Superhero Media: World of Light

Ok, so this one took me a while. In my defense, I don't play a heck of a lot of video games these days, I'd rather watch films and paint miniatures. However, when I decided to just get through it and dialed the difficulty back a little, it really only took a week of playing between coats of paint. Ideally, I'd like to be fair to World of Light, but comparisons to The Shadow Emissary are all but unavoidable. While I'm at it, comparisons to Smash Run and the Kirby series are going to happen, so you might want to bite on a belt or something. The story begins with the cast of Smash Bros Ultimate facing Gaalem, the "Lord of Light" and his army of master hands, only to be quickly overrun and turned into spirits, all except for Kirby, the most powerful fighter on the team. From there, the player travels around a vast world, awakening the other captured fighters and battling spirits until they can confront Gaalem. It's ok. Functionally, World of Light is a series of linked Smash battles with varying rules, making it more than a little repetitive and very much some video game "stamp collecting". 

Personally, the charm of altering rules in otherwise normal Smash fights wore thin pretty quickly, especially the prominence of Stamina Battles, as they're just not what I love Smash Bros for. What I really found the campaign great for was learning how the newer characters worked, as I never played much Brawl and didn't have the money for the DLC characters on the Wii-U, I wasn't terribly familiar with Cloud, Solid Snake, Ryu and so on. Some of the boss fights are interesting, particularly Marx and Dracula, but they're all available in Classic Mode anyway, so there's that. Yeah, it's that time, World of Light just isn't as interesting as The Shadow Emissary, sorry, but it's true. It's not that the story is less "deep", both are about kiddie pool depth, it's that The Shadow Emissary does a better job of linking the fights and is more fun to play, with added platforming elements, not just fight after fight. Even the Smash Run on the 3DS was more the sort of thing I would have wanted, with the rambling landscape, interesting challenges and variety of enemies. 

I guess my main complaint is that World of Light is very "gamy" and I would have preferred more narrative. The cast of Smash Bros Ultimate is so large and varied that I would have liked to see them interact more, even just in short skits to get a feel for their personalities. How does Samus feel about having to work alongside Ridley against a more dangerous foe? Solid Snake is a wanted criminal in his own setting, does Captain Falcon consider taking him in for the bounty? Would Bowser and King K Rool be rivals or fast friends? What World of Light does do fairly well is play out in a manner where the characters are added gradually as more battles are fought, which isn't too different to my first Ultimate Alliance campaign, and would be a good way to run your own supers campaign if you wanted to take it slow. I'm hoping that future Smash Bros entries have better single-player campaigns, but I feel I should also get my hands on Brawl and play through The Shadow Emissary again to talk about it here. Still waiting for Rayman as DLC.

Another Smash Bros Character Post

So the next lot of Smash Bros Ultimate characters will start dropping soon, we know the first one will be from the game Arms, but that's it as of time of writing. I'm pretty excited, despite having never played Arms, because at least the character will be colourful, bright and not another Anime-styled character from a fighting game or JRPG. As I've said before, I enjoy Smash Bros as a game in which cute mascot characters beat the hell out of each other in a series of colourful environments; the inclusion of more and more "human" characters is really dulling my enjoyment of the game. So yeah, this is another article about how I want more goofy characters in the game, deal with it.

Yooka Laylee 

Yes, I know these characters are already in Brawlout, but they're also finally on the Switch in their own games, which are a lot of fun if you've never played them. Basically, I'm just seeing Yooka and Laylee being an "Echo Fighter" for Banjo-Kazooie, rather than an entirely new build. No, I don't care that Banjo-Kazooie are only a recent addition, that doesn't disqualify them from having an Echo Fighter, it's not like there are rules for who gets to be in the game.

Wart 

Yes, I know I've said that there are already too many Mario franchise characters in Smash Bros, but that didn't stop another Fire Emblem character being added, so here we are. Wart is a big, evil frog that may be from Mario's dreams and/or an alternate universe and he uses bubbles for weapons; if you can't get a fun Smash Bros character out of that, you're really not trying.

Shovel Knight 

So I haven't actually played much Shovel Knight, but what I have was fun and I recognise that asking for Scrooge McDuck is a bit of a reach, even with the brilliant Ