Friday, August 12, 2022

From the Archives - 4

A decade ago, I ran a blog where I reviewed media pretty exclusively. You can't find it now, but one of the articles I thought it'd be fun to revisit would be "Top 10 Superhero Movie Fights", especially considering that I wrote it in 2011 before even The Avengers was released. Down the track I'll do an updated one, but for now enjoy my old, clunky writing style: 

So, I wanted to do something a bit different and flex my film studies/comic book nerd credentials a bit and steal Empire's shtick. I should point out that the list below is by no means comprehensive; believe it or not, I've never actually seen Superman II or the David Hasselhoff Nick Fury film. However, I do feel that the list is fair, the spread of films is broad and so is the scope of the given scenes. 
But what makes a good Superhero fight? To understand this, we need to look at classic fight scenes from comics; Batman versus Superman in The Dark Knight Returns, Quicksilver in any part of The Ultimates 2 or Spiderman versus the Green Goblin in "The Day Gwen Stacy Died". What all these have in common is the real "wow" factor that comes with superhuman foes belting the crap out of each other. In a martial arts film, a "good" fight scene is on that is technically competent from the standpoint of someone examining the fight with a trained expert's eye. The Superhero genre bucks this convention, deliberately giving the audience a fight impossible to replicate in the real world. Though it may sound like an action film in this respect, the gaudy nature of the superhero creates a different experience, as will be demonstrated below. 
I know as I write this that there will be at least one complaint about this list; the lack of a DC Animated Universe film. It's not that the films are bad (Justice League: New Frontier is probably the only good Justice League film that will ever be made), it's just that they lack a truly "wow" worthy fight scene. Batman versus the Red Hood is a fun fight, but there's nothing to it that cannot be found in Police Story or The Game of Death
Also, as the next two years will see the release of Thor, Green Lantern, The First Avenger: Captain America, The Avengers, X-Men: First Class and the next Nolan Batman sequel as well as reboots of the Spiderman and Fantastic Four franchises. If I'm still doing this in 2013, I'll update this list, but for now, it'll have to do. So onwards, true believers! 

Top 10 Superhero Movie Fights 

10. Gordon vs The Joker (The Dark Knight - 2008)


The only inclusion of Nolan's take on Batman, it may surprise you to see this so low on the countdown, but there's a simple reason behind this; The Dark Knight, although an excellent film, is not a superhero film. What? Yes. The Dark Knight is a crime film and this is evidenced by the fact that the best fight scene in the film isn't about how awesome Batman is, but how awesome Jim Gordon is. Also more of a car chase, when Dent is offered as bait to capture the Joker, the fight is carried by Gordon all the way. Think of this as the Batman equivalent to Yoda breaking out the lightsabre in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, you always suspected he was a badass, this is just conformation. From "I hope you got some moves pal" to "We got ya", Jim Gordon romps this in and shows us what he's really capable of.


9. Spiderman vs Doctor Octopus (Spiderman 2 - 2004) 

 
Specifically the one on the train, in-between when the pair lands on the tracks and when Doc Ock smugly utters "You have a train to catch". Perhaps a little CG heavy, but having two of Marvel's most iconic characters duke it out on the side of a train makes for one hell of a fight. Bouncing around, over, under and through the train during the battle, this scene perfectly captures the feel of a Spiderman comic. Pity this franchise blew so hard, there's a few more good fights in the trilogy, this is just the best one. 


8. Matt vs Elektra (Daredevil - 2003) 

 
Not the tragic lovers' battle in the third act of the film, but the (literally) violent flirtation between the characters in the playground at the beginning of their romantic arc. If you're wondering how on Earth I could rate anything from this film higher than anything from The Dark Knight, stop reading now, there's worse to come. Hey, bad films can have good moments in them and here's proof. This fight is fun, well choreographed and adds to the plot, which puts it a cut above most on-screen fights already. If you're still not convinced, Youtube this and watch it without the context of Daredevil to drag it down. Note to Christopher Nolan: this is what the Batman/Catwoman arc should resemble. 


