Superhero Media: Rampage

Several friends were really keen on Rampage and kept hassling me to see it, but I never seemed to get the chance. When I finally go to it, I found Rampage fairly underwhelming, as I've never played the games and was just hoping for some Kaiju action, but what I got was a whole load of Rock and only the one monster fight. Not that there isn't a lot of fun stuff in the film, but I was in the headspace for Kaiju so Rampage couldn't help but disappoint. The opening, with a lone woman running from an (unseen) mutant rat through a space station is really well put together and quite tense, in fact, the tense scenes work well, like later when Ralph (giant mutant wolf) is picking off a team of mercenaries in the woods, but most of the "big" monster action leaves something to be desired. I'm not sure I buy the Rock as former special forces soldier/park ranger/bounty hunter turned zookeeper Davis Okoye, as he may be a competent actor, but basically only has one "action" mode. Compared to Jeffery Dean Morgan, playing Agent Russell, the Rock just doesn't seem to be having as much fun in the role as the premise would demand. 

What Rampage reminded me of most was the Transformers films, with the emphasis on military technology and what seems to be a lack of good ideas as to what to do with the actual monsters people turned up to see. Not that I expected Rampage to be Shin Godzilla or anything, but was Kong Skull Island too much to ask? I'm pretty sure only two helicopters get trashed, nowhere near enough. Though there is a cool bit where the Rock uses a broken helicopter to break his fall from a collapsing building, which is pretty neat. I guess if I'm grading on a curve for being a "video game movie", Rampage is actually pretty good, but when do we stop expecting these game adaptations to be lesser, and demand the same quality we get from comic book films? I still think the first Tomb Raider and Resident Evil are perfectly serviceable and will keep defending Street Fighter as a fun romp; not everything is the animated Donkey Kong Country film, you know? 

So what does really work in Rampage? Well, the size of the Kaiju is nice for gaming. Seriously, some larger animal action figures and model kits are pretty affordable around the 12 to18 inch mark and would sit well next to 28mm miniatures. My Gamera is around that size (he's 15mm if we're getting technical) and "looks" about right on the table. The Godzilla I've been eyeing off is a little taller and would probably be around perfect. Of course, I've seen Kaiju played at 10mm and 40mm, and most of mine aim for 6mm, so what you can afford and store is up to you, but I like a couple of big nasties to really give the "wow" factor for display games. Warmachine and D&D Miniatures have a nice giant Crocodile and Wolf respectively, and a few places do large apes in toy lines, so putting together a Rampage set would be pretty easy if that's your bag. For me, it's off to find more suitable Godzilla and Gamera Kaiju. 

Miniatures Finished: Twin Moons

Been a little while thanks to getting Nocturnal together, but finally finished up a few more minis. Nothing in particular, other than finally getting to my own MCP collection, just what came to hand after moving house.

The Leader: A little odd that I hadn't yet got to this iconic Hulk villain yet, especially because I go through big Silver Age patches in my painting. Orange and blue is always fun to paint though. Heroclix

Moon Knight: I wasn't happy with my old one, so I got a new Moon Knight, really happy with how the white turned out on this one, wish I could get results this good consistently. Heroclix

Paralax: It may be telling that I read comics in the '90s, as this is probably my favourite costume for Hal Jordan. It just oozes power and strength and I'd love to see it return when Hal wasn't possessed by a fear parasite. Heroclix

Moon Knight: My first MCP model, obtained when a friend wanted to split the Blade out of the box. A lot nicer than the starter box ones I did for work, but the white isn't as nice as my Heroclix version. Atomic Mass Games

Zubatman: In an alternate reality, Bruce Wayne defends Fuchsia City from Team Rocket as the Dark Knight, Zubatman! This was a joke I made once on Facebook and could never get out of my head, because it just gets better the deeper you dive. Typically used as a Daredevil stand-in for MCP. Converted Heroclix

Yamcha: Ordered this thinking it was 28mm, but turns out it was scaled for MCP, so he got done up as a proxy, usually Iron Fist or Wong for my Defenders. Fantastic model to paint and really happy with the result, big recommend for their service and STLs. damange83

Danton - Part IV

You know, when I started writing these up again, I really had no idea just how much of it there was. I mean, I wrote this all in a few dull History lessons in 2004, that's long enough ago that it's pretty fuzzy for me, so I guess I suspected I didn't do all that much of this? And we're only halfway, well halfway-ish, so I hope you're not as sick of this as I'm getting.


Danton 4: Napoleon Ball Z

While Danton and company were defeating Robespierre in Otherworld, France was conquered by Napoleon, through an alliance with Chewbacca and his army of lawyers. Napoleon became Emperor by finding the Lance of Longinus and forging a series of rings. Now he seeks to become immortal by finding the Dragon Balls; to achieve this he dispatches Inspector Clouseau. Meanwhile Blanka/Danton returns from Otherworld, when he sees what has happened to France, he travels to Paris and challenges Napoleon to single combat, be prize being leadership of France. With the powers of the Lance of Longinus and the One Ring, Napoleon could easily defeat Blanka/Danton, but instead prolongs the combat, making a fool of Blanka/Danton before blasting him to Russia with the Kamehameha technique.

Burning for revenge, Blanka/Danton seeks out allies to fight Napoleon; he stumbles upon Simon Schama, who has led the Mongolians to victory across Asia, forging a massive empire. After striking a deal, Schama dispatches Sniper Wolf to assassinate Clouseau; he fails miserably and is killed by Link. Schama's army marches across Europe, making allies against France. In fear, Napoleon visits a coven of witches, who tell him that "No man of a woman born" can kill him. Now over-confident, Napoleon leaves his army to its own devices, awaiting the final battle in his Volcano Death Fortress.

Without their leader, the French army is quickly defeated by Schama's hardened veterans. Blanka/Danton and Schama confront Napoleon, unfortunately Clouseau has returned with all of the Dragon Balls. Napoleon wishes himself immortal and proceeds to brutally kill Blanka/Danton. Despite his advanced battle-armour, Schama looks doomed, until, at the last minute, Doctor Strange returns from the Hell Dimension in which he was trapped. Strange opens a Dead Zone into which Napoleon is drawn and sealed forever. Schama and Doctor Strange establish democratic rule in France.

The Pitch: Super Smash Brothers

I was watching the new Jumanji films recently, the ones with The Rock and Karen Gillian, and an idea hit me. The framework of "we got sucked into a video game" isn't wholly original, having been used at least as far back as the original Battletoads and Tron, but it is oddly underused in a world where video games are a massive industry and trying to adapt them to film is a constant challenge. Way back in my "Nintendo Movies" article, sometime in 2022 if I'm not mistaken, rather than pitch specific films, I more generally discussed the idea of Nintendo multimedia and what that could potentially look like. This time around, though, I have something more akin to The Pitch which I haven't done for a while, based on, of all Nintendo series, Super Smash Bros.

Super Smash Brothers

Trapped in a world they didn't create, four friends have to work together to harness the powers of their favourite Nintendo characters to escape and save the universe.

The Idea

Ok, we're not pretending that this is anything other than doing Tron or Jumanji -Welcome to the Jungle with the expansive Smash Bros. roster, but that doesn't mean it can't be fun or clever. Get celebrity actors to do the voice of various characters, Sigourney Weaver as Samus, Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu, Cary Elwes as Marth, that kind of thing. Put some proven writers on the job, this isn't Citizen Kane or anything, workmen will do. The story involves four young people, probably in high school, getting trapped in a video game, how isn't super important, and the game turns out to run essentially along the lines of World of Light and/or Shadow Emissary. Why not just make a film out of Shadow Emissary, because that's what people will be asking for anyway? Well, because that's not how the industry works and I don't think we can sell a franchise film with no dialogue.

How it works

The gimmick of this whole concept is, of course, getting a cast of popular characters together to bounce jokes around and have cool fights, the plot is almost secondary, with the players needing to get from A to B through a series of iconic Nintendo locations and beat the final boss, who may be Gaalem or Light or whoever, maybe someone new? Given that the Smash series has a massive roster now, there should probably be some kind of "character randomisation" problem going on preventing the "players" from picking their mains and letting us rotate through more characters. For example, having a scene where someone is stuck as Jigglypuff and learns how to do the instant-KO, or wobbling with the Ice Climbers or complains about Hero being broken are the kind of little things that should probably go in there for fans, but not be major plot-points.

In the finale, of course, the issue is fixed and the players get their mains and work together to win out, go home and we have a sequel tease. Again, nothing complicated, as much of the entertainment and humor comes from things like seeing Warrior and Megaman have to team up to take down King Dedede or something like that. In fact, some kind of World of Light system where the players have to unlock characters by defeating them could be good if not overdone. Naturally, in the end, the players mains are characters that predominantly feature in the Smash Bros series, rather than being popular in their own right, like Captain Falcon and the Ice Climbers, mostly because you kind of want to keep your powder dry on IPs like Zelda and Metroid, giving the lesser-knowns time to shine.

Just for Fun

Now, if it were me in charge of all this, I'd be working close with Nintendo and planning for the film to be released at a very specific time. Much like the 1990s 'classic' The Wizard, our Smash Bros film will be the global reveal for the next game. I'm seeing this take the shape of being a new character available in the final battle that has never been in a Smash game before, and then a full trailer post-credits like at the end of No Way Home. Of course, that's a huge ask and may not happen, but I figure if we're already talking about making a big-budget Smash Bros film, then why not shoot for the moon? The character should be Dixie Kong as well, because I said so.

Danton - Part III

That's right! We're not done with this nonsense yet. In fact, this marks the halfway point of the Danton saga, a mostly nonsense story I wrote in my final year of High School and found when moving house. Whilst this story is pretty poor by my current standards, I like to think I can see shades of Ultimate Alliance and other projects in how I went about this all those years ago.

Robespierre: Master of Otherworld

Simon Schama's army of Battletoads has splintered after their defeat at the hands of Danton and Doctor Strange. The new French army, led by Chewbacca and make up entirely of Lawyers, has confined the undead army of Zombie Jesus to the area of Brittany. Dracula, Doctor Strange and the Last Ninja have disappeared off the face of the Earth. Unbeknownst to everyone else, our heroes have been transported to Otherworld by the ghost of Danton in the hopes that they can help defeat Robespierre and restore balance to the multiverse. Robespierre gathers his greatest warriors for the Mortal Kombat tournament; Blanka, Pope John Paul II and evil mutant Toad.

In a Martial Arts battle greater than anyone has ever seen before or since, Dracula brutally slays Blanka using his Dragon Fist technique. After a pitched battle, Pope John Paul II banishes Doctor Strange to a Hell Dimension. Last Ninja uses his cool headband thingy attack to simultaneously defeat both Toad and Pope John Paul II. In the final battle, Robespierre destroys destroys Dracula by driving a stake through his heart. It looks as if the Last Ninja will be defeated as well, until Danton's soul enters Blanka's body and the pair utilise the "Two-fisted Monkey Style" to finally kill Robespierre. Just as Last Ninja and Blanka/Danton turn to leave Otherworld, Robespierre springs up in a dying effort and grabs the Last Ninja, dragging them both into a lava pit. A distraught Blanka/Danton returns to France.

