sections to represent corridors or tunnels.

Success Threshold
When rolling dice in Force S5, players are looking to roll results of four and above (denoted as 4+), regardless of the size of the die. This means that a D4 has less chance of rolling a "Success" than a D20, and means that a D3 can never roll a Success.

Ok, that's enough of that for now, time for some story.

Alright, so when I was telling you that everything kicked off with the Philadelphia Experiment, that wasn't entirely true. Some species we consider to be 'alien' have been here a lot longer than that. The Reptilians for example, have been here actually longer than humans. Whilst we think of the Reptilians (aka Reptoids) as aliens, they're actually from Earth, and they're not Reptiles, they're dinosaurs. Well, they're what some dinosaurs evolved into after moving into underground caverns to survive. Some of the other stuff you may have heard about them is also true, at least in so far as they want to seize control of the surface again, masquerade as humans and enjoying drinking human blood, but that's more details for later. What's important now is that once humans started industrialising, the Reptilians really started messing with us, using manipulation and bribery to have us adopt a system they had devised to eventually have us destroy our civilisation. They called this nonsensical and destructive system "Capitalism" and sadly the plan worked and we adopted it like fools. Due to their long lives, the Reptilians are now watching their plan enter the end stages and are getting more bold about taking direct action.

And the Reptilians aren't the only "Cryptid" that's running around the planet as well. Wood Apes, aka Yeti, Sasquatch, Big Feet etc, are endemic to many heavily forested areas of the planet, keeping themselves hidden with their psychic trickery. Those poor bastards trying to hunt bigfoot for their low-budget documentary? Well they probably met one, had their minds blown, then erased. Why else would they keep going out to get zero evidence? As a species, the Wood Apes aren't truly friendly or hostile, but prefer to be left alone and work their own agendas. They will work with other groups when they feel like it, but you're never going to see a phalanx of armed Yeti marching down the California highway. There are others out there too, from epic threats like Mothman through to the more sinister Shadow People and Black Eyed Kids. What I'm saying is it's dangerous out there, so learn everything you can about these things before you try picking up a weapon and going into the darkness like some righteous avenger...

That's it for now, next time, a little more of both!

Superhero Media: The Southern Squadron

Hold onto your braincells! Here come Australia's own Super-Powered Trouble Shooters, the Southern Squadron! Featuring special forces star Sergeant "Smitty" Smith, the psyhco-kinetic Southern Cross, muscle-bound Melbournian the Night Fighter and the animalistic Dingo. Published in Australia in the late 1980s and early 1990s, The Southern Squadron is something of a local cult fixture, though seems to have never really made its way outside of Australia the way some of our other pop culture has. First off, both The Southern Squadron comics and trades are pretty hard to come by, I only scored mine because a friend was working for a comics store for a little while and found them "out back", as it were. And honestly? They're probably more interesting as an artifact of a time and place in comics than they are high quality examples of the genre. Yes, I really enjoy The Sountern Squadron and am looking for suitable miniatures to represent them, but to say that the series and characters are generally good isn't all that honest.

What The Southern Squadron reminds me of the most, that you may have actually read, is the early Eastman/Laird Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, that was aping Frank Miller Daredevil specifically, and whilst you don't have to have read one to enjoy the other, knowing both improves the experience. The very first Southern Squadron story has them battling the "A-Men", a parody of not just the Claremont X-Men, but of the Iron Age of comics in general; the far more silly Squadron overcoming the team without too much difficulty. Although a lot of the language and ideas in the books can be pretty dated, the term "poofter" still flew in Australia at the time, there are elements of the social undercurrent to be found, be it Southern Cross' preference for curvier women, or Night Fighter's misogynistic "blokeiness" working against him when trying to pick up Kylie. Even Smitty's position as team leader is contrasted by an unnamed (and unlicensed) appearance from none other than Nick Fury, helping track down a werewolf in Tasmania. God, that's a great sentence.

So should you be trying to add The Southern Squadron to your collection? Well... probably not? The art is hit-and-miss, some of the stories are cringe and occasionally it's sexist and homophobic. But if you're an Aussie comic fan who grew up on American publications, even just seeing terms like "crow-eater" and "drongo" on the page is a nice change. I'm not that familiar with Sydney, being a superior Melbournite, but it's great to see more than Uluru and the Sydney Opera House in a comic, given the spread and diversity of locations in Australia. Of course I am currently searching through figure ranges for material to convert and kitbash my own Southern Squadron, and they will be showing up in games just as soon as I can get them done, I do want more Aussie heroes on my table, after all. There are periodic attempts to revive The Southern Squadron, but I'm not so keen on that idea, because Southern Cross, Smitty, Night Fighter and Dingo are so much products of their time, that a new take in the 2020s wouldn't really be the same thing.

Hey BBC! This is my Doctor Who pitch, hit me up, I'm avaliable! (The Pitch)

Longtime readers will know that I am a big fan of Doctor Who, specifically, the classic series and ancillary media like novels, audio dramas and comics. I initially started in 2005 with the new series, but quickly fell off due to the lack of quality in the writing and general production. Despite wonky sets, overacting and some truly dire episodes over the original run, the 1963 to 1989 series was a television juggernaut that dominated a sector of the culture for nearly 30 years and it deserves a respect that I never really felt it got since coming back in 2005. I dip in from time to time (usually with the regeneration), but I've never found anything in the current version of Doctor Who that makes me want to stick around and watch. 

