Superhero Media: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out of the Shadows

I stand by my (more-or-less) positive review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), whilst it doesn't reach the heights of the 1990 film or even Turtles Forever, it manages to be fun and there are a lot of good scenes and some great visual elements. Out of the Shadows is not even as good as the 2014 film, though I believe it is precisely the TMNT film I wanted when I was eight years old. Yes it's dumb, but it's a story about four mutant turtles fighting a ninja master and inter-dimensional aliens, how serious did you expect it to be? If you can't enjoy the Turtle-Van chase sequence or Bebop and Rocksteady riding a tank down a river, what the hell are you doing calling yourself a TMNT fan? Yes, Out of the Shadows isn't really that good a film, but it's so fun and so quickly paced that watching it, I really didn't care. 

Sadly, there is no backpedal on the terrible Shredder, but once he accidentally ends up in Dimension X and makes a deal with Krang to open a portal in return for the death of the Turtles, he fades into the background. In order to facilitate this, Krang hands over a container of Ooze so that Shredder can make his own mutants. Baxter Stockman, of TGRI, uses the ooze on a couple of street thugs, and Bebop and Rocksteady are born. Holy hell, how is Out of the Shadows the most faithful TMNT adaptation? Sure, it's not all good news, Tyler Perry is terrible as Baxter Stockman, which is no surprise, and the sub-plot of the ooze turning the turtles human both makes no sense and goes nowhere. Purists may complain about the turtles getting a public debut, but I like the new spin on the story and would be interested to see where it went in any following films.
 

Stephen Amell is not a good Casey Jones, not holding a candle to Elias Koteas, but the script gives him little to do and fighting off ninjas with a hockey stick and puck makes for a fun scene. The climatic battle on top of the slowly-forming Technodrome with Krang looks like it would make an awesome SuperSystem game, and that Mikey saves the day with a skateboard is pure Turtles gold. Internet nerd culture have panned this because of what Bay did to the Transformers franchise, give it a fair go and you may just find a lot to enjoy. There's also a brilliant version of the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song over the credits that's really hard to find, but is on Google Play and can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMZjlllTz5I Hey, I said this was the version I would have wanted as a child, embrace it! Turtle power!

Thinking Out Loud: In the grim darkness of the present, there is only fanboys...

A revelation that should shock no one; I talk about superheroes a lot with my friends. These days, the topic of superhero film and television comes up a lot, especially speculation about which hero[es] are ripe for adaptation. What does shock me is just how many people like the idea of an "adult", "gritty" or "R rated" take on a particular hero or team. Seriously? Are we still doing this? The Iron Age ended about twenty years ago guys. I can't believe that I have to keep to breaking this to "grown men", but comic book superheroes were made for kids and they're best when the writers and creators keep that in mind when working. We've had, what, two good R-rated superhero films and pretty must just the Netflix stuff for television, right? Compare that to the other "adult" entries in the genre to Spawn, Kick-Ass, Faust: Love of the Damned, Blade Trinity, Punisher War Zone, Batman v Superman and countless of others that may be fun, but don't really hit a level of quality like Deadpool or Logan. 

I'm guessing this all comes back to The Dark Knight Returns and the misunderstanding that most people have about it. It's actually a parody of the very style that it presents, quite deliberately pointing out how ridiculous the overwrought, musclebound, superhero as corrupted masculine ideal is and how characters going down that path is dull and uninspired. Yes, certain characters work better with a more visceral violence and a grounded world, like the Punisher, Daredevil, the Question and Invincible, but how seriously did you really take the Blade films? Do you want a Blade series where everyone is treating the existence of vampires as a serious issue that needs to be dealt with, or one where people make Buffy jokes? I thought so. Just look at the current states of the Marvel and DC film "universes"; Marvel is fun, light and serious only when it serves the story, DC treats everything as being SO IMPORTANT YOU GUYS, PAY ATTENTION TO HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS! Was there really anything worth getting invested in in any of the DC films other than Wonder Woman and SHAZAM!?

Look, I get it, we want the media and characters we love to grow up with us, but there are more and better ways to do that than to resort to swearing, blood and sex. Just look at Civil War or Black Panther, two thought-provoking films with complex ideas and emotional themes that still kept things fun, and neither is R-rated. I'd go so far as to argue that the best superhero films are actually the ones that embrace the fun and delight of the comics, rather than going for an "adult" tone; Superman: The Movie, The Incredibles, Black Panther, The Avengers, the list goes on. The only real exceptions would be Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, neither of which actually leans too heavily on the violence and sex, but focus on character and philosophy. I'd argue that The Dark Knight isn't even really a superhero film, but that's a whole other thing I'll get to later. To sum up, can we (and by "we" I mean adult, male, comic fans) please stop pretending that every adaptation of the comics we love would be "better" if it pandered to our basest wants? We know better than that. Now, I'm going to go watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 again.

Superhero Media: Transformers Prime

Like everyone of a certain generation, I grew up watching Transformers and playing with the toys. Like many favourites of childhood, when I want back to try and watch the classic series, I was disappointed with the reality of 25-minute toy commercials that were more interested in merchandise than telling good stories. I've also been watching the recent series of Transformers films, which are not good, so I wanted to try and find some kind of Transformers media that was worth watching. I reached out to a fiend who is a big fan of Transformers and he recommended Transformers Prime, saying it was probably the best version of the programme out there. I was still wary, but gave it a go anyway; Transformers Prime is pretty damn amazing, with a strong story, well-written characters and the main drive of the narrative changes each season to keep things fresh. Peter Cullen and Frank Welker return to their iconic roles and the whole series is simply engaging in the way a lot of children's television fails to be for adults. 

The set-up is essentally the same as it always is, the Autobots and Decepitcons come to Earth after Cybertron was destroyed in their war and hostilities renew. Where Transformers Prime differentiates itself is in the smaller cast than normal, the main Autobots for the first half of the series are Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Ratchet and Arcee. Along with the Autobots, there are three teenagers, Jack, Miko and Raf, who provide the human element for the series. As much as the humans are typically the least engaging part of any Transformers series, Jack, Miko and Raf are really interesting in their own rights, help out more than they hinder the Autobots and each have a special relationship with a particular Autobot that really drives character development. There's something about Transformers Prime that makes it come across, to me, at least, as an adaptation of someone's, really awesome, Transformers role playing campaign. Each player gets an Autobot and a human and occasionally an NPC does something awesome, mostly Optimus Prime.
 

There's more than just Autobots and Decepticons at war in Transformers Prime, the FBI are involved, as well as a few independent Cybertronians and a clandestine cult of Xenophobes. Much of the second season is taken up with a quest for several Cybertronian artifacts that could change the course of the war, culminating in Optimus Prime finding the Autobot equivalent of Excalibur and cutting through a goddamned mountain. To add more believable conflict to the war, there are disposable Decpticon minions and the Autobots suffer losses and reversals, rather than just winning all of the time. Characters grow, change and suffer in a way that most children's television doesn't bother to do, Transformers Prime really does reach higher than the rest of the franchise and is well worth your time. I never thought I would really care about these characters, but that's all changed and now I'm browsing eBay for toys to convert into wargames miniatures.

Miniatures Finished: Hell Duke and Friends

Finding it more fun to work on "teams" of villains rather than individuals of late, so here is Doctor Plokta and his Mindless Ones. 

 There wasn't a Heroclix take on Plokta, so I had to come up with something. 

 Was very happy when the Mindless Ones came together in a single painting session.

 Plotka is a Reaper Bones Water Elemental with added "head" and a heavy wash. The effect looks better in person.