Superhero Media: Pokemon Detective Pikachu

Given how much buzz there was about Pokemon Detective Pikachu around the time it came out, the fact that it is essentially never spoken about now outside of Pokemon TCG players is frankly bizarre. I'm not super up to date on the Pokemon games, having dropped off after the Red/Blue era and only played a little of a couple of others, but one of the strongest elements of the franchise is the depth and richness of the setting, even if it doesn't always hold up to close scrutiny. As someone who is not a super fan of Pokemon, the best part of Detective Pikachu is still how it makes a real world populated by real people and plenty of pokemon running around doing their thing. To my recollection, none of my favorite "team of six" pokemon are even in the film (Venusaur, Beedrill, Fearow, Nidoking, Raihcu, Cloister), but I get a little thrill seeing some of what's there. I love the little Joltics scampering around on electrical equipment and the Bulbasaur sequence was enough to even get my mother to sit and watch a bit as she passed through the room. I'd prefer if Mewtwo was less... fleshy? But he still looks pretty great in the action sequences. 

Oh yeah, almost forgot, Detective Pikachu is a sequel to Mewtwo Strikes Back, that's some Unbreakable/Split level callback right there. Sure, the only character that crosses over is Mewtwo, but that's the upside of a cinematic universe, not every character needs to be in every film for it all to be linked; sadly this means Ash is out there somewhere, but maybe we'll get lucky and see Jessie and James in the future? The ending of Detective Pikachu leaves a bit to be desired, with the wrap-up being overly convenient and the lack of a decent pokemon battle disappointing. Even when watching it in the cinema, I kind of assumed that the human/pokemon that our protagonists had met along the way would team up to take on Mewtwo, but it never happened for some reason? Seems like a missed opportunity. I know that too much violence would boots up the rating, but what's Pokemon without the battling? Hopefully any other films in the series will remedy that somewhat. At it's core though, Detective Pikachu is a buddy cop comedy/coming of age film, and on that score, it really delivers.  

Plenty of films have done the "interrogate the mime" scene, but I don't recall any having done it quite as well as Detective Pikachu, putting a shockingly dark twist on it for a family film. Ryan Reynolds may actually be a comic genius, as there seems to be no one he can't bounce a scene or joke off, not that Justice Smith is any slouch either, doing great straight man work and still making his presence known, not an easy task. Hell, Bill Nighy is in this film and he's, at best, the third most interesting actor, what a cast! I was really hoping that Detective Pikachu would smash some records, not just because I enjoyed it, but because I want to see more films in the Pokemon universe. There is so much richness and variety to be had in the setting that to not use it seems like a waste of great IP, even outside of the game narratives, which can be a little obtuse at times. Seriously, if you're not a fan, look up the Uknowns sometime, strange stuff. Even with the weirdest stuff put aside, however, there is a world of stories to be had in the Pokemon world, and hopefully we'll get to see some more before too long.

Danton - Part I

Whilst moving house recently, I came across some pages of loose leaf I've saved since my final year of high school. They contain a silly little story I wrote while bored in class one week and I just never seemed to throw them out for some reason. Reading over them again, I found that in these silly stories is something of the origin of some of my approach to gaming storytelling as it is nearly two decades hence. So for a little bit, I'll be writing up the story, which spins out of a synopsis of the first part of the 1983 film Danton, it's very silly and rather juvenile, and I've only edited the spelling mistakes and worst grammar, so maybe come back next week if you were hoping for anything more meaningful.


Danton

During the Terror, Robespierre and the Committee struggle to maintain control over the masses. Danton, the Great Orator, and his followers seek to overthrow the Committee and end the Terror. Robespierre seeks to imprison Danton without inciting a popular uprising. Danton allows himself to be imprisoned to further his cause. Some of Danton's followers turn against him. Robespierre decides to release the Sentinels to quell the mutant menace. The Justice League break Danton out of gaol and give him the armor of "La Dynamo Tricolore". Dracula seizes control of the Committee and reactivates Voltron, making the Marquis de Condorcet Voltron Commander. Seeking revenge, Robespierre allies himself with The Iron Paw, a coalition of werewolves. Gamera is awakening from his hibernation imposed by Doctor Strange, who has repaired Gundam Wing Zero.

When Gamera awakens, he goes on a rampage in Paris, Dracula sends Voltron to stop him. A team of Werewolf-hunting Ninja attack the Iron Paw, who are actually evil and trying to release a Storm Elemental into the world. In a pitched battle all the Werewolves and Ninja, bar a single Ninja, are killed. The last Ninja swears to hunt down and kill Robespierre, who has gone to Otherworld to fight in the Mortal Kombat tournament. A pair of Japanese fae turn Danton into a giant badger to battle Gamera and Voltron. During the battle, Voltron accidentally destroys Master Mould's holding cell and it attempts to destroy all humans in Paris. Doctor Strange arrives in Gundam Wing Zero and destroys Master Mould with his Beam Cannon. Voltron kills Badger Danton but is destroyed by Gamera, who leaves mysteriously with Doctor Strange.

Miniatures Finished - 01/11/21

I rarely feel like I get to paint what I want to right now, more that I'm painting little projects constantly to get them finished. That's not strictly true, but that's kind of how I'm feeling about painting. Does mean some older things are getting finished though, which I guess is nice.

Astro Boy: A character I've wanted for a while finally joins the Ultimate Alliance! I'll have to borrow the complete 1980s series off a friend again for a "Superhero Media" at some stage. 3D Print.

Kirby Robobot: Remember my other Kirby being a little big? Well this one is pretty much bang-on for scale, which is nice, but now I need to find one not in the suit. Still, this was adorable and I couldn't pass it up. Toy.

Crazy Jane: I bought up the rest of the Doom Patrol that I didn't already own and I wanted to experiment with a new technique for painting black, so this was something of a perfect storm. Heroclix.

Count Vertigo: I actually had this model partially painted for years and got so sick of looking at it, I finished him in one sitting. The sculpt is terrible and not at all fun to paint. Heroclix.

Awesome A-Bomb: I wanted this character for a specific reason, but right now I have no idea what that was. This is a really nice sculpt and was pretty fun and quick to paint. Heroclix.

