Superhero Media: Rampage

Several friends were really keen on Rampage and kept hassling me to see it, but I never seemed to get the chance. When I finally go to it, I found Rampage fairly underwhelming, as I've never played the games and was just hoping for some Kaiju action, but what I got was a whole load of Rock and only the one monster fight. Not that there isn't a lot of fun stuff in the film, but I was in the headspace for Kaiju so Rampage couldn't help but disappoint. The opening, with a lone woman running from an (unseen) mutant rat through a space station is really well put together and quite tense, in fact, the tense scenes work well, like later when Ralph (giant mutant wolf) is picking off a team of mercenaries in the woods, but most of the "big" monster action leaves something to be desired. I'm not sure I buy the Rock as former special forces soldier/park ranger/bounty hunter turned zookeeper Davis Okoye, as he may be a competent actor, but basically only has one "action" mode. Compared to Jeffery Dean Morgan, playing Agent Russell, the Rock just doesn't seem to be having as much fun in the role as the premise would demand. 

What Rampage reminded me of most was the Transformers films, with the emphasis on military technology and what seems to be a lack of good ideas as to what to do with the actual monsters people turned up to see. Not that I expected Rampage to be Shin Godzilla or anything, but was Kong Skull Island too much to ask? I'm pretty sure only two helicopters get trashed, nowhere near enough. Though there is a cool bit where the Rock uses a broken helicopter to break his fall from a collapsing building, which is pretty neat. I guess if I'm grading on a curve for being a "video game movie", Rampage is actually pretty good, but when do we stop expecting these game adaptations to be lesser, and demand the same quality we get from comic book films? I still think the first Tomb Raider and Resident Evil are perfectly serviceable and will keep defending Street Fighter as a fun romp; not everything is the animated Donkey Kong Country film, you know? 

So what does really work in Rampage? Well, the size of the Kaiju is nice for gaming. Seriously, some larger animal action figures and model kits are pretty affordable around the 12 to18 inch mark and would sit well next to 28mm miniatures. My Gamera is around that size (he's 15mm if we're getting technical) and "looks" about right on the table. The Godzilla I've been eyeing off is a little taller and would probably be around perfect. Of course, I've seen Kaiju played at 10mm and 40mm, and most of mine aim for 6mm, so what you can afford and store is up to you, but I like a couple of big nasties to really give the "wow" factor for display games. Warmachine and D&D Miniatures have a nice giant Crocodile and Wolf respectively, and a few places do large apes in toy lines, so putting together a Rampage set would be pretty easy if that's your bag. For me, it's off to find more suitable Godzilla and Gamera Kaiju. 

Miniatures Finished: Comrade Dinosaurs

I have been slowly expanding my collection of Bot War miniatures, focusing mainly on my Red Star dinoborgs, because who doesn't love communist dinosaurs? I'm yet to really crack winning with them on the table, but one of my regular Bot War opponents is pretty cutthroat, so maybe it's not all me?

Glorious revolutionary dinosaurs march forth to expand the Warsaw Pact!

Pacheoborgs, hard-headed and tough, but sadly not great in the game. From Trader's Galaxy, of course, but with machine guns from an Osprey sprue.

TREX and the Stegoborg are the backbones of the force, though Rex is a little slow, it is a new army and I have more to figure out.

Danton - Part I

Whilst moving house recently, I came across some pages of loose leaf I've saved since my final year of high school. They contain a silly little story I wrote while bored in class one week and I just never seemed to throw them out for some reason. Reading over them again, I found that in these silly stories is something of the origin of some of my approach to gaming storytelling as it is nearly two decades hence. So for a little bit, I'll be writing up the story, which spins out of a synopsis of the first part of the 1983 film Danton, it's very silly and rather juvenile, and I've only edited the spelling mistakes and worst grammar, so maybe come back next week if you were hoping for anything more meaningful.


Danton

During the Terror, Robespierre and the Committee struggle to maintain control over the masses. Danton, the Great Orator, and his followers seek to overthrow the Committee and end the Terror. Robespierre seeks to imprison Danton without inciting a popular uprising. Danton allows himself to be imprisoned to further his cause. Some of Danton's followers turn against him. Robespierre decides to release the Sentinels to quell the mutant menace. The Justice League break Danton out of gaol and give him the armor of "La Dynamo Tricolore". Dracula seizes control of the Committee and reactivates Voltron, making the Marquis de Condorcet Voltron Commander. Seeking revenge, Robespierre allies himself with The Iron Paw, a coalition of werewolves. Gamera is awakening from his hibernation imposed by Doctor Strange, who has repaired Gundam Wing Zero.

When Gamera awakens, he goes on a rampage in Paris, Dracula sends Voltron to stop him. A team of Werewolf-hunting Ninja attack the Iron Paw, who are actually evil and trying to release a Storm Elemental into the world. In a pitched battle all the Werewolves and Ninja, bar a single Ninja, are killed. The last Ninja swears to hunt down and kill Robespierre, who has gone to Otherworld to fight in the Mortal Kombat tournament. A pair of Japanese fae turn Danton into a giant badger to battle Gamera and Voltron. During the battle, Voltron accidentally destroys Master Mould's holding cell and it attempts to destroy all humans in Paris. Doctor Strange arrives in Gundam Wing Zero and destroys Master Mould with his Beam Cannon. Voltron kills Badger Danton but is destroyed by Gamera, who leaves mysteriously with Doctor Strange.

Fantasy Football IV

I do enjoy doing these, as it lets me bring attention to characters I really like but who may not be as well known as others, or to take a character out of their existing context to try something new with. The reason these are so long between versions is that I'm not actively looking for characters, but rather, they occur to me as I'm watching or otherwise working on other articles for this blog, and they go on a list until I have the five I like to do for each. Rules remain the same as previous entries, I'm considering recruits for a theoretical superhero team to battle evil. The team needs balance, and a range of abilities, but also the personalities can only clash so much, too much of the wrong kind of ego will throw off the balance.

Adam Warlock (from the Jim Starlin run)

Although I'm rarely big on high power-level characters, but there is something charming about the classic Adam Warlock and his all-powerful Soul Gem. Warlock can perform amazing feats, but fear of his own power, and possibly becoming an evil god, keep him in check and force him to fight rather than simply obliterate all before him. Warlock has an unbending will that dives him as well, which would lead to his downfall if he didn't surround himself with dissenting opinions and people who looked at the world a lot less seriously than he does. With his cosmic status, Warlock is also able to see the "big picture" in a way many can't, which can make his actions inscrutable, but always for a higher good.

Batman (as played by Adam West)

No, I swear this isn't a troll, I've been thinking a great deal about which Batman I would want on any theoretical team, and it's this one. Yes, The Animated Series still has the 'best' version of Batman, but the Adam West incarnation has something that most others lack, a focus on intellect and problem-solving over karate chopping mentally ill people in Halloween masks. Sure, sometimes the programme takes an odd tack at this, but Batman's role with the police is that of an advisor, very much a precursor to the concept of The Mentalist or Psych. Despite the mythology that has been built around the character, Batman is just a man who's pretty decent in a fight, his true greatest asset is his mind, especially when surrounded by strictly more 'powerful' heroes, so why not have the version of the character most focused on their mental acumen?


Rando Yaguchi (from Shin Godzilla)

What's this, a politician? What good is he going to be in a fight? Well, here I'm linking more of Henry Gyrich from the old Avengers comics, as the official liaison between a super-team and the government, and, well, good fictional politicians are few and far between. Yaguchi is competent, humble and not so far ingrained in the system that he is inflexible, which is the strength by which he comes to be defined. When confronted by the impossible, in the shape of Godzilla, Yaguchi risks his political career by being flexible enough to embrace unorthodox solutions from iconoclasts and outsiders. That sounds like exactly the guy I'd want advocating for the team of people with random powers who have a history of punching the problem away whilst wearing spandex. Sure we could just nuke it from orbit, but Yaguchi is just asking for one chance with the costuming wearing weirdos.


Red Guardian (from the MCU)

I love him and want to see him get his own solo series on Disney+ at some stage. Red Guardian has always been one of those characters who is better in concept than in execution, that is, until David Harbour put the costume on. From the "Karl Marx" tattoos across his knuckles to the absolute insistence that he fought, and beat, Captain America once, Red Guardian almost stole the entire film along with my heart. In a team, Red Guardian fills the Flash/Hawkeye role of technically being actually useful, but mostly needed for the levity they bring to the dynamic and general humanity that helps ground the aliens and gods around them. Whilst not the strongest fighter, Red Guardian can hold his own against foes like Taskmaster and never gives up, even when coughing up his own blood on the floor and in a giant flying base falling from the sky. Fight on, comrade!


Princess Star Butterfly (like, three episodes before the end of the series, I guess?)

She's a little weird and a little wild, but this extra-dimensional Princess is a powerhouse to be reckoned with. From Narwhal Blasts to Warnicorn Stampedes, Star's magical abilities are more combat-oriented than most comic wizards, but she does show a grasp of magic as a discipline that is deeper than one would think of a teen possessing. Star is a fighter from a long lineage of warrior princesses, not psychically overly strong, but an accomplished brawler who can mix magic with punches better than most. It also bares mentioning that Star is capable of great compassion, as when she attempts to make peace with the monsters in her world, and great sacrifice, as when she is willing to never see Marco again to save the multiverse from magic gone awry. A great hero and a valuable addition to any team. 

Superhero Media: Godzilla II King of the Monsters

Oh my God-zilla, but this came out of nowhere! The 2014 Godzilla was alright and Kong Skull Island was a hell of a lot of fun, but King of the Monsters pushed everything to a new level; being a really good action film even without Godzilla or grading on a curve for being an American Godzilla film. No longer bothering with easing Western audiences into the whole Kaiju concept, King of the Monsters has Godzilla on-screen in the first minute and throws out a heady mix of Mothra, Rodan, King Gidorah, the Hollow Earth and Aliens as it smashes it's way to greatness. Every part of this film is finely crafted in a way most genre action films don't bother to be, from the soundtrack, to the cast and especially the Kaiju, King of the Monsters had the potential to be a great hit. Sadly, it did poorly at the box office and that's all Hollywood executives care about right now. I can only hope that Godzilla vs. Kong performs well and I finally get that Kaiju Cinematic Universe I want, complete with all the weird monsters Toho has the rights to, but with American money behind it. 

Unlike the previous attempts to adapt the King to a Western audience, King of the Monsters embraces what has worked in the Japanese films for decades, even down to Bear McCreary using the classic "Godzilla" theme as the basis for his score, giving longtime fans like me a thrill as the big brass horns start up. And don't get me started on the version of Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" done with Serj Tankian, a Buddhist Monastic choir and full orchestra, still my favourite new song of 2019. How good is this film, when you get down to it? I saw it in the cinema with my then-girlfriend, who had only seen the 1998 and 2014 versions and thought the whole premise was laughable, but she was cheering with me when Mothra comes back into the Boston fight to take out Rodan and kept talking about how amazing the whole thing was through dinner later. King of the Monsters takes us to the Hollow Earth to detonate a nuclear bomb in Godzilla's face, which heals him, of course, as a preamble to the third act, but none of it feels out of place or forced, it's that well crafted. How this wasn't the start of something bigger just baffles me, more people have seen Gidorah memes than they have this film. 

Even the sounds the kaiju make are pumped-up versions of their classic calls from the Japanese films, such is the fidelity on display here; it's astonishing. And for all the loyalty to the history of the franchise, King of the Monsters is still a beautifully crafted film, with scenes like Godzilla approaching the underwater base frankly better lit than many entire films I've seen of the same era. Hell, I didn't even get to the cast yet! Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Ken Watanabe, Bradley Whitford and Sally Hawkins are just a few of the names that grace this motion picture, that's a hell of a cast and they deliver, from the shock and awe of the opening, to the final "Long live the King" drop. King of the Monsters is one of my favouirte "rainy day" movies, something I'm always up to watch, even if I only saw it again a few days ago, because it's a lot of fun and always thrilling. What the cast and crew of this film did right is the same thing the Marvel Cinematic Universe does right, they trusted that something that had been around for decades already "worked" and build a solid film around those concepts, rather than trying to reinvent it from the ground up. I hope this isn't the end for the "Monsterverse", I want to stay and see where it goes. Long live the King.

Superhero Media: Dragon Ball Z - Wrath of the Dragon

In this adaptation of the popular video game franchise, Dragon Quest, the great hero Tapion must use his magical sword and enchanted ocarina to defeat the evil wizard Hoi and his terrible monster Hirudegarn. To aid him in his quest, he has Trunks, Gohan, Videl and Goku who help fight Hirudegarn and protect the people of Earth. Wait a minute, this is a Dragon Ball Z film? Holy hell it is! It's the one where Kid Trunks gets the sword that Future Trunks has. Look, Wrath of the Dragon is pretty decent, all told, but the whole elements with Tapion, his history and the magical music box feel like they're from a different series, or at least Dragon Ball rather than DBZ. The film is really about Trunks making a friend, which is actually quite nice, as Tapion gains closure on his grief from the bond as well. Though what I personally enjoyed most about Wrath of the Dragon was getting to see the Z Fighters take on a Kaiju! 

Despite the huge variety of characters and stories that can be told in the superhero genre, it's actually pretty rare to see human-sized characters with powers take on giant foes all that often; off the top of my head, it's mostly a Silver Age Superman bit. Also there's Doctor Demonicus, but I'm pretty sure only I actually remember that character. I mean, it really seems like an obvious premise, take your super-strong people who can fly and shoot energy and have them fight a big monster who wants to trash cities, preferably Tokyo. Sure, as a concept, it could have diminishing returns, but that's a hell of a bit for Avengers 9 or whatever. As much as I like the Legendary Pictures Godzilla franchise, I don't expect it to run too long, as it's not doing anything great at the box office, why not have Disney get the rights on a contract to have The King of The Monsters fight Earth's Mightiest Heroes? I'd watch the hell out of that. 

Aside from the relationship between Trunks and Tapion, there isn't too much to Wrath of the Dragon other than some really good fights, not that that's an issue in a DBZ film or anything, just an observation. The city scenes are some of the best in the history of the franchise, and getting to see more of Videl as the Great Sayiawoman is always welcome. Whilst I may still be waiting for my comprehensive range of DBZ miniatures for superhero games, I can at least eye off a
Hirudegarn to go with my Kaiju games, once I find an action figure in my price range. As much as I enjoyed it, I don't think that Wrath of the Dragon will be making it into high DBZ rotation for me, the presence of Tapion and his magical accouterments break the immersion for me just a little, really seeming like abandoned designs for Dragon Quest than something that was intended to go along with late-stage DBZ Goku and friends.

Miniatures Finished - 07/03/21

Despite sending a decent amount of time sorting out my Superhero miniatures during the 2020 COVID-19 lockdowns, it appears that I always have more to paint than I remember. The current focus of my work is actually just painting the overflow of the storage box I keep the undercoated miniatures in.

Cyborg Spider-Man: A random booster pull, I based him up for Reality's Edge Cyberpunk gaming, though I expect he'll see the table during my slow-burn "Spiderverse" project. Heroclix

Hit-Monkey: Another booster random, I actually had to look this character up because I'd never heard of him. Seems fun enough, and is such a small piece to store that I won't miss the space. Heroclix

The Punisher: Commission piece done for a friend, the face is pretty poor, but the rest of the sculpt is quite nice. Heroclix

Godzillas: I had a friend run these off when members of my local club started doing 1/1200 scale naval gaming, just as something fun to throw on the otherwise bare tables. 3D Prints

Gentlemen Ghost: Great character, been meaning to paint him up for games for a while now. Good thing I've been painting lots of ghosts for other games lately. Heroclix

Miniatures Finished: EDF Strongholds

Chipping away at the pile of Kaiju miniatures continues in-between other projects. I'm actually just about finished now, unless I get my hands on some new stuff or chip into the massive collection of 6mm WWII Soviets I still have in a box. I'll probably wait until I actually start playing games for that, though.

Some kind of tower from Dystopian Wars that I'm assuming is a Shot Tower, because it reminds me of one in Melbourne. The other building, which I am calling "The Bloodkeep" is another Dreamblade figure.

 

Looks like someone has been experimenting with adding Kaiju DNA to old planes to create living weapons. Dreamblade

Miniatures Finished: EDF XIII

I still have a little Kaiju stuff to work through, though without an event to run the game at anytime soon, I'm mostly just painting to break up other gaming projects.

Baba Yaga's hut (Dreamblade) and Goemon (Ultraman).

Detail on Goemon, sorry about the picture alignment, I forgot that I can't rotate them after uploading. These old Japanese kits have some great detail, even if they can be a little wonky.

More terrain, this time Dropzone Commander pieces to represent the more technologically developed areas of the Earth.

Baba Yaga represents the "Soviet" faction of my setting making dark pacts to keep the fight going. I'm not sure how that will play out in games, but I don't need to figure that out just yet.

In contrast, the advanced "Japanese" human faction has reverse-engineered alien technology to even up the fight. This enables me to have giant robots and retro tanks fighting giant monsters, depending on where I set the game.

EDF Special Forces

When normal troops, tanks and planes aren't enough to battle the Kaiju and Invaders that threaten the Earth, humanity calls on unique and deadly weapons to defend the planet.

Rick Dom, Magella Attack Tank, Titan-Slayer Missile and the Hateful Flesh. 

 

1/400 Vending machine toys for Gundam, Kaiju and Sci-fi gaming. 

 

Repainted Dreamblade miniatures, the Titan-Killer is a one-shot, tungsten-headed missile intended to penetrate Kaiju hide and detonate inside the monsters, shredding their organs. The Hateful Flesh is a block of somehow still-living Kaiju bio-matter, kept alive and in pain constantly; the psychic distress this causes can distract Kaiju and drive away their spawn. 

 

Although massive compared to human-made mechs, the Invader "Drone" is on the smaller side of Kaiju. Made to provide command and control functions to the smaller Invader forces, the Drone strikes quickly and moves on, providing an elusive target. 

Superhero Media: Godzilla Final Wars

Chances are, if you're familiar with a Godzilla film outside of the American ones or the original it's Final Wars, a masterpiece of what-the-fuck and IP management that is simultaneously the Batman RIP/Turtles Forever and the Avengers Forever of Godzilla. In the not-too-distant future, an international team of soldiers and superhuman "mutants" pilots their flying submarine with a drill head to victory against Godzilla, ending the years long "Monster Wars" with a win for humanity. A few years later, the arrival of the alien "Xillian" race prompts international chaos and the return of many Kaiju thought long gone; with most mutants falling quickly under alien control, a desperate plan is hatched to free Godzilla from the Antarctic ice and begin the "Final War" for human survival. If that's already too much for you, maybe give Final Wars a miss, because I've barely scratched the surface of the crust of gonzo that encases one of the most highly regarded Godzilla films of all time. No, I'm not kidding, this thing is nuts in the best ways. 

For the uninitiated, Japanese Godzilla films tend to be roughly divided into two eras (technically it's more like four, but that's not important right now), the Showa era and the Toho era, named for the companies which produced the films at the time. Though it's not a hard rule, it was generally considered that the two eras were separate continuities, but that all changed with Final Wars, which makes a herculean effort to unite Godzilla under one continuity. Yes, Final Wars combines everything from oxygen destroyers, Minilla, Mothra's fairy guardians and even the 1998 American "Zilla", who dies brutally and quickly to the real thing in one of the film's best moments. Suffice to say, Final Wars is hardly a character piece, so if you have a favourite kaiju or like some development in your monster films, this one may leave you cold, because the focus is clearly action, and plenty of it. Final Wars has some of the best kaiju fights ever put to film, with my only real complaint being that many are too brief and the mix of rubber suits and CGI can clash pretty badly at times. Of course, I'm not watching Final Wars for anything other than a killer good time with Kaiju, so even criticising it for being too fun is pretty much a waste of time; this film is exactly what it wants to be, unashamedly. 

Although Final Wars is considered among the best Godzilla films ever made, it is clearly not intended for new viewers and is really not a good place to dive in if you don't just want something to laugh at. Even as a fan, this is kind of a mood thing for me, like when I'm in just the right mood, I'll watch Final Wars, but if I just want a Godzilla fix, I'm more likely to pop in Shin Godzilla, Godzilla II: King of the Monsters or Godzilla Vs. Hedorah to get it. This one, like Avengers: Endgame, is for the fans, not a new introduction or a good place to land on accidentally. An entire cottage YouTube industry built around parsing the madness of Final Wars is still going strong, especially with the terrible dubbed version that pops up regularly on Netflix. That said, Final Wars is a great film, I love it, but be warned going in that it pulls no punches and does not include any exposition for the Godzilla minutiae happening. Hail to the king.

Superhero Media: Colossal

Sometimes, superhero media can be used to talk about broader social issues, such as Speedy being addicted to Heroin, Captain Marvel being a metaphor for feminist film making or The Punisher taking on human trafficking; but what about Kaiju as a genre? Sure, the original Godzilla has a clear meaning, the Gamera series tackles environmentalism and Shin Godzilla is about Japanese bureaucracy, but how would a Kaiju film about abuse and trauma work? Colossal is an independent film about Gloria, a New York party girl who goes back to her small Seattle suburb home after getting kicked out by her boyfriend. Reconnecting with estranged childhood friends, Gloria tries to get her life back on track and takes a job working at her friend, Oscar's, bar. Then, one night, a giant monster attacks Seoul. The world is shocked at the sudden appearance of a Kaiju, but life moves on quickly and soon Gloria and friends are back drinking at the bar after hours. That is, until, Gloria figures something out; she is controlling the monster. 

The rest of this is going to be pretty spoiler-heavy, so if you're keen to watch Colossal now, stop here. What makes Colossal unique and engaging is how the characters, particularly Gloria, engage with their discovery and take steps to resolve it. After realising that she has accidentally killed hundreds of people whilst stumbling home drunk, Gloria not only resolves to tackle her borderline alcoholism, but tries to atone for her actions, even scrawling a message in Korean apologising for the pain and suffering she has caused. The conflict of the piece comes when Oscar's motivation for his altruism and friendship is revealed to not be an old crush on Gloria, but a seething jealousy that has existed since childhood. When Oscar's true nature is revealed, Gloria must figure out how to use her new powers to save lives and gain control of her own destiny once more. 

If it's action you're after, Colossal is pretty light-on, but the exploration of Kaiju as a literal metaphor for the monstrous nature of people is interesting to explore. The connection between Gloria and the unnamed Kaiju is reminiscent of the 1990s Gamera films having "The Girl Who Talked to Gamera" as a character (Midori?), though obviously the connection is much more direct here. After having watched so many Kaiju films of late, I find myself considering the relationship between humans and Kaiju and how that can be explored through narrative. Characters like Mole Man and Doctor Demonicus have direct communication with their monsters, but Midori and Gloria have a more limited control, due to the nature of their monsters. If Kaiju are typically a metaphor for a human experience, how do we have more direct interaction with them beyond getting stepped on? 

Miniatures Finished: Infestors

Finished my first lot of miniatures for Bot War, an exciting, Australian-made miniatures game put out by Trader's Galaxy. My chosen faction are the Infestors, alien robots that have lost their individuality and been subsumed into the swarm.

Locust, Roach and Mantis. 

 

Beetle, Termite and Weevil

Despite being a garage operation, the miniatures are crisp, with plenty of detail to work with. I used a Tamyia Aluminum basecoat and GW Contrast paints to make them look like the gaudy, Gen-2 Transformers I remembered from the 1990s. 

More Superhero Movies that Never Happened

Did you like the last one of these? Hope so, because here comes some more! Thanks to the huge interest in superhero films at the moment, more information on film ideas that never quite made it are coming to light as studio "leaks" become more common. If this is really your bag, there are many highly-detailed videos discussing the broader topic, as well as specific films, what I'm doing here is more of a "taster". Enough preamble, let's get on with it! 


Batman Unchained/Triumphant

Although the chances of it being made after the backlash against Batman & Robin were slim, work did begin on a fifth film in the 1990s Batman series. Alternatively titled Batman Unchained or Batman Triumphant the intent was to bring the series to a close, ending the narrative threads begun in Batman Forever. Despite what you may read online, George Clooney was not under contract and the studio had actually approached Val Kilmer to return to the role; joining him would be Alicia Silverstone and Chris O'Donnell returning as Batgirl and Robin. Menacing our caped crusader would be Harley Quinn, played by Madonna, and Scarecrow, played by Jeff Goldblum, in this version, Quinn would be the daughter of Joker out for revenge. In an extended fear-gas sequence, every villain faced since the 1989 film would return, with Batman having to overcome each in turn. I'm sure it wouldn't have been great, but that sequence with previous actors returning could have been pretty awesome to see.

X-Men Origins: Magneto

If there's one film on this list I'm genuinely upset didn't get made, it's X-Men Origins: Magneto. The intended follow-up to X-Men Origins: Wolverine, parts of this film became X-Men First Class, which I'm yet to review, but I really don't care for it. Before the first film flopped, the plan was for a film in which a young Eric would grow to adulthood in Auschwitz, fighting to survive and killing his tormentors with his powers, after the war, he would hunt Nazis in South America, eventually encountering Charles Xavier and undertaking the task of collecting mutants to form the first X-Men. The tone would have been pitch-dark, a blend of The Boy In The Striped Pajamas, The Boys From Brazil and Seven Years in Tibet with Magneto in the lead and Ian McKellen narrating the whole thing. Sadly, this was not to be, and we got trimmed down ideas in a disappointing soft-reboot of the franchise. 

