Superhero Media: Batman RIP

Ever read or watch something that other people have acclaimed as the work of genius and thought to yourself, "Wait, is this actually just a pile of shit?" Batman RIP is an odd beast, it's part soft-reboot, a simultaneous attempt to bot retcon out the Silver Age and celebrate it and it's also trying to tie up a couple of years of Batman continuity. Basically none of these lofty goals really work, as there's too much going on for veteran writer Grant Morrison to really get to grips with any of it in a satisfying way. I wasn't really aware that, after the various Crises that the DCU has been through, Batman's Silver Age adventures were still considered to "have happened" within the broader continuity. I mean, I like the sillier stories of the Silver Age, "A Boner for Batman" and "The Bat-baby" may not fit perfectly with the current conception of what Batman is, but they do represent where the character has been. Erasing these stories with a hand-wave, or worse, implying that they only ever happened in Batman's mind as part of a psychological defense so good even Batman for got that he did it, only serves to diminish, not enhance the character. 

Another pet peeve I have with Batman, which crops up in RIP, is the concept that the conflict between Batman and Joker is somehow inevitable and/or appropriate, like two universal opposites that have always been and must always be. What a load of shit. Batman's opposite number is clearly Bane (or maybe Owlman), so when the Black Glove (more on them in a minute) recruit the Joker to help them kill Batman, their shock at Joker's eventual betrayal just comes across as really dumb. Speaking of dumb, the Black Glove have a convoluted plot to drive Batman insane through a phony romance, the accusation that Alfred is his father and having a team of new costumed villains tearing up Gotham. I'm sure longtime Batman fans will be thrilled to have new foes like the Hunchback, the Swagman and Caligula doing nothing at all interesting to fill in time before Joker turns up. Oh, and Joker is now David Bowie? "The Thin White Duke of Death", no idea what they were getting at there, I guess Morisson is a big Bowie fan and wanted to work it in somewhere.
 

This "Epic Batman event, decades in the making" is pretty naff, all in. It aims for Operatic, but falls far short and lands somewhere around pastiche. The idea that Batman is so well prepared for various forms of attack that even he doesn't know everything he's put in place sounds like a bad joke at how the character has developed over the past decade. Batman RIP is an interesting and often frustrating read, but probably more worth a borrow than purchase and certainly not an essential part of your Batman collection.  

Champions of the Omniverse - Part 8

When last we left our heroes, they had departed for Denning Military Reservation in Colorado in the X-Men Blackbird. They touch down outside an old, abandoned military base featuring some moldering barracks, sneaking up through some woods, Koga bends light around the group to reduce visibility and Spiderstrike lowers noise with his powers. The still reverie of the morning is broken by the blast of a shotgun and our heroes freeze where they stand. 
"Y'all git away now, y'hear? This here is my find and no body's gonna tak it from me!" 
It seems that an anachronistic cliche of a grizzled 1890s prospector has taken up residence in the abandoned barracks and is planning to scrap the Breeder Bomb for the metal. Whilst Koga and Spiderstrike try to sneak around to the building, Gigawatt hurls abuse at the man and Manzilla stomps directly towards him.
"I don't want no part of your mutant, gay, liberal, Jew agenda! Stay back!" the cracking voice is punctuated by another shotgun blast. Bursting through the door, Manzilla attempts to grab the gun away from the madman, but is rewarded with a shot of slat and grit directed at him. Seeing that the man is a harmless, Conservative-voting moron, Manzilla explains that they want to take the machine apart for him; he agrees. As soon as Sonic Tsunami begins to deactivate the device, however, an ominous shadow looms in the distance, the Sentinels have arrived! 

 

Knowing that they're in real danger, the team hatch a plan to gang up on each Sentinel in turn, hoping to survive the onslaught of the others long enough to deactivate the Breeder Bomb. Sonic Tsunami stays in the barracks to work on the device and the team charges the first giant, mutant-killing robot, Gigawatt ripping a door from its hinges as a weapon whilst Firestarter purloins one of the prospector's jugs of moonshine as fuel for his powers. In order to distract the second and third Sentinels whilst the team attacks the first, Koga uses the light-manipulation technology in his costume to create five duplicates, which draw the Sentinel's fire; despite this, Manzilla cops a hefty blow from one of the robots. Thanks to his powers, Firestarter manages to get one of the Sentinels ablaze, but is unable to tell how much he's helping the fight. 

Manzilla makes a charge against the first Sentinel, knocking it over with his atomic bulk and allowing Spiderstrike to run in a blast the monstrous robot apart with his "Spider's Bite" energy blasts! Realigning themselves against the next of the three Sentinels, our heroes do not hesitate; Gigawatt hurls more debris before charging in, striking at the legs of the robot as Manzilla flies at the chest. Unfortunately for our heroes, Sentinels are "learning machines" and have figured out that they have been attacking light duplicates and turn their attentions to other members of the team. Firestarter, Manzilla, Gigawatt and Spiderstrike charge in against the second Sentinel, staggering it and knocking it over, raining blows on its prostrate form. Just when the Champions are feeling confident, Manzilla is brought down by a blast from the third Sentinel. 
 

Koga makes use of his light-clones, hiding in the group for some cover from the third Sentinel. Continued pummeling from Spiderstrike and Gigawatt renders the second Sentinel into a pile of scrap and the team turns to the last mutant murdering metal monster. Koga uses the corrosives hidden in his gloves to weaken the armour of the last Sentinel and the rest of the team charges in to help. In a combined-attack splash panel, Koga, Spiderstrike and Gigawatt destroy the Sentinel in a single assault! By now, Sonic Tsunami has managed to deactivate the Breeder Bomb and the team convinces the racist, homophobic scrapper to take the wrecked Sentinels instead and they make haste back to the X-Mansion.

Superhero Media: Battle Scars

Now I'm usually the person pointing out that film and television are much bigger markets than comics and that people who complain when either isn't "true to the original" are more than a little petty. It could also be said that I feel that, given the huge disparity in markets between comics and films, drawing the comics closer to the, more popular, films can only really be considered a smart marketing move. All that said, I feel that Battle Scars was a bit of a ham-handed way to get Sam Jackson Nick Fury, Phil Coulson and the Agents of SHIELD into the 616 Marvel Universe. Again, it's not that the idea is bad, but the story seems a bit forced in parts, like when Deadpool shows up for no real reason, other than his being a popular character so his presence on the cover would sell more issues. On the other hand, the inclusion of Taskmaster and the Serpent Squad is pretty cool, as well as references to classic Jim Steranko Nick Fury comics. 

I think part of the problem may stem from having no real interest in the protagonist; I honestly can't even remember his name for most of the comic (he later finds out his real name is Nick Fury Jr). There's a basic set-up involving a history of college football and time in Afghanistan, fighting with the Army Rangers, but before the reader can blink, Fury Jr's mother is dead and he's fighting Russian mercenaries until Cap, Daisy and SHIELD pull his arse out of the fire. From then on, the story lurches from action scene to action scene with no real pause or joining narrative; the whole thing plays like a trashy action film where pace replaces character and motivation.

The end result, however, seems worth the rough road getting there. MCU SHIELD is active in 616 and an adaptation of an adaptation of Ultimate Nick Fury is up and running alongside the classic versions of all your favorite Marvel super heroes. All I'm saying is, maybe skip reading Battle Scars and just read the wiki or digest to get the story. Hey, if you can handle the idea of radiation giving people super-powers and fungus people living in the core of the Earth, then SLJ turning up to be the new Nick Fury isn't too big a deal. 

Champions of the Omniverse - Part 7

Having traveled to New York City, our heroes and The Fixer begin to investigate the rooftop where "Firenado" killed Mentallo, or at least where that event appears to have happened, if indeed it did happen. With the usual smattering of scientists that every superhero team seems to have, the Champions start to investigate the crime scene. The location of the "murder" and the cameraman are soon uncovered and Spiderstrike elects to open up a skylight and climb down into the abandoned cannery and investigate. Inside, our multi-limbed hero finds Mentallo strapped to a strange computerised device, he calls up for help and Koga, Gigawatt, Firenado, Firestarter and The Fixer come down. An argument erupts between the heroes over what to do about the machine and Mentallo, whilst unobserved, The Fixer walks over and starts to sabotage the machine. Spiderstrike dives to stop Fixer, but it's too late, the machine's defenses activate, with a laser turret popping out on both the north and south walls whilst, on the roof, exact duplicates of Firenado and Mentallo burst out of the water tank! 

Catching our heroes by surprise, the laser cannons wound Spiderstrike and blast Fixer into unconsciousness. Thinking quickly, Koga uses the light-bending technology in his suit to direct the laser blasts into each other, destroying the guns before they can do any more damage. Up on the roof, Manzilla uses his Ionic Breath to generate a storm-cloud above the cannery, but the reduced visibility doesn't prevent Mentallo from shooting down Sonic Tsunami whilst Firenado blasts fire back at Manzilla. Inside the cannery, Koga and Gigawatt are having a time of it freeing Mentallo from the machine, so Firenado and Spiderstrike head back up to the roof, leaving both Firenado and Manzilla confused at the presence of two Firenados. Enraged at probably finding the true killer, Firenado blasts the Mentallo doppelganger, revealing the imposter to actually be a sophisticated robot! No longer worried about hurting his friend, Manzilla blasts "Firenado" with his ionic breath, freezing him in a block of ice. 
 

Meanwhile, back at the X-mansion, Professor X has examined the robots, discovering a magnetic memory tape inside one that shows none other than the X-Men's arch-nemesis, Magneto! The vision shows Magneto working on a high-tech device and an electronic map in the background with lights in the USA, Central America, Australia and Northern Asia. An interrogation of Mentallo reveals that he was working with Magneto to create "Breeder Bombs", weapons that would change the levels of radiation in the atmosphere and create more mutants in the next generations. Once Mentallo had used his powers (enhanced by one of Magneto's machines) to help Magneto gather all of the parts necessary for the Breeder Bombs, he was betrayed and left in the machine to rot. Professor X discerns that the first of the bombs is in Colorado and the team prepares to depart. 

 

Superhero Media: Wolverine Origin

I'm not a fan of Wolverine at the best of times, and this comic doesn't really help at all. I know comic fans cry out for expanded continuity like a toothless addict cries for crystal meth, but did this comic ever really need to happen? Personality wise, Logan is dull and only made interesting by the fact that his past is a mystery; as soon as the reader knows that Wolverine was once a sickly, prissy child named James Howlett, there's nothing more to really care about. Therein lays the problem with this story, James is not an interesting character on his own merits, wanting to avoid fighting and pining over a bland, two-dimensional redhead girl who, for some reason, is the actual protagonist of the story. Wait, why is this considered a "classic" in the Marvel canon again? 

I know that when I'm keen for some superhero action, flipping open a comic and finding the story of a love triangle in a rural, colonial Canadian mining camp is exactly the thrill I was looking for! There's the occasional fight, just to keep things interesting, but does anyone really care about the rivalry between James and Cookie? Also James runs with some wolves occasionally, which I'm not sure is meant to be read literally or as symbolism for his awakening animal instincts? He's the Wolverine after all, and characterised as a loner, why is he involved with a pack animal? Hell, wolves don't even hunt in the same ways a Logan, so the metaphor is completely off. I guess it just makes for some good splash panels to use in the advertising so that the comic looks more interesting than it is.
 

I cannot recommend this comic at all, even for die-hard Wolverine fans. Logan barely does anything and the overall narrative is dull at the best of times. This doesn't explore who Wolverine really is, it just names him as James Howlett, which, as mentioned above, only serves to hurt the mystique of the character. The scene in The Ultimates where Captain America identifies Wolverine as "Lucky Jim Howlett" and talks about what happened in WWII is much better (and quicker) than this entire comic and achieves the same result. Better yet check out the WWII episodes of The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes animated series for some fun cameos from "Lucky Jim" fighting alongside Cap, Bucky and the Howling Commandos.

Terrain Finished: Cell Towers

A couple of quick paint jobs and my Knights of Dice Cell Towers are done: 

Copplestone and Reaper minis for scale. 

Just some more roof clutter to make games of Supers more exciting. A nice little kit that came up well with a couple of sprays and a wash. 

Superhero Media: Young Justice - Invasion

After watching the second season of Young Justice, I think I finally understand the level of love which people have for this programme. The writing is sharp, the characters are deep and each episode works both as a stand-alone and as part of an ongoing story. Young Justice really is great for what it is, a children's cartoon. Sorry for the big fans out there, but as good as this is (and it's quite good), it's not at the same level as something like Daredevil or The Dark Knight. And that's ok! If you want to really engross yourself in the depth that this programme has to offer, go ahead; I watch a tonne of Dragonball after all. I'm even keen for the third season of Young Justice myself now, to see what happens with Dick, how the world handles two Roys and Superboy's continued search for identity. 

The core narrative of this season is the Reach invading Earth, inspired by the brilliant first run of Jaime Reyes Blue Beetle; Jaime is a new major character, which is great, but the plot can't help but be inferior in comparison to the original comics. As always, the programme is driven by character, and there is a tonne of new characters, including Beast Boy, Impulse, Robin (Tim) and Lagoon Boy (yeah, I don't know either). Mongul makes an appearance, which is pretty cool, especially when he goes toe-to-toe with Black Beetle (not the one from the comics, actually the Reach Warrior beetle with a new name). Also there are plenty of crummy villains, if that's your thing, Sportsmaster is a major player again and Mercy Graves is now a cyborg? I don't read enough DC to know if that was a thing before, I only know her from the DCAU "Timmverse" and when she showed up in Batman: No Man's Land.
 

This is a pretty strong programme when you get down to it. It suffers from the problems inherent in being children's entertainment, like having to skirt profane language or actually dealing with sexuality in an adult fashion, but that's the price we pay for having superheroes, apparently. Is the new series going to be on Netflix? I have a feeling it is, which may allow the ratings to be pushed up a little, I'm sick of teenagers saying "darn" when they're upset; fucking Seppo prudishness. Still, I'm keen for Season Three when that finally happens.