7. The Punisher vs The Russian (The Punisher - 2004) 

 
Never mind that The Punisher was unfairly ignored by the public, or badly edited to remove most of the plot, or made on a budget that would have the BBC drama department making fun of them (obscure joke, I know), the film is the best translation of Marvel's Skull-shirted vigilante to the big screen that has ever been made. The proof of the pudding is in the scene where Frank and a mysterious assailant, known only as "The Russian" go toe-to-toe while "La Donne Mobile" plays loudly in the background. This scene is darkly hilarious, combining the brutality of a barroom brawl with the comic timing of vaudeville. Thomas Jane's acting really shines here as well, the looks on his face as he scrambles away from grenades, has his guns destroyed and gets his head slammed in a fridge door are both funny and nauseating. This fight also features the only stunt Jane was not initially allowed to do, getting thrown through a plaster wall, and when The Russian picks him up off the hallway floor, there is a hasty cut as the crew patch up Jane's actually bloody nose. Excelsior! 


6. Blade vs Nomak (Blade II - 2002) 

 
What? Another kinda-crummy hero romp? Yeah. Ok, so the Blade series is lackluster at best, but this brawl is fantastic. Blade is clearly a trained fighter and his choreography matches this, whilst Nomak is a brawler relying on his superior strength and agility to win the day. If there's one thing Del Toro can direct, it's two big guys wailing on each other in a visually pleasing way. Highlights of this fight include the world's biggest "People's Elbow", a bone crunching arm-regeneration and Blade keeping his sunglasses on in a display that would make David Caruso jealous. As with Daredevil, watch this again without the rest of the film to colour it. Actually, that comment is unfair to Kris Kristofferson, who makes the best of these terrible films with some great one-liners. 


5. Nightcrawler vs The Secret Service (X2 - 2003) 

 
The dramatic opening of X2 sees Kurt Wagner using his teleport ability to circumvent Whitehouse security and threaten the life of the American President. Whilst this scene is cool, and arguably one of the best in the X-Men Film Franchise, it's not getting any higher than this because the fight is too one-sided. Nightcrawler (rightly) makes mincemeat (figuratively) out of the Secret Service, whilst this is great to watch, it's really more of an effects sequence in the end. 


4. Dash vs Syndrome Goons (The Incredibles - 2004) 

 
Brad Bird and Pixar's Superhero pastiche/tribute masterpiece is, in my opinion, the best Superhero film produced to date. To explain this would take up as much space as the whole of this review, so I'll just enter this scene into evidence. In escaping Syndrome's goons, young Dash truly gets to experiment with his powers for the first time, running on water and out-maneuvering flying blade thingys with a child's delight in a wonderfully presented scene. I'm going to go watch this again. 


3. BPRD vs The Golden Army (Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - 2008) 


It's a shame that there haven't been many good Hero Team films, but this (almost) climatic battle between Hellboy and his BPRD team against an army of "industrable" clockwork robots demonstrates how a team of heroes can have a fight where they all get to do something and don't break out of character (I'm looking at you Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer). The Hellboy films are underrated gems and this fight demonstrates what I mentioned above, that being Del Toro's keen eye for an action sequence. "Industrable my ass." 


2. Hulk vs Blonsky (The Incredible Hulk - 2008) 

 
Much maligned, but rarely actually watched, the Hulk reboot featuring Edward Norton does a pretty good job of telling a Hulk story on the big screen. The drawcard fight in this film is the Hulk/Abomination 32 minute brawl at the end of the film, but the real gem is much earlier. Hopped up on Super Soldier Serum and Gamma radiation, Emil Blosky (still in Tim Roth form) goes toe to toe with the Hulk and holds his ground for a few minutes. This fight is fluid, dynamic and a lot of fun, exactly what Superhero movie fights should be. 


1. Iron Man and War Machine vs Hammerroids (Iron Man 2 - 2010) 

 
Aww yeah! If two guys in high-tech battle armour blasting away at a horde of robots whist cracking one-liners isn't your idea of fun, then what are you doing watching superhero films? Tony and Rhody cut loose on out of control robots with enough explosions to make Micheal Bay need to change pants. Maybe it lacks the visual poetry of Bruce Lee versus Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in The Game of Death, this scene culminates the expectations of film-goers everywhere who want to see Iron Man kick butt in a visually interesting way. Citizen Kane this is not, but it's damn good for what it is. 

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