Dazzler 

Ok kids, strap yourself in for this one. X-Men hanger-on Dazzler was invented with the intent of tying into a co-production film to break Marvel into Hollywood. It's 1979, Disco is waning, but still enjoying a lot of attention in the media, so the idea of "The Disco Dazzler", a superhero pop star was crafted with a record label to handle the production of the music and Marvel making a tie-in comic to launch the idea to the public. The real meat is in the proposed film, however, which almost made it into production with one of the wildest pitches ever; Dazzler, Spider-Man and the contemporary Avengers roster are transported into an alternate future New York City where society has collapsed into gang warfare and tribalism. Not a big deal until you learn that Cher and Donna Summer were tapped to head the warring factions, commanding soldiers including KISS and The Village People. Robin Williams was to be the love interest for Dazzler, a strange take on Starfox, who would be manipulated by three Rodney Dangerfields into sparking a massive war, because the triplets are actually deep-cut Marvel cosmic character Lord Chaos. The finale would be a big battle between all three factions during a massive Disco number that would finally unite the world in dance. Sure, this film probably would have been garbage, possibly even torpedoing the superhero film genre before it began, but I imagine it would have been a spectacular failure in the vein of Cats or Showgirls; a kind of cinematic train-wreck you simply couldn't turn away from.

Godzilla 2

Another script which parts of were re-adapted at some stage, this time into the Godzilla animated series, this follow-up to the 1998 Godzilla is really more interesting in concept than I feel it may have been if realised. Opening minutes after the ending of the previous film, Matthew Broderik's character would find the last Zilla egg as it hatched, having the monster mistake him for its mother before being chased off by soldiers. The following film would have been more in line with classic Godzilla stories, with more giant monsters and fewer humans running around being annoying. Having Zilla trash Sydney would have been interesting, but I really don't mind that I'll never get to see this film, as Zilla's death in Godzilla Final War is about all the follow-up the garbage 1998 film deserves.

Superhero Media: Godzilla 1 - Planet of Monsters

Much as I tend to disagree with the conventional "wisdom" that Netflix Original Anime is terrible (I enjoyed both Baki and Neo Yokio), I really did not enjoy Godzilla 1 - Planet of Monsters. Now, I'll watch just about anything that involves Godzilla, I even watched the 1998 film again for this blog, but man, this was a dull mess and I'm really not looking forward to the next two parts. In the not-to-distant future, humanity has fled Earth, unable to stop the rampage of Godzilla. The remaining humans share a failing generation ship with two alien races who are so poorly designed, I kept forgetting they were aliens unless it was specifically mentioned. I'm not sure if they were alien species from other Godzilla media, but I really hope Planet of Monsters doesn't sully the franchise further. With food running out and mutiny threatened, the decision is made to return to Earth, where twenty thousand years have past, and fight Godzilla. The ecosystem of Earth has adapted to the presence of Godzilla, wither every plant and animal becoming genetically related to the kaiju. 

What follows is a not-at-all satisfying mashup of Starship Troopers and Attack on Titan, where characters I can't muster any interest in throw themselves at Godzilla until they luck out and kill it. Even the design work is uninspired, looking like something from one of those online video games I'm not interested in, and engaging design work is kind of the hallmark of the Godzilla franchise, even in the not terribly good films. Once Godzilla is defeated, it turns out that this wasn't the real Godzilla, the real Godzilla was hibernating and is much bigger and just woke up in time for the next part. Dull. Dull and derivative. But wait! In a "killer" twist, one of the alien species worship Godzilla and had this planned all along somehow? Really? I let that crap slide when Nick Fury pulls it, because there's a great deal of winking and artifice to it, but here it's just dropped in the finale like a dog turd. I really shouldn't try and teach anyone writing technique, only really having blogs and a couple of published stories to my name, but "I planned it all along" is lazy and makes your writing look unplanned. 

Also quite a bit of Planet of Monsters' screen time is dedicated to a long-winded explanation of Godzilla's magnetic field and how that makes him hard to kill. Again, what is the point of this? To fill run time? That Godzilla has a "shield" and the heroes need to work around that is a fine conceit as to how/why they can defeat him with conventional weapons, but such a huge amount of dialogue is committed to belaboring the point, it feels like maybe this was the point of the film? Is the writer of Planet of Monsters a huge Godzilla fan who's been sitting on a pet theory about the King of the Monsters for years and finally had a chance to share it with a big audience? Man, this was a frustrating watch, and I'm not looking forward to the next two parts; "luckily" for me, I recently realised I'm currently watching/reading/playing 14 pieces of media for these articles and really want to cut that down, so it'll be a while before I'm back to this particular version of Godzilla.

Superhero Movies that Never Happened

Making films is never a sure thing, no matter how big the studio and property, and plenty of great ideas never make it to screens. Superheroes, particularly Superman, have had more of this than most and some of the abandoned projects have become legendary in their own rights. Should I ever find access to parallel worlds, I will make sure to find realities where these films were made and review them here, especially if they're really good or really bad. Anyway, here's a quick look at some of these "Could Have Beens", you can find more online if you're particularly keen on any of them.

Superman Lives

Fun fact, Nic Gage played Superman in Teen Titans GO! To The Movies because of how notorious this project became when Kevin Smith started doing comedy lectures. I personally think it would have been worth watching, even to see the iconoclastic Cage take on a very 1990s Man of Steel. With a Kevin Smith script it would have at least been unique, even with the infamous "giant robot spider" sequence. Just how connected Superman Lives would have been to the Donner films is debatable, but I imagine we'd be referring to it as a "soft reboot" if the film had existed. For the record, I like Cage as an actor, despite the many poor films he has been in, and I'd watch him play Superman quite happily. Maybe Earth 2 somewhere down the line?

 
Batman Meets Godzilla

Adam West, Burt Ward and Godzilla? Yes this almost happened, and the fact that it didn't is one of the greatest tragedies in the history of superhero film-making. Here's how this madness happens; it's the 1970s, Batman is doing killer numbers in syndication and Godzilla is enjoying his second boom, so some Japanese film executives reach out to their American counterparts and try to get a joint venture going. I have no doubt that the finished product would have been extremely silly and played for comedy, but I'm also certain it would have been amazing. The intended plot was to have Batman and Robin traveling to Japan to help the authorities deal with yet another Godzilla attack and at least one of their villains would have been involved. Sadly, the whole project was deemed too expensive and it never happened, but I'll live the rest of my life dreaming of what could have been.

Shin Godzilla Vs Evangelion 

As the director of both Shin Godzilla and Neon Genesis Evangelion, Hideaki Anno is clearly slightly mad in the best way, so, of course, he's trying to get a crossover off the ground. Now, it's probably unfair for me to say that this idea won't get made now in 2020, but I'm taking a guess that no studio is going to want to take on something simultaneously so expensive and so weird. If we're lucky we'll get a Manga and maybe a Netflix Anime in a few years time. Still, body-horror Kaiju meets mother-issues mecha sounds like a very interesting film, if not a particularly popular one.


Superman Returns Sequel

As I've discussed previously, I really like Superman Returns and would rate it as one of the best Superman films to date. Sadly, no one else really enjoyed it and the sequel was scrapped during pre-production. And it would have been great too! Superman fights Brainiac, and has to fight his son, who has gone rogue and is destroying the planet with his emerging superpowers. It's about loss, family and responsibility, with Superman having to put the safety and needs of others above those of himself and his loved ones. Yes, it turns out Bryan Singer is a garbage person, but I would have loved this film and be defending it online against people who probably didn't get what it was going for. Hey, at least we could have a Superman villain in a film who wasn't Luthor or Zod.

Miniatures Finished: EDF XII

After some discussions online about using 6mm infantry with 1/400 Gundams, which is technically incorrect, as 1/400 infantry would be 0.7mm, but what "looks better" is sometimes the better choice for games, much as my Kaiju project hovers somewhere between 2mm and 12mm at the best of times. Rather than spend money I don't have on more 6mm figures that "better" resemble One Year War Zeon infantry, I just gave some spare WWII Soviet Spetsnaz a coat of paint.

They still look too much like WWII Soviets for my liking, but the effect is fine. 

 

And, of course, I managed to come into more free 6mm stuff, this time, some KV-2s, the bottom right one getting a "Laser Canon" due to being broken in the packet. I love these for any Kaiju and Sci-Fi games as they're just such a funny looking tank. 

Miniatures Finished: EDF XI

Plenty of action happening for that Kaiju game I'm totally going to run at some point. Rules is the real sticking-point for me, as I'm having trouble finding a set that hit the right balance for me.

Factory Complex, MSM-03 Gogg and Alien Temple. 

 

Factory from Spartan Games and Mirco Armour Ziz Trucks. 

 

MSM-03 Gogg from Gundam, for some Gundam gaming as well as Kaiju and maybe even Bot War down the track. 1/400 Collectable repainted in a WWII Axis U-Bot theme. 

 

Alien Flesh Pyramid, painting inspired by Bill Cypher. Dreamblade miniature.