With the recent announcement that the series is "on hiatus" once again, and nothing new in production, the BBC has publicised that Doctor Who is out for tender, meaning that the television series is available to anyone with the money and a good pitch. Well, I don't have the money,  crowdfunding exists, so that might help, but I can throw together a pitch for basically nothing. And whilst my ideal plan involves bringing Robert Holmes and Terrance Dicks back from the dead to run the series for me, I do have a few good ideas that are actually possible, which I can roll into my beer-mat pitch for a broadcast season and hopefully entertain my handful of regular readers. So let's get started with the first episode, shall we? 

We need to start out what is really at least the 3rd iteration of Doctor Who with a bang, so here's a multi-Doctor story to launch us. Which Doctors is the obvious question, well, we'll have a newly-regenerated Billie Piper find herself immediately confronted by Paul MacGann, Richard E Grant (in his Scream of the Shalka incarnation) and Sean Pertwee playing the 3rd Doctor. Look, I know he said he wouldn't do it, but it's one episode, throw some money at him and remind him of his dad's legacy with the series. Our three Doctors reveal that they've finally tracked down the imposter that's been messing with their timeline (Piper) and they're sending her to Shada for her crimes. The rest of the episode is something of a mash-up of Trial of a Time Lord and The Chase as we backtrack through Doctor Who history to see the havoc wrought by the new series on the classic continuity as the entire 2005-2025 run is revealed to be a member of The Faction Paradox trying to destroy the Doctor's work and good name. We also learn that the Grant 9th Doctor has been trapped in a pocket universe (like E Space) whilst this has been going on, only to be rescued by his previous incarnations. 

However, there is a twist! The 9th Doctor, through the adventures he's having, finds that he has actually been in the Matrix the entire time. After defeating Piper, he gets goodbye moments with 8 and 3 (and whoever we could get to cameo in terms of companions) and wakes up on Galifrey, with a new version of Romana to greet him and the Celestial Intervention Agency to provide the last little bit of explanation we need. Now that we've jettisoned the entire 2005-2025 continuity, pissing a lot of people off, but making me happy and getting everyone talking about the series again, the rest of the season won't be dealing too much with anything that happened in the opening story. The Doctor, now played by Grant full-time, is given his leave by the CIA and returns to an empty TARDIS to, once again, adventure in time and space. 

From there, the framework is fairly loose. Like with the New Adventures novels, I'll put out to writers to send in stories that don't have an arc or major continuity revelations, just the Doctor and a Companion, who step out of the TARDIS at the start and step back in at the end. Obviously, we'll have a good Script Editor with a solid vision for the series, but basically anything goes in terms of story. No two stories should be too similar and I want to avoid the Daleks or other iconic villains for the entire first season, but again, I want to stress, pretty much anything is on the table; no bad ideas and all that. We're going back to the idea that the TARDIS can appear anywhere and anywhen and that adventures can be almost anything. A murder mystery, a ghost story, a war, a monster story, the universe is the limit. 

A few other housekeeping things before we sign off. Ideally, I'd like to take Doctor Who back to being half-hour episodes broadcast weekly, with most stories between 4 and 6 episodes in length. I believe that the series works better as a serial, with cliffhangers and time to sketch out ideas, but I'd settle for every story being two-part with the longer episodes. Keeping the cold opens though, I think those help set the mood really well. The idea would be to have Grant do the one season only (unless he's really keen) before regenerating and getting a new actor in. Basically, I want to create a bridge between the classic series and a new one that skips everything 2005-2026 and has as close a 'feel' to the original as possible, and I personally think Grant is the better choice to do that (being more of a "blank space" in terms of continuity) than McGann. I think new fans either don't know, or tend to forget that Doctor Who was the biggest television series in the world for a time in the 1970s, getting a market share that's functionally unbelievable today, just by being solidly-written and competently produced most of the time. I believe it can be again, on the same merits. 

Well that's me done on this unless someone contacts me with money to back me up or a plan to get it. I hope Doctor Who does come back, but I also hope it's better than it really has been most of my lifetime. Until then, I have my books, DVDs, audios and comics to keep me going on one of my favourite fictional universes. 

Superhero Media: Warlock by Jim Starlin

In case you're new around here, I love Marvel Comics' Cosmic elements and characters. Although I do enjoy the newer versions of say, The Guardians of the Galaxy, my real faves are all from the 1970s and almost all written by Jim Starlin. Now, I'm not saying that Starlin was on a lot of drugs or anything, but comics like Warlock really do seem to have been written whilst under the influence of a great deal of drugs. For those who don't know, Adam Warlock was created by a science wizard to be the messiah of Counter-Earth, where he died to save a race of animal-people from Dog-Hitler and was later reborn when Starlin needed a new project. Thankfully, all that Counter-Earth nonsense is background to the story being told in this run, but it's still pretty crazy in the best ways, as classic comics tend to be. So strap yourself in for time travel, space gods, New-Age spiritualism, evil churches and buckets of "WTF". This is Adam Warlock, the best Marvel Comic you've never read.

Ok, maybe that's overselling it, but Warlock is really nothing like almost anything you would have ever read. Almost as dense in philosophy as it is in Space Opera, Warlock is has little to do with the rest of the Marvel universe at first glance, with his foes being the Magus and the Star Thief, one can forget that these comics also mark the first appearance of Gamora and form an important moment for The Avengers, with their second encounter with Thanos. The style of Starlin's writing and art can be jarring for those who have only read newer comics, with huge, sprawling walls of text punctuated with psychedelic artwork and splash-pages worthy of Jack Kirby. As Adam Warlock flies through space, the endless void is a beautiful cascade of stars, planets, nebulae and spacecraft so fanciful, they belong on a Prog Rock album cover. In the cold light of the 21st Century, the philosophy and ethics of Warlock can seem backwards and lacking intersectionality, but a lot of this was pretty out-there stuff to have in a Superhero comic back in the 1970s.

What may actually be one of the most amazing facts about the Warlock series is just how relevant it remains fifty-odd years later. The Infinity Gems, Gamora and Thanos are pretty obvious, but it's shocking how often The Universal Church of Truth, The Magus and even Kray-Tor show up or are at least referenced in current Marvel titles. Starlin remains a controversial figure in comics history, though for my money, usually seemed to be doing what he thought was right in his dealings with Marvel and Image, Warlock is an astounding legacy for any creator to have at a major publisher, and that doesn't even factor in his work on other books, Captain Marvel especially. I've been talking with one of my regular gaming groups lately about getting into some Science Fiction skirmish wargames in our own setting, and I've leapt back into my Jim Starlin to get some inspiration. As much as I love my "Hard" Sci-Fi, there is a part of me that wants some out-there fantasy in my space empire, or whatever I choose to go with. If you want to read something different, but still oddly relevant to the rest of the Marvel Universe, Warlock is hard to beat.

Force S5 - Part II

Welcome back to Force S5 - The Superhuman Soldiers of the Secret Space Service, a fun little narrative exercise based on popular conspiracy theories and related nonsense. This project is going to involve elements such as short-form fiction, roleplaying games and even some table top miniatures. In fact, right here on this blog, Force S5 will become a completely free miniature wargame released in installments that you can play at home along with the story. Think very light, "beer and pretzels" type of play that's more about mashing fun ideas and concepts together and painting whatever miniatures take your fancy than being a perfectly balanced, tournament play experience. We'll get to some actual rules and the broader design ethos, such as it is, next time, but for now let's dive back into the fiction to explain just who is fighting this secret war for the very future of humanity!

You need to understand, this isn't a straightforward war of 'us Vs them' or something like that. There are many broad groups trying to control the destiny of humanity and within each of those there are little rivalries and factions, so who really knows how this shakes out in the field? For now though, consider this a 'primer', a rough guide to what you can expect to see out there, so at least you'll have an idea of who's gunning for you in the black of the night.

The Minutemen (aka The Resistance, Humans for Humanity)
Ordinary humans taking the fight back to the alien overlords! Self-styled truth seekers, defenders of humanity and anti-alien militias, The Minutemen are the last line of defense against the scum of the universe. However, The Minutemen are also home to some of the worst humanity has to offer; their militias are home to racists, the worst conspiracy mongers and plenty of people who wear a solid layer of tinfoil underneath the camouflage caps they never seem to take off.

The New World Order (aka The Eternal Reich, Metatron, The Upload)
Authority has always descended from a central point, that is the ethos of the New World Order, or NWO, for short. Members of the NWO cultivate power, be it political, economic, military or even supernatural. The lust for power makes for strange bedfellows, however, and for every goose-stepping anachronism hiding in an Antarctic secret base, there is a progressive, Silicon Valley post-humanist wanting to save the world by uploading us all to the Matrix.

The Universal Commune (aka the Earth Embassy, the Galactic Alliance) 
The children of the Universal Commune want nothing more than the peaceful ascension of all species to a sate of pure energy and eternal bliss. Weather they want it or not. Although the Commune has a peaceful mission to unite all of creation, do not be fooled into thinking that they're purely a band of hippy peace-nicks, there is many a dangerous psychic warrior or alien hybrid just waiting to unleash their claws hiding in their ranks. 

The Veil (aka Them, The Agency)  
There are worlds beyond our own, and not just in the sky above. Beyond the thin walls of our own reality, there is something else, something darker, and sometimes it leaks through for its own sinister purpose. Some think of these creatures as ghosts, sprites or even demons, but they are the very real inhabitants of another realm, drawn to ours because here there is light and warmth. These creatures could be seeking asylum, or wanting to conquer our universe, but their motives remain their own for now.

Force S5 (aka the Superhuman Soldiers of the Secret Space Service)
Born of reverse-engineered alien technology, the members of Force S5 are gene-smithed in ultra-secret laboratories hidden around the globe to keep the knowledge of their creation hidden. For all the heroics that these future warriors are capable of, there is also a dark side to the operation. Force S5 operates at the beck and call of a shadowy cabal of individuals working their own agenda, and whilst their goals are good for humanity now, when they conflict with the greater good, who can say what could possibly stand against them?

Come back next time when we delve into the secret history of the world a little more and start to introduce the rules!

Superhero Media: Birdman

I first watched Birdman Or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) a few years ago with the intent of reviewing it here, but I found I didn't have much to say, so let it slip by. Sometimes this happens with some of the media I view for the purposes of "Superhero Media" articles; I just end up with nothing much to say so I don't bother. However, after thinking on it and giving Birdman another go, I do have a few things I can talk about. First of all, Birdman is a very well made film with an excellent cast, and it's a joy to watch, so I do recommend it if you're into American independent film or want to give it a go. That said, Birdman has one fatal flaw that really undermines the entire film, essentially rendering the entire point, or one of them at least, meaningless and really robbing it of any residual impact. A big part of Birdman, which flows through the narrative, is the idea that traditional Broadway and theatre in general, is being overrun by Hollywood figures trying to use the legacy of the boards to create a false legitimacy for themselves. You know what? Completely agree. I think it fails to address the whole Andrew Lloyd Weber being simultaneously ubiquitous and shit thing, but a good start.