Kaine: Obscure Spider-Man antagonist for my Spider-Man game series, this is actually a nice little sculpt except the face. Fun, '90s colour scheme as well. Heroclix.

The Pitch: The Legend of Zelda - Hero of Time

Ok, so last time we covered just why two Legend of Zelda games from the 2000s are still on my mind way too often more than twenty years later, now let's get to the real meat of what I wanted to say. Up until Tears of the Kingdom, Zelda titles really didn't have direct sequels to speak of, so although I've wanted a third installment for the Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask series, I've never dared to hope much and kept my ideas for how I would write such a game pretty private. Even though I've had a title in mind for almost all that time.

The Legend of Zelda: Hero of Time

Ok, first things first, this is pretty much pure fantasy, even more so than my usual "The Pitch" articles. As a published author, it's not inconceivable that something I write one day will get big and I end up doing more professional writing, which could include film work. It's really fucking unlikely, I'll admit, but not utterly impossible. Writing a major Nintendo release however? Yeah, good luck. I'm not here to cirticise Nintendo's fan-management, but given that I'm not a Japanese games developer already, let's just say they're not interested in anything I have to say, or ever will. Which is fine, I doubt too many hardcore Zelda fans will like my take on this anyway.

As my background is in prose and not really interactive media, I'm working with a three-act structure for Hero of Time, because, honestly, it's a good way to build a story, for almost every medium. For the fans in the gods, this will be a direct sequel to Majora's Mask, with the Link featured being the very same, though now-adult (or late teens, really), and having essentially continued running for the intervening years. This Link is still haunted by his past, but not to the "brutal and damaged" state, this is a Legend of Zelda game, we're keeping things PG. We'll break it down more below, but the three acts are essentially, 'The Journey Home', 'Saving Hyrule' and 'The Dark World'. Although, being a video game, players can wander back and forth pretty much at will, the idea is to delineate each act visually as well as geographically.

I actually like a good opening cinematic, so we'll be going all-out for Hero of Time, with a voice-over from Zelda explaining the history of Link, how he traveled through time to save Hyrule, but couldn't just be a child again and left, saving Termina on his way out into the world. But the evil didn't stay sealed, leaking into the land slowly as the years crept by, the Sages not even noticing until it was too late. Queen Zelda took it upon herself to battle the darkness, but was lost in the wastes West of Hyrule. In desperation, the remaining sages sent out the fairy, Navi, to seek the long-lost Hero of Time. Opening credits.

The game begins in a small coastal village, deliberately reminiscent of Windwaker but not specifically anywhere from the game, as we're not tying directly into anything other Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask. Navi finds a now-adult link wandering the shore and has to convince him to return to Hyrule to help Zelda, which he is reluctant to do at first, trauma being like that and all. Of course Link agrees in the end and the reunited companions have to head back to Hyrule. As this version of Link is by now a seasoned adventurer, he'll actually be starting out with some equipment, rather than having to gather it as he normally does. Nothing special, just a sword, shield, bow and bomb bag, everything else will come over the course of the adventure. The first part of the game is a mountain range that Link has to cross, basically it's a chance to learn the controls, try out the equipment and gather a few Heart Containers, but it will also discourage players from wandering back to the first town, as there's not all that much there to see.

Link emerges from the mountains in northern Termina, we get a nice sweeping shot of the HD version of the landscape which, yes, will be bigger and more detailed than it was in Majora's Mask, this is a sequel, not a remake. Before he can move into Hyrule, Link has to revisit some of the important locations in Termina, find some treasures and help people out, places like the Great Bay, Clock Town and the Moon. Again, this isn't a remake, so it's not the same dungeons and quests as Majora's Mask, but we get to see the characters of the games ten or so years on like we did in Ocarina of Time. This section of the game will be substantial, with Link needing to get some items, defeat some bosses and getting his hands on the Ocarina of Time, with which (and the Song of Soaring) introduces our fast travel mechanic. If, at this stage, the player can be bothered returning on foot to the starting area, there will be a nice little bonus, like some equipment or a new mask.

What's that? Yeah, we're doing masks again. Not to a Majora's Mask extent, but some old favorites like the Bunny Hood, Deku Mask and even the Fierce Deity and Majora's Masks will pop up, but more on them later. After gathering what he needs from Termina, Link can depart to the next area of the game, and the next act, Hyrule. Much like in Ocarina of Time, Hyrule is a nightmare kingdom of darkness and monsters, with the few living survivors hiding in towns and settlements. From townsfolk and people from his past, Link uncovers information about what has happened; a new dark force came from the Desert, Zelda went to fight it and was never seen again. No one knows anything specific, but the Sages, when Link finds them, push him to get the Master Sword and go confront the evil, rescue the Queen, etc. Some of the Sages are in or near the Ocarina of Time dungeons, but the player doesn't need to clear all of them again, maybe just the good ones for fun, though with some expanded sequences.

What Link really needs to recover the Master Sword is, of course, the three Spiritual Stones, so it's off to the Great Deku Tree, Dododongo's Cavern and Zora's Domain (Jabujabu is dead from the pollution, so I'm guessing Ruto hid it in the Ice Cavern or Water Temple). Each of these locations will be reminiscent of how they appeared in Ocarina of Time, but still very different, remember, this is not a remake. There will be a dream sequence, however, after Link has found the Spiritual Stones that takes the player through a full 64-bit dungeon made up of iconic bits of Ocarina of Time, just as a nice bit of fan-service, though it dumps Link in the Temple of Time and he can finally pull the Master Sword. Also in terms of fan-service, the various songs from Ocarina of Time will mostly still work, and if the player can figure them out without Link "learning" them, they work. Like the magic spells in the old Ultima games.

