Superhero Media: Underworld Evolution

Is it ok to say that I just don't "get" the Underworld films? Is it just about Kate Beckinsale looking good in a corset and latex pants? Is it the "depth" of the lore? Is it the joy of watching something mindless? Please, let me know. The story picks up with Selene and Michael on the run from the remaining Vampires, hoping to get far enough away so that when the ancient Marcus awakens, they aren't caught and killed immediately. Much of the film is told in flashback and exposition, as Selene and Michael learn the true history of the Vampire and Werewolf clans, with both being descended from warring brothers. There's something of the descent of Cain and Abel in that which I'm assuming isn't intended to ape the White Supremacist interpretation, as these films seem to miss "the ruling classes are monsters" aspect of Vampire fiction to begin with. Selene still gets a chance to prove what a special little Mary Sue she is between long sections of exposition detailing Len Wiseman's homebrew setting for his Vampire: The Masquerade game. 

Yeah, I kind of lost patience with this one, the constant exposition was a bit much, especially because a lot of great British actors I really enjoy have to spout it from scene to scene. Seriously, how much money was thrown at Tony Curran, Bill Nighy, Steven Mackintosh and Derek Jacobi to get them to say shit like "For centuries I've stood back and watched the havoc my sons have wrought on each other, and on humanity - not the legacy I prayed for the morning I watched them enter this world... And it's been a tiresome duty - keeping the war contained, cleaning up the mess, hiding my family's unfortunate history?" Ugh. Jacobi was Cadfael and Emperor Claudius for Thor's sake! The fight scenes of Underworld Evolution are pretty good again, with the gulf between character power levels illustrated well visually and there's a pretty cool Vampire kill with a helicopter in the climax. 

As bad as Blade Trinity was, I can't help feeling, again, that the Underworld series is a pale imitator of the Daywalker, or, as alluded to above, Wiseman's fan-fiction wrote large on the big screen. As far as intersecting Vampires and superheroes, the Blade series sets it up better, with Vampires being hidden behind human society, rather than kept apart and obfuscated by a benevolent immortal. I'm honestly considering not bothering with the rest of the series (there are how many of these?) as whatever charm is supposed to be there just fails to land on me. Then again, I've stuck with the Gamera series through some garbage, so I may as well give another one or two a go. If you're not already a fan of this series, I can't say I recommend it, but hey, I'm a bit jaded on the "Vampire Mafia" thing from too many years of White Wolf roleplaying games anyway.