No, the idea espoused by Birdman is that Superhero cinema is destroying Hollywood the same way Hollywood is destroying Broadway. Ok, so there's a bit to unpack there. Although particular aim is taken at the MCU (Jeremy Renner is singled out because he's also won Oscars?) it's pretty difficult to get away from Keaton's own legacy as Batman; shifted from subtext to text by the "Birdman" framing device. Keaton was an accomplished actor before Batman, though known mostly for comedy, but his career floundered after Batman Returns, only recovering in recent years. This, oddly, was a pretty standard occurrence in the pre-MCU days, with Val Kilmer, Chris O'Donnell and even Famke Janssen kind of dropping off the radar for years after being in middling Superhero efforts. But the whole targeting the MCU thing? Aside from Edward Norton having been in an MCU film (and Keaton would be in the near future), one thing Marvel Studios has always done well is platform creators and talent. Look at Renner, I've seen his two award-winning turns, but how many people have seen The Hurt Locker and The Town compared to anything where he appears as Hawkeye?

I really don't even feel like tackling the whole "are these films valid?" question, as it really feels like a misdirect, and anyone who's still saying that Black Panther, Superman The Movie and The Incredibles have nothing valid to say as films must either be misinformed or outright dishonest. I can see that if one where a struggling filmmaker or actor, the success of the, admitted rather homogeneous, MCU series could well look like corporate moneymaking killing your "art", but as a frustrated novelist myself, I have to live with the knowledge that whatever I publish will end up read by fewer people than whatever Tom Clancy shat out over the weekend. That's the sacrifice talent makes to mediocrity, and it was felt at least as far back as the playwrights of Athens. For all the brilliance and moments of cleverness to be had in Birdman, and there are many, it gets undercut by the sheer pettiness of the premise and how it plays out. Superhero cinema isn't the bad guy, or the end of the industry or whatever panic is happening in the film press this week. Superhero stories are just as valid as any other genre, even if you don't like them yourself.

Thinking Out Loud: ...of the Zodiac!

Whilst watching the Adam West Batman series again, a thought occurred to me; where is James Gordon Junior in this timeline? The obvious, and actual, answer is that he didn't exist until the 1990s, so nowhere really. But what if he did? The Batman '66 comics expanded the range of characters to include another iconic '90s foe, Bane, so why not take a look at James Jr and see where he would fit in? For those not so steeped in Batman lore as myself, James Gordon Jr, firstborn son of Commissioner Gordon and his first wife, is a serial killer whose activities are kept under wraps by his father and is the case that haunts him the most. It's a very grim story, piling upon the misery that defines Jim Gordon's life, and honestly, the character isn't all that interesting most of the time, just another murderer knocking around Gotham from time to time, when an author is temporarily over Joker and the other Arkham crew. However, the idea that there was a version in the '66 universe and how that would impact the setting, just wouldn't leave my mind.

A small part in Season 1 of Batman that many would be forgiven for missing is Gordon mentioning that Batman and Robin have been active for a few months. Not years, months. Also, despite many jokes about how incompetent Gordon and O'Hara are made to look in the series, they're actually great at their jobs, Gotham has the lowest crime rate in the USA in this version, but the criminal mastermind types like Joker, Riddler and King Tut leave them baffled and that's where Batman and Robin come in. This version of Batman doesn't chase muggers or break up gangs, he doesn't need to, the police do that. So if Jim Gordon is such a good cop in '66, what keeps him from tackling the more esoteric cases? What if the reason is that he did once chase a colourful villain? A murderer in a costume with a gimmick that turned out to be none other than his own son? When Gordon discovered this, his instincts as a father took over and he sent his boy away, rather than to the electric chair. Gordon has PTSD and just can no longer bring himself to do the major crimes, thank god for the Caped Crusader.

Of course, Gordon is still a smart man, he'd make sure his son was as far away as possible, on the opposite side of the country, the West Coast. Ok, enough preamble; in the '66 universe, James Gordon Jr is the Zodiac Killer. He's from Gotham, so the costume, riddles and persona would appeal, even just as a way to keep digging at his father from across the country, and he was never caught because he had the police looking out for him and keeping stuff under wraps. Does Batman know? Perhaps? Was it a string of Astrology-themed murders in Gotham that finally encouraged Bruce Wayne to don the cape and start fighting crime? Letting two costumed vigilantes with unknown identities fight crime in your city is a big damn departure from police procedure, let alone deputising them, was Gordon perhaps motivated out of fear that The Minstrel or Mad Hatter would become another killer and the cycle would repeat? I'm not normally one for adding 'darker' elements where they're not needed, but this was a fun idea, so I wanted to share it.

Superhero Media: Dirty Laundry

Knowing that I still had a season of The Punisher on Netflix to get through, I decided to save Dirty Laundry for last on my little Punisher re-watch. Dirty Laundry is a short film, around ten minutes, starring and directed by Thomas Jane; yes, really. When it became clear that Jane wouldn't get to don the iconic skull-shirt again, he decided to make his own follow-up, so much did he enjoy playing the character. If you want to watch Dirty Laundry, and you really should watch it, it's great, it can be found on YouTube, though there are a few different versions and qualities going around, so be careful. There is one really low quality version that's too easy to find with a looping 30-seconds of The Dark Knight soundtrack that really grates. As, essentially, a fan-film, Dirty Laundry is a little cheap-looking and neither the special effects nor actors are always the best, but Thomas Jane and, of all people, Ron Perlman, are there to carry the narrative through.

As the name suggests, the framing of Dirty Laundry is Frank Castle needing to wash some clothes, stopping at a local launderette and getting caught up in gang violence. It's a little iffy that the local gang are all African-American and the heroic characters, Frank and the shop owner, are White, but given the team from whom this story comes (Bootleg Media), I feel that any racist messaging isn't deliberate, though you may vary on that one. Although Frank clearly wants to keep a low-profile and just do his washing, a local gang hassling sex workers and beating and robbing a child eventually force him into action, which he does, not with guns as is typical, but with a bottle of Jack Daniel's and his combat boots. Although brief, the fight is brutal and more intense than most scenes in the Netflix series, making great use of the slow build and just exploding in the climax. It's really well-directed and well worth checking out for how to do a build-up properly, rather than just having Frank sit around making soup.