Finally, Link can head into the Haunted Wasteland to confront the great evil that is destroying Hyrule. He finds that the Gerudo Fortress has been destroyed and all the Gerudo killed, probably being told this by the ghost of Nabooru, and the wasteland is now more reminiscent of the Dark World from Link to the Past, a surreal nightmare of darkness more so than a traditional landscape. In this section of the game, Link will pretty much be battling nasty monsters, finding the last few items he needs to complete the game and clearing a couple of dungeons to make his way to the final boss. This is probably where he finds things like Majora's Mask and the Gold Bracers, really building up that Link is about to take on the biggest foe he's ever faced. This section of the game should ideally be pretty difficult, at least for a Zelda game, though there's a Great Fairy's Fountain just before the Boss, so that players can go in at full health, and probably with Nayrue's Love now in their arsenal.

Can't really go any further with this without dropping the big reveal; the villain is Princess Zelda. After ascending to the throne and having the influence to learn more about the Triforce and the whole cosmogonic cycle that she, Ganon and Link are destined to repeat for eternity. Wanting to break that cycle, Zelda used her magic to kill Gannondorf (who has been imprisoned since the end of Ocarina of Time) and steal the Triforce of Power from him. Of course, power corrupts, so it wasn't long before Zelda wanted to get her hands on the Triforce of Courage in Link as well, so she starts to destroy Hyrule to lure the Hero of Time back. In an attempt to subvert the cycle, Zelda has merely shifted her role within it, becoming Ganon while Link remains the hero and someone, probably Saria, Ruto or Nabooru, in the Triforce of Wisdom Role. To finish the game, the player, and Link, have to save Hyrule by killing Princess Zelda.

I'm typically a bit down on massive boss fights in video games, but the Link/Zelda fight should be pretty long and cover multiple parts, just maybe let players save and quit between sections? I don't know why more games don't do that? Link will have to use everything in his arsenal to defeat Zelda, as she's still part good, so the Master Sword doesn't do the full job, and even the Fierce Deity Mask can't quite bring down an sorceress with two Triforce sections. In order to strike the killing blow, Link has only one choice; put on Majora's Mask. Link gets to throw around some serious power for a few rounds with the mask on, but what we're really building to is a sequence where Link, as Majora, has to travel to the moon, meet the Moon Children again, and, tragically, crash the moon into Zelda to kill her. With this act, as well as narratively tying up the previous two games, Link destroys Zelda, the Triforce, and himself, closing the cycle begun in the Deku Tree so many years ago and moving on to the next rotation. Although this is a sad ending, there is reference to games that happen in the "future" of the timeline and reinforcement of the Campbell-esque ideas of mythic cycles at the core of the series.

Hero of Time is a story of gods and epic destiny, but also is very human, with Link's trauma being a big driving force for the narrative as well as the whole mythology thing. In fact, with some clever writing, Link's 'silent protagonist' status could actually be played to make him seen withdrawn and reluctant, rather than just shy. The game echoes both Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, but is it's own thing, think more like the 8-Bit sections and Mushroom Kingdom in Super Mario Odyssey than Kirby's Adventure Wii. And, well, I'm done? I'm not a video game designer, I'm a writer (and psychotherapist and some other stuff), so the above has been an exercise in storytelling, not game design. And also the main point was to get this out of my head where it's been rattling around for a couple of decades. Hope you enjoyed the ride, but it's back to superheroes next time.

Thinking Out Loud: The Hero of Time

Hey there! This is another one of those entries that's not even tangentially about superheroes, just something that's been on my mind that I had to get down somewhere. So sorry, come back next time for something involving capes and tights.

I'm of the age that I owned a Nintendo 64 at the time it was the current generation of console, and would occasionally get games as gifts or whathaveyou. Like many of that age, I fell in love with The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, finishing it many times over; it was actually my first Zelda game, and even to this day the series doesn't feel "right" to me in the classic 2D-style. Sadly, I couldn't afford to do more than borrow a copy of Majora's Mask back in the day, but I made up for it with the 3DS version as an adult. Even now, if I'm sick, or even on holiday, running through Ocarina and Majora is a good way to spend my time.

Oddly, these games have actually gotten better as I've gotten older. I mean, I don't think there was stuff there that only came to light later, more that, having done degrees in English Literature and Film Studies, my critical faculties have greatly increased and I can see more in the narratives than I could when I was a literal child. Themes like loss of childhood, inevitability and the need to find closure permeate Ocarina of Time, which is part of the reason it still resonates with players decades on.

Majora's Mask is about trauma and grief, right? I don't know if it was a deliberate choice by the makers of the game (given general Japanese cultural attitudes towards Mental Health, I doubt it), but every element of the game is steeped in loss and the pain it brings. The antagonist has been so hurt by the world that he lashes out in an apocalyptic manner as soon as he has the power to do so, the cartoon fantasy equivalent of a school shooter. The game even starts with the bullying victim bullying the next person down the chain (Link, yes that was a pun) because it's the only power dynamic Skull Kid can relate to. Ah, but I hear you say, aren't the majority of school shooters racially motivated? Well, what does Skull Kid do to Link after stealing his horse for a joy ride? He forces a new, "lesser" racial identity on Link, which causes the people of Clock Town to vilify him, refuse him service in shops and basically treat him as a second-class citizen. With the Business Scrubs and the fact that only the local Banker is keen to talk to Deku Link, there's probably an allegorical reading of the European Jewish experience to be had, but we'll leave it at that.

And what of Link? Well, he starts the game running. From what? Here the "nebulous" nature of Zelda cannon can be easy to trip up on, but I tend to see Majora's Mask as the direct sequel to Ocarina of Time. At the end of Ocarina, Link is forced to return to childhood, despite having spent a not-insignificant amount of time as an adult, putting his life on the line to defeat a mad wizard whose evil has literally twisted his childhood home into a place of nightmares. Of course, the world where Ganon has been defeated has no need for Link, and Zelda seems to be working from a framework of compassion in sending him back, but Link has been forever changed and cannot go back to his life of the most bullied Kokuri. How do the Ocarina credits end? With Link running into Zelda's courtyard as a child once more. Whilst there is a perfectly fair romantic reading of Link and Zelda's relationship, I tend to feel that the connection they share through the Triforce is probably deeper than that, given that the three are continually reincarnated to act out the same struggle throughout history. Naturally, the child Zelda is unable to relate to the Link who has been an adult, seen the future and felt the blood of evil men on his hands, so he has lost even that connection and flees Hyrule entirely, searching, perhaps unconsciously, for someone who can relate to his experience.

Meanwhile, back in Termina, Link is stuck in a "Groundhog Day" three-day loop where he can watch those around him go from disbelief to panic to horrific fiery death knowing that he will survive and have to do it all again. And how does Link combat the end of the world? By putting on masks that literally change him into someone equipped to fix the problem, a process that is clearly painful and traumatic, but which Link puts himself through repeatedly to save others. There's probably a D-I-D reading there, but that's way above my Psychotherapist pay grade. Depending on how familiar with Majora's Mask you are, it may take quite a few runs through the last three days of the world for you, though Link, to save it, so just how many times does this poor child who has seen and lived through way too much already see the world end because he failed? Once all the titans are awakened, Link can prevent the moon from hitting Termina and save the world, pretty standard fantasy stuff, really. However, is this allegorical? Is Link really accessing an inner strength, or perhaps building his Maslow's Pyramid? Link leaves Termina at the end of the game, his belongings restored, but how is he psychologically? Is he stronger for what he has gone through, or has this adventure broken him even more?

And where could this lead next? That's a question that has been floating around my brain for years, off and on. Yes, I know about the "Split Timeline" and all that, and I've played other Zelda games, but I want to know what happens to this Link, the one who defeated Ganon and then Majora before wandering off into the dark areas of the map. Well, sorry to say, all this was a lead-in to another one of these speculating on a possible final installment of a trilogy. So keep an eye out for that, sooner rather than later.

Thinking Out Loud: Super Mario Man

Is Super Mario a Superhero? This question has kept popping up for me as I play through Super Mario 3D All-Stars and Super Mario Odyssey during my slow periods between assignments. Part of this is a broader question about weather or not video game characters in general can be considered superheroes. Now, some video games feature characters that are already superheroes from other media, Spider-Man and Batman being perennial favourites, and plenty of games feature original superheroes as their protagonists, the inFamous and Prototype series being examples I've played. But what about other characters that tread the line? Megaman regularly fights for humanity against legions of killer robots, that sounds lot like Magnus, so is Megaman a superhero? What about Samus? We know she's a bounty hunter, but she's also responsible for repeatedly dismantling a large criminal organisation, that's pretty superheroic, like a more mercenary Iron Man. And the big question, what about the granddaddy of the medium, Super Mario?

In most games, Mario has powers and abilities far beyond the people and creatures around him, or at least certainly those we can consider to be native inhabitants (Toads, Luma, etc), which implies some inherent ability that they don't possess. In the old USA continuity, Mario was a human who traveled to the Mushroom Kingdom, providing a kind of "John Carter" explanation for the increased ability, which works and does, indeed, put Mario in that nebulous "hero" area adjacent to characters like Carter and Tarzan. Due to the debatable nature of what can be considered Mario "cannon", there is essentially no real consistency to Mario's abilities, excepting that most outside of the jumping require a kind of external power-up, be it a Mushroom or new kind of hat. Even just sticking to what can be broadly considered the main Mario games, and thereby avoiding any Karts, Parties and/or hotel management, probably the most heroic action Mario engages in is fighting the villain with plans of conquest, which almost works better as a "Knight/Princess/Knave" read than anything superheroic.

All-in, I do not tend to consider Mario a superhero in the same sense that I do characters like Spider-Man and She-Hulk; nor is he as much a superhero in my mind as other video game characters like Ratchet or Captain Falcon. Mario is, essentially, the ur-text of the "Mascot Platformer" genre, so trying to parse his existence within terms of other genres, will always be fraught. There is a reading of Mario as superhero to be had if you really want to find it, as games like Odyssey certainly open that possibility, with the globe-trotting and battling huge bosses, even giving Mario a fantastic vehicle and a sidekick, so if you really want a chubby plumber who jumps high on your team, there's not much to stop you. For myself, I'll be holding off on adding much Mario content beyond my "Melee of Champions" Super Mission Force games, as it doesn't quite gel as well as throwing Ratchet and Clank in with my Guardians of the Galaxy or Solid Snake with my SHIELD forces.

That Time I Made my own Pokemon TCG format

Back when I started working at an FLGS, one of my responsibilities was the Pokémon TCG League. Whilst I've never been too big on Collectable Card Games, I used to have a bit of fun with Pokémon, mostly because the community was a lot of fun and the game had enough depth to be engaging. Like most card games, Pokémon has a rotation, meaning cards are only usable in tournaments and events like League for a couple of years before being replaced by the new ones. In a lot of ways, this approach is advantageous to players, because new cards are easy to find and you avoid the Yu-Gi-Oh issue of cards becoming impossible to get a hold of. The flipside is, of course, players end up with a lot of useless cards on their hands. Back when I was doing this (2010 to 2013ish), aside from the Standard game, there wasn't another way to play Pokémon and use the older cards in the League. Expanded Format was around, but no one really bothered and Unlimited was yet to be birthed officially, but there were some older cards I wanted to get on the table, so I had to have a bit of a think. 

Magic The Gathering already had some other formats going at the time, some of which had started with groups of players putting them together independently, like "Commander", originally called EDH (Elder Dragon Highlander), which put interesting restrictions on deckbuilding, but allowed for a greater depth of cards from older sets. To this end, I set about making a variant of the Pokémon TCG with my friends, both so we could keep using some of the cards we have, but we also wanted to capture more of the "feel" of the video games. We called the resulting format "Pokémon Trainer Battles", and it had a number of issues, but I think it wasn't too bad overall. I think if the idea of something other than Standard had been on the tables, we could have developed it more, but lack of interest made us drop the idea before it went too far. Knowing what I know now, I suspect that we would have had to start banning some cards, but any extended-format card game has that issue. 

First off, Trainer Battles was different in that a "deck" only contained 6 Pokémon and they all started on the field, face down, to better simulate the six Pokeballs carried by trainers in the video games. One was still in the "Active" space, and was revealed after turn order had been decided, but the remaining five on the bench would be hidden at the start. Unlike the normal game, these Pokémon could be at any Stage, not just basics, again in an attempt to simulate the video games. As the Pokémon on the bench were KOed or Switched, they would be flipped up, so your opponent would slowly learn what you had and vice-versa. Pokémon on the Bench could only be damaged by attacks when face up and could only use Abilities when face up, for an added element of risk. So if I was running something like the Serperior with the "Royal Heal" ability, I would have to expose it to risk to gain the benefit it provides. 

The rest of the "deck" that players had also featured a few restrictions; 40 cards rather than 60, and, excepting Basic Energy, in "singleton" format, i.e., one of each card. Unlike in regular games, "decking out" didn't trigger a game loss, as the intention was to emulate "PP" from the video games, but this may have been a mistake, as one player just built an engine to draw his entire deck as fast as possible, due to the lack of a "max hand size" rule in the Pokémon TCG. Me, I focused on recurring my Boost Energy card to drop huge attacks each turn. Energy and Items could still be attached to face-down Pokémon, but players had to declare it, as in "I am attaching a Water Energy to this Pokémon", but we did experiment with options for "hidden" attachment. Of course, some cards, like Rare Candy and Devolution Spray were essentially unplayable in Trainer Battles, but this was to be expected, and cards like Computer Search and Red Card became a lot more interesting. 

So was Trainer Battles a "failure"? Yes and no. We abandoned it because it didn't catch on, but we also really didn't put enough effort into it either. Thinking about this all these years later, I can see some fun that could be had with the format and, if I still had any physical cards, might put together a couple of decks to test out. Some cards would certainly need to be banned (anything that returned Active Pokémon to hand for example), but the opportunities to try out new combinations and give old cards new life would be good to see in the Pokémon TCG, which doesn't have all that much variation currently. The only format of Magic The Gathering I play is Commander, precisely because I don't need more than one or two new cards with each new set and even an entire new deck can be pretty affordable, so something more like that for Pokémon would be very much of interest to me. Feedback welcome on this one, folks. 

Superhero Media: Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn

I waited a while for the price to come down on this one, and I'm glad I did, because as good as Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn is, it's pretty short, I cleared the main adventure in a few hours. When the fiendish sorcerer, Yin-Yarn, escapes from his own universe into Dream Land, he begins to turn everyone and everything into yarn in a bid to conquer the world. Naturally, Kirby steps in to aid the situation, but once his is also turned into yarn, Kirby is unable to use his inhale ability and is quickly defeated. Now in the textile-themed "Patch Land", Kirby befriends Prince Fluff, the displaced ruler and the pair embark upon an adventure of freeing Patch Land from evil and collecting furniture. Yes, the collectable element of the game is furniture, with which Kirby can decorate his Patch Land apartment, a part of the game I didn't really care for, though that may have something to do with the touch-interface of the 3DS not being something I like using for precision work. 

The aesthetics of Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn (yarn instead of wool for the pun value) are probably the best part of the experience, with everything looking like an arts and crafts project, complete with bottle caps, paper clips and the collectable being beads rather than stars. Instead of inhaling opponents, Kirby lassos them with some of the yarn he's made up of, which makes for rather unique game-play in the series, but there are still powers, most of which are reminiscent of previous entries. Probably my favourite little flourish of Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn is the new dash mechanic, in which Kirby transforms into a little car, beeps twice, and is harder to steer; it's cute and exactly the kind of detail that makes a Kirby game endearing. Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn is among the easiest Kirby games I've played, with the challenge being pretty flat except for a few massive spikes, which kind of bugged me as I was playing the game pretty casually and wasn't expecting them. The bonus "Devilish" levels vary in difficulty from absurdly easy to brutally punishing with no real indication or reason, so I haven't played a lot of them. 

So why isn't Prince Fluff in Kirby Star Allies or Smash Bros Ultimate even? He's got an interesting set of moves and transformations, the big mech would work as a Final Smash really well and at least it wouldn't be another JRPG or Mario character on the roster. Is it to do with rendering the whole Yarn thing? This game was pretty popular, but aside from demands for more knitted Amiibos, I don't really see a call for Patch Land to return in any fashion, which is a shame, at least the progression of the game wasn't the typical Dream Land fare that has become pretty familiar to fans of the series. I'd still say I was disappointed overall with Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn, but there is stuff there that I want to see more of in later Kirby games, and not just a setting that I'm not already familiar with. I don't know, I get the feeling that the Kirby franchise has all of the pieces for an amazing "Triple A" style game that is engaging and story-driven whilst still being approachable for younger players, if Nintendo and Hal really committed to it, but only time will tell if that's one dream that can come true.

Miniatures Finished: 01/04/20

Three heroes and three villains finished means my painting must be going alright, a good balance, you know? These were finished during the COVID-19 Pandemic, a period in which I was pretty prolific at the painting table, but not so much for superheroes.

Demogorgon: This bendy-plastic figure came with a Stranger Things themed D&D starter set I brought for work, but never used, and even after undercoat, varnish and hairspray, still flexes easily when held. Hopefully someone gives us a good version in whitemetal or resin at some stage. D&D Miniatures. 

Solomon Grundy: I've had this figure painted for years, but when I dug it out for my "From the Archives" articles, I wasn't happy with it, so he got a repaint. Heroclix. 

The Untitled Goose: After playing Untitled Goose Game, I knew I had to get a version of the protagonist in miniature. In games, the Goose won't so much be a playable character as it will be a GM or AI controlled piece that harries anything near it, maybe makes off with objectives. Converted Eureka. 

Rash: I'm steadily adding more video game characters to my roster thanks to the efforts of people online and friends with 3D printers. Whilst Rash and Battletoads weren't high on my list of stuff to add, I kind of didn't want to pass it over. 3D Print 

The Shadow: I told you he'd be back, cape now fixed. Reaper Bones 

Human Torch: After putting this figure up in my "From the Archives" entries, I decided a 20-odd year old paint job needed updating. Heroclix.

From the Archives - 19

Ok, I think this should be the last one for a while. It's amazing how long it took to catalog all of the supers minis I have, I really need a better system for storing them so that I can keep track of what's where.

Venom: I may really not be a fan of the character, but if you have Spider-Man you need the iconic villains. This version has a good presence and size for a very '90s look. Heroclix. 

Mister Hyde: Last of my League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, the outsize top-hat leans Hyde towards the film rather than the comic, but I love the character of the piece. Wyrd. 

Mk I Iron Man: I wasn't going to have too many different Iron Man suits but I opened this one in a booster and couldn't resist painting it up. Heroclix. 
 

Kyurem: I think this figure came in a box of cards I bough back when I ran Pokemon League at work? I know it was a while ago because of the square base, from a short-lived Dungeon Crawl project. Toy. 

Thor: Before the MCU film, there was only a couple of looks to choose from for Thor, so I went with this more armored version, which I still really like, though most people aren't big fans. Heroclix. 

Rhino: Pretty sure this is one of the oldest Heroclix I own, in that it was part of my original collection, back when I played. The paint work on it is pretty old too, I probably should update it. Heroclix. 

From the Archives - 11

One day I really need to sort all of my figure cases containing superheroes, so that there's some order to them. Not sure what that order would be, though.

Harley Quinn: What can I say? I'm a sucker for the classic costume, having grown up with Batman the Animated Series. This is a fun sculpt of Harley, who has quite a few nice minis to choose from for your own collection. Heroclix. 

Magnazone: Not sure where this one came from, but it was my first attempt at completely repainting one of these Pokemon toys. Pretty sure it's an Electric/Metal type? Toy. 

Scarecrow: In a world of wargamers where everyone wants a version of Scarecrow from the Arkham Asylum video game, I like mine to look like a lunatic in a bad scarecrow costume. It's an ascetic. Heroclix. 
 

Kraven the Hunter: Got to have a Sinister Six if you have a Spider-Man, right? Not the best sculpt of Kraven available, but the sense of movement is pretty good. Heroclix. 

Joker: I'm really more of a fan of the "Clown Prince of Crime" than the "Smiling Psychopath" persona of the Joker, which I feel this sculpt reflects really well. Heroclix. 

Deadshot: Why go for a guy holding a gun, when he could have two guns on his wrist? Silver Age Deadshot has such an iconic look and I just couldn't pass it up. Heroclix. 

From the Archives - 9

Lead Capes will be moving to Tuesday and Friday posting for the time being.

I'm writing this in late March 2020, just as my State Government is about to put us all on lock down for coronavirus. I'm putting that here because I want to look back when it's all over and remember that I kept busy, even if it was just adding to the endless backlog for this blog.

Piloswine: I'm not sure where this one came from, can't remember buying it at all. I really don't even have much idea which game this Pokemon is from. It's an Ice type, I think? Toy. 

Roselia: From watching the anime and playing the games, you'd be forgiven for forgetting that most Pokemon are quite small. Not including the rock she's sitting on, Roselia is around 4mm tall. Toy. 

Leafeon: Another "Eevelution", this one after the application of a Leaf Stone. Toy.

Trapster: AKA "Paste Pot Pete", I first came across this character in late 1990s Spider-Man comics, where he has a completely different look and is trying to get himself back together to go straight. I really like that interpretation of the character and hope I can find the matching figure at some stage. Heroclix. 

Glaceon: Is there an Ice Stone? Is that how this one works? I'm not sure, as my days of keeping up with Pokemon games are long gone. Toy. 

Whirlwind: A classic Marvel villain for those who grew up watching the 1990s Iron Man cartoon on the "Marvel Hour of Power". Sure, he's usually more competent than that cartoon would have indicated, but still a nice punching bag for many heroes. 

From the Archives - 8

Some of these miniatures have been in my collection so long, I'm honestly shocked that I have no pictures of them anywhere.

Swamp Thing: Swamp Thing is one of the earliest comics I can remember reading, I'd like to know where my parent's got some copies, but I don't think I understood what they were about until years later. Heroclix. 

Leafeon: The last of the three "Eevees" in the vending machine capsule I picked up years ago. I wish I could find more of these 1/43 Pokemon, they're perfectly scaled for Heroic 28mm. Toy. 

Destiny: One of the Villain Teams I went to work on pretty early was the Brotherhood of Mutants, because I had quite a few left from my days of playing Heroclix. Destiny was a good piece in the early game, so I had a few of her. Heroclix. 
 

Snowflame: Like many, I discovered obscure DC Villain Snowflame, the man powered by cocaine, through the Linkara review of a New Guardians comic. He's become a bit of a meme since then, but a cocaine-powered villain with some of the best insane dialogue in comics is pretty much a must-have. Converted Heroclix. 

Mysterio: Despite being a huge Spider-Man fan, it's taken me a while to get some of his more sinister foes onto the table. That said, Mysterio did see play in one of my first display games, using his powers to keep the heroes flummoxed. Heroclix.

Two-Face: One of my favouite Batman villains, Two-Face was an early paintjob for me, though he's had the odd update here and there. Again, I'm thinking I should run that No Man's Land campaign to get some of these guys on the table more often.