Yes, I'm very much of the opinion that Thomas Jane should have gotten another shot at playing Frank Castle, and that it's not too late for the MCU to bring him back as an older, The Punisher MAX style version of the character. It's not just that the film Jane was in is one of the best versions of the character, or that he is a big fan of the character and puts his all into his performance, but because he's a fucking good actor who has never got his due. A big Disney/MCU paycheck and a series of films based on the Garth Ennis comics could really cement Jane as a great in the way he deserves, but never seems to get. The MCU has become a great vehicle for actors, directors and just about everyone in the film-making process to get out into the public consciousness and get to deliver on their own passion projects. As much as the homogenisation of popular media under Disney is not a good thing, that it helped launch the careers of Ryan Coogler, Taika Watiki and Tom Holland to new heights is a great boon to the medium.

Thinking Out Loud: Light Claws

I was watching Violent Night, which I probably won't review here because it kind of barely scrapes the edge of relevance, even by my broad standards for "Superhero Media", and a thought occurred. Is Father Christmas a reasonable idea for a super hero? There's a few times that this idea has been explored, from a terrible episode of Doctor Who, one of The Venture Bros. Christmas specials and, my personal favourite, "Maul Santa" from webcomic Edison Rex. It makes sense in an odd way, as the modern version of Father Christmas is a Capitalist rebranding of Odin by way of Christian Terrorist St Nicholas. Odin himself appears in a lot of comics and superhero settings, so it's not a stretch by any means, though the comparative mythology is a little more complex between Odin and Father Christmas that a quick Google would indicate. Add to that the past 100+ years of popular culture and the very Americanised "Santa Claus" and perhaps that jolly old elf isn't terribly suited for the cape and tights sets after all.

Before we go too much further on, Edison Rex is a fun read if you've never bothered, but the character that embedded itself best in my memory is certainly Maul Santa, essentially a Christmas-themed Green Goblin riff, complete a holly wreath hoverboard and bauble bombs. I love this idea and have been searching for the perfect miniature for a couple of years now. If you have a lead, please let me know in the comments. Anywho, most interpretations of the character demonstrate some level of power[s] that could be called superhuman, or at least super, to some degree. Notably even St Nicholas, being a Saint and all, could do some fun stuff, when he wasn't beating the living shit out of people for failing to convert. In a superhero setting, where gods, science gone wrong and mythology live side-by-side, some version of Father Christmas isn't too far-fetched in the grand scheme of things.

Should a character like this be a hero, though? It kind of worked in Legend of the Guardians, if you remember that, and Violent Night works with the Father Christmas character having some minor powers but mostly just being an immortal Viking with some hammer skills. For my own time and money, I doubt I'll be exploring this idea beyond making a Maul Santa at some stage, as it's a little too twee for me and I don't celebrate Christmas at all. However, if someone ran with this concept, and did a decent job of it, I could see myself enjoying it, or at least appreciating the effort. Hell, my Equalisers setting has an entire super team based on a sing Beastie Boys music video, complete with miniatures and stats for SuperSystem, so who am I to judge? If Father Christmas is destined to grace a gaming table near me, I won't be too bothered, not matter if they're wielding bauble bombs, magic powers or just a big, bloody hammer.

Superhero Media: Brightburn

Did you know that Brightburn is a backdoor sequel to Super? Because I didn't until I watched it and Michael Rooker turned up as an Alex Jones-esque talking head ranting about the coming of the superheroes. Anyway, if you know anything about Brightburn, it's probably that the film is a "dark" take on the Superman story, with an alien child growing up in the American farm belt and going rogue rather than becoming a hero. And whilst all that is true, what tends to get lost is just how good Brightburn is. As I've discussed before, "evil Superman" is a pretty tired riff, but the team behind this film didn't make the typical mistakes of being obvious or overly fetishistic with the concept, it really is just played straight most of the time, which works really well. Brightburn isn't about how "powerful" Brandon Briars is, or who he can kill in a fight, it's about the horror of ordinary people encountering a force of nature in the shape of an adolescent boy.

Years ago, I wrote an article on this blog entitled "The View From The Trenches", which is still one of my favourite pieces I've done (and barely anyone read, but whatever), and it focused on the idea that a human caught up in a superhero battle must be overwhelmed, if not terrified by the goings-on around them, and lamented how few sources dealt with this concept. Brightburn uses simple film techniques and surprisingly basic special effects to evoke a superhuman on a rampage pretty much better than anything else I've ever seen. In fact, the scenes of Brandon hunting people down are so good, I'd like to see versions of them with the blood and gore cut down to a PG level, because I think that may be even better. Watching the sheriff just vanish in a gust of wind the instant Brandon turns in his direction is phenomenal, and really needs to be repeated in something like the MCU or a Superman film, just without the resulting trail of gore. Not that I'm saying a superhero film can't be violent or bloody, just that it doesn't really need to be to tell the story well.

I'm not saying that I really "need" more of this cinematic universe in my life, but I certainly would be interested in seeing where it all goes if James Gunn and co do decide to do more. Although I feel the "dark heroes" thing is a more than a little overdone, there is room for it if done well, like some of the InJustice narrative, or even Nightstalkers, and the take that they may be newer style horror movie monsters is actually pretty neat. Despite his super powers, Brandon is essentially a "slasher" in the vein of Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees, so throw in a creepy doll, Slenderman and maybe a sexy monstress and you have yourself a decent team right there without too much extra fussing about. Not that I'm looking to build such a team myself, I really have enough already, but if slasher horror is the kick you need to get going on superhero miniatures gaming, who am I to stop you from doing that?

Thinking Out Loud: Gotham Nights

No matter how many ritual sacrifices I make to the dark gods, it seems that the grimmest and darkest versions of Batman will be the only ones to find their way into the cinema for the foreseeable future. And whilst I don't want a return to the "Full Adam West", as it were, I do think that there are a lot of stories to tell with a less intense version of the character. Speaking of Adam West though, if takes on Batman like the "Reeves-verse" are going to remain the flavour of the moment for the foreseeable future, then it turns out that the 1966 series has a lot to offer. Look, I enjoy the classic Batman villains as much as anyone, but with all the films that we've had, the spread of antagonists is pretty slim. Sure, if we're staying "grounded", then characters like Killer Croc and Clayface aren't going to work as well as Riddler and Joker, but there's more than just those options out there. If grounded is what you want, then baby, Adam West has got your back. So here is a quick look at five '66 villains that could be adapted to a grimdark new Batman film and save us from yet another take on Joker. Seriously, let the character be done already.

Bookworm

Though this character is probably a little too close to Riddler at the end of the day, a frustrated writer who expresses his rage though book-themed crimes is a perfect fit for a more detective style Dark Knight. Cryptic clues dripping in literary references, meta-critisicm and getting really mad when he mangles quotes, just turn this guy up to eleven and let him loose in Gotham for a good time. The reading lamp on the head could become a couple of pen lights like he's in Orbital (ask your dad) and give him plenty of creepy scenes wandering around a dark library and the rest almost writes itself. Hell, ask a room of writers to write about writing and this could be pretty epic.


False Face

The real threat being "in the shadows" is a common thread with 'darker' Batman stories, be it Riddler using TikToc to incite a mob or Joker having to be tracked by sonar phones, Batman can't just walk up and punch the problem without some legwork. Whilst False Face has actually had some life since the Silver Age, this master of disguise is perfect for a retooling for the modern day. Add some pathos about him hating his real face because his abusive parents scarred it and False Face is dark enough to be causing Batman trouble again, driving him back into isolation, because who can he trust when the enemy could be anyone?


Chandell (Liberace)

If you watch any Batman, make sure it's the two-parter with Chandell, a famous concert pianist turned criminal trying to get his hands on the Wayne fortune. At the very least, you get to see Liberace play piano for a bit and that's always awesome. Now, I'm not saying that Chandell is a good fit for a darker Batman, but think about the concept of the conflict; Batman versus celebrity. Batman doesn't rely on being liked, so if he came in direct conflict with a popular entertainer, his negative public image would work against him and the tacit support of the law-abiding citizens of Gotham wold no longer be there. Get an actor who also can sing and play an instrument and the film kind of comes together pretty easily. No super powers, just a devious criminal who can play sweet licks.


King Tut

King Tut is a great villain and he needs to come back in a big way at some point, so why not in a major film? A Harvard Professor of Egyptology who comes to believe he is a reincarnated Pharaoh when he suffers head trauma and that Gotham is his new homeland, gifted by the gods. This one should play a little like a Black Mask or Two-Face story, with Tut as essentially the head gangster, but with plenty of Ancient Egyptian themes and styling, because for all his madness, Tut is deviously clever and an excellent criminal mind. Plus you can reuse the ending from the '66 series, with Tut regaining his sanity and Batman unable to get the catharsis of defeating the bad guy and having to live with his desire for revenge left unsatisfied. 


Marsha, Queen of Diamonds

Ok, so what if Batman had to fight a member of his own class for a change? Marsha is a beautiful socialite who manipulates men into buying or stealing diamonds for her, leaving them to be caught up by the legal consequences while she flees. As it is, the character is a little shallow and mildly sexist, but there is plenty of potential there for an interesting antagonist with a little bit of work. This could be a story where Bruce is dealing with the enemy as much as Batman, because they move in the same circles and she is probably after him in one respect or another. Bruce will need to let her get close enough to catch her, but not so close she discovers his secret or, even worse, he develops feelings for her. Also, this is a villain Batman can't punch and whose crimes, taking money from obscenely wealthy men, is pretty mild in the grand scheme of things; it's clever in a way Batman aspires to be.

Superhero Media: Godzilla Vs Mothra - The Battle for Earth

It must be surprisingly difficult to write a good Godzilla film, especially in the post-blockbuster age of cinema, where there is a need to both draw in new viewers and keep the existing fans. Because the menagerie of monsters that make up the Godzilla often originated in separate films and were brought across later, the tone can really be "off" depending on which Kaiju are present. Probably the most problematic is Mothra, who spun out of her own, more child-friendly, series, but is now far more associated with the broader Godzilla franchise, and is pretty much a "must-include" every few films. In order to counteract the more fairy tale elements of Mothra, The Battle for Earth doesn't obfuscate them like King of the Monsters, but rather ratchets them up to the mythic level, more in the vein of Gamera - Defender of the Universe. To this end, whilst the Fairies and mystical elements of Mothra are retained, the introduction of Battra as a "dark mirror" to Mothra and the tones of environmental apocalypse do steer away from the childish reads done both before and after.

I'm not sure that I've really covered a "Godzilla gets dragged into someone else's shitfight" Godzilla film before, but The Battle for Earth sees the king of the monsters on the sidelines for huge sections, as the battle is really between Mothra and Battra right up until the end. This means that there is less rubber suit work and more puppets than a typical Godzilla film, which I enjoy, but can look even sillier in some ways, especially with how slow Mothra's wings flap in the fight scenes. There is something of a wonder to how good the scale model work can be on these films and how poor the rubber suits and puppets can look in comparison, but remember, that's just kind of how the genre works and the action needs to be compelling enough to get the audience past the juxtaposition. I'll admit I struggled a little with The Battle for Earth right up until Mothra and Battra teamed up and suddenly Godzilla was fighting against two airborne foes, something I hadn't really seen before.

The environmental message in The Battle for Earth is pretty weak by contemporary standards, basically being about not polluting and saving rain-forests, but isn't it kind of shocking that no one seemed to take these on board? I mean, scientists have been warning people about human-driven climate change since at least the 1970s, but we kept doing the same dumb shit? Weird. Maybe we do need a giant magical moth and her two fairy friends to tell us to stop being dumb and wrecking the only planet we have. Another interesting note, The Battle for Earth starts out with something of a Raiders of the Lost Ark tribute sequence set in the Philippines; the Philippines, of course, often being the go-to "mystical and/or mysterious ruins" location in Japanese cinema. There's also some small shots at Japanese corporate culture, but nothing on the scale of Final Wars or Shin Godzilla. There's very little "wrong" with The Battle for Earth, but it is also far from the strongest Godzilla outing of its era.

The Silzer Project - Part V

And here were are at the end of this mess. I honestly almost deleted the previous entries rather than write this one out, out of a combination of internal cringe over something I wrote in my teens and just not wanting to type this out. But, doing this was intended to be an exercise in getting this all down in one place and putting the ideas to bed for now. Whilst I cannot currently see a way I can realise the Slizer story, having it out there means I may get some feedback, suggestions or even just have the chance to think more myself when I finally go to hit "Publish" and get the eureka moment I've been looking for. Also though, this sprawling story was something I made up in my head playing with Lego growing up, and whilst it's not good and not something I'd really want to properly published, I'm not so down on it that I can't see the good ideas I had and maybe file them away in my mind for future use.

Slizer - Finale

With a new war looming on the horizon, the powers that back the Slizer Team begin to fracture, and a mad scrabble for the control of the Slizers begins. Most of the alien members of the team just bugger off with their Slizers, the rival to Calvin (he had a name with lots of contestants which I don't remember) takes the Ice Slizer and uses it to front a military coup and take over his native government. Now in control, he withdraws from the Slizer alliance and starts reinforcing the border, though states that there will be no aggressive action from their military. Meanwhile, another alien empire is starting to arm themselves with large war machines intended to fight the Slizers. Seeing the writing on the wall, the more insect-like alien race takes full control of the Slizers, though the human pilots and some soldiers loyal to them maintain their own small area of the compound. The insect aliens only have control of three Slizers, Millennium, Blaster and Flare, and the pilot of the Blaster Slizer, Butterfly (the insect aliens take on names of familiar bugs and get surgically modified to be more humanoid when working with other races) is reluctant to push back against the human pilots too hard.

As the insect-like aliens want better control of the Slizers than they have, they build several more and give them to their own pilots. The introduction of the Speed, Justice, Space, Shock, Time and Stealth Slizers swings the war back into the favour of the Slizer Force, at least until the rebel leader finally emerges. It turns out that Calvin has been alive all this time, kind of. You see, the Slizers were always more alive than anyone let on, requiring a symbiotic bonding with a pilot, of which only Calvin met the requirements so far. Now being neither Calvin nor the Jungle Slizer, our hero is leading the revolt of, basically, the working classes of the Century against the Slizer Force and, by extension, both of the alien races that had been backing it. In an classic "the enemy of my enemy" situation, the newer alien empire and Calvin's forces cooperate to keep the traditional power structure on their back-foot. The rebellion are making slow progress until Butterfly and the remaining human Slizer pilots defect over to their side and Calvin makes the choice to focus on the alien race now led by his former rival. This means that the two opposing forces of Slizers are fighting opponents without them and the war progresses in their favour quickly.

As clearly I was watching Anime by this point, the wars get settled by big fights between individuals, usually involving swords and/or mechs. Calvin and his rival have a big duel as the rebellion lay siege to the alien planet, that Calvin wins because he's superhuman at this point. Butterfly and Calvin have started a relationship during this time, with Butterfly steadily modifying herself to be more "human" during this time as Calvin becomes less human the longer he's bonded with the Jungle Slizer. The new alien power finally breaks against the insect aliens and the remnants of the Slizer force and the Century is now a stand off between two groups armed with super weapons. Peace negotiations start, with the main thrust being that time travel must be banned and the Slizers must be destroyed. As Calvin and the pilot of the Millennium Slizer are both part of their Slizers (the latter through deliberate cyborg modification), they decide to settle it in a big one-on-one fight, which Calvin wins, though the Slizer part of him is badly damaged and goes dormant. In order to maintain the peace, Calvin agrees to go into exile in case the Slizer emerges again, Butterfly goes with him and the remaining human heroes travel back in time one last time to ensure that they are locked in a predestination paradox to carry out all these events.

So there we go, that's the story. I'd say something clever, but honestly, I'm pretty over this and glad to be done. See you next time.

Superhero Media: The Falcon and The Winter Soldier

In what is hopefully the last change for a while, Lead Capes is moving to Tuesdays and Saturdays. 

I'll admit that I was a little apprehensive about the MCU moving to a streaming model for some projects, as Agents of SHIELD, the Nextlfix series and The Inhumans had all swung a great deal in quality. For all the criticisms that one can lay at the MCU, "looking cheap" isn't one of them, but television pretty much always looks cheaper than film, and the idea of Anthony Mackie hanging by an obvious harness in front of an obvious greenscreen just wasn't something I was ok with. What I got, however, was a seamless, engaging, exciting geopolitical adventure right in the vein of Winter Soldier and Civil War, essentially another Captain America film, just a little longer and something of a 'soft reboot' for the franchise. Feeling the weight of responsibility on having been handed the shield by Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson opts to remain the Falcon and donate the shield to the Smithsonian, not willing to be the new Captain America. Meanwhile, James 'Bucky' Barnes is working through his therapy and trying to put a life together post-Winter Soldier. Also there's a pseudo-anarchist, pseudo-terror group called the Flag-Smashers who want to return to the world as it was in-between Infinity War and Endgame.

I'm not going to get too much into the politics of Karli Morgenthau and the Flag-Smashers here, as I have another piece discussing that in the pipeline, but it is pretty cool that a form of anarchist movement aren't immediately demonised and have legitimate concerns the heroes engage with. As they aren't technically affiliated with the American government, Sam and Bucky can work in the grey areas, with Sharon Carter and even Baron Zemo alongside them for stretches as the new Captain America (John Walker) closes in on the Flag-Smashers. "Grey" is one of the best words to describe the tone of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, as every character's point of view, assumptions and personal politics are repeatedly challenged throughout the programme; which is where the real genius of the series lies. Zemo is right, uncontrolled super-soldiers are dangerous and cannot be allowed to proliferate, but he is also a murdering psychopath who uses his wealth as a weapon. Elijah Bradley is correct in that he was used as a commodity by the US military because of his race, but he makes the wrong call about Sam donning the Captain America mantle. Even Sam needs to be open to new ideas and to growth and change in order to get to the place where he can comfortably carry the shield.

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier may be, other than Wandavision, the thematically deepest of any MCU production to date. In a programme about super-soldiers chasing terrorists around the globe, we are introduced to basic tenants of contemporary Anarchism, the disgusting treatment of African Americans in the military that continued well into the twentieth century, the dangers of tribalism and partisan politics and even the limits on compassion that borders and capitalism impose. Although Karli and her team are dead by the closing credits, their ideas aren't, and even Sam Wilson, Captain America, is advocating for change to a global system that creates the displacement and massive wealth disparity that drove the Flag-Smashers to revolt in the first place. A truly cynical reading of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier may say that it only exists to set up a new status-quo for the next series of films, which it does, but that seems to willfully ignore all of the meat on those continuity bones. Yes, Sam is Captain America now for the next time the Avengers assemble, but he's a different Cap coming from his own unique place with his own agenda. If this is the quality we can expect moving forward, I'm keen for more MCU.

Miniatures Finished: Unmatched - Hell's Kitchen

I was a little iffy on picking up the Marvel Unmatched sets at first, not that they didn't look fun, but I already have so many games where I can play Marvel characters, you know? However, Hell's Kitchen is kind of perfect. Not only are these three characters kind of a match for each other, they have a reason to fight each other and the entire set evokes a classic Frank Miller Daredevil comic. If I was just going to get one Marvel Unmatched box, it was going to be Hell's Kitchen, for sure.

Daredevil, Elektra and Bullseye, unlike the regular Unmatched sets, the Marvel ones have sculpted detail on the bases.

Superhero Media: Glass

I hadn't heard much good about Glass, the finale of the Unbreakable/Split series, but I almost really enjoyed it myself. Almost. The issue I have with M. Knight Shaymalan's approach to cinema has always floated around my mind, but have never quite managed to articulate before now, is that he's trying too hard to be clever. In terms of construction, Glass is pretty solid, with all three "superpowered" characters (Overseer, The Beast and Mister Glass) bringing their supporting cast members with them and coming together in a fun crossover before it's all inverted and our protagonists end up in the clutches of Sarah Paulson's evil psychiatrist. When things turn out to have been manipulated by Mister Glass all along, well that's just nice work and brings everything back to the 'comics but dialed down just a little' feel of the best parts of Unbreakable and Split. Sadly, there's another layer of Shaymalan twist on top of all that which, yeah, kind of kills the emotion of the film and Glass just ends up playing a little flat. Real shame.

Again, I'm not super happy about the whole "evil yet somehow incredibly gullible" pysch trope, even if I've been a big fan of Paulson since Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, but given that Shaymalan seems to really hate mental health workers for some reason, I was willing to let that slide before the second-to-last reveal of Glass. You see, she's not just some Psych, but a member of an ancient secret society that has, somehow, kept the existence of superhumans secret since the dawn of time or some shit. Now, that's not ostensibly dumber than the Court of Owls or any similar in comics, but it really jars with the tone of the film, especially when the entire organisation is undermined by Mister Glass, from beyond the grave, in the closing minutes of the film. It's a baffling decision, and Glass would have honestly been just as interesting with a more 'traditional' superhero fight ending and dropping the whole Secret Society nonsense.

Oddly, I would say that Glass does demonstrate that Shaymalan is a talented filmmaker, as the script is solid, the cinematography is amazing and everything just looks great, except maybe the big throwdown at the end. Glass just needs a heavier edit and maybe it could be pretty damn great. For as much as I want superhero cinema to branch out of the MCU space, I would also really like those films to be, you know, good? As homogeneous as they can be (though I'd argue that), the MCU films have a degree of oversight that means stuff like a pointless secret society who exist only to pad out another fifteen minutes would never come to be. I'm not saying that Glass needed to be the start of an entirely new cinematic universe, but if the ending is going to be left so wide open, why not have Mister Glass, Overseer and The Beast, who are the reason butts are in the cinema in the first place, vanish into the aether of the credits to hang sinisterly in the minds of fans? Almost great, a shame the studio didn't have the guts to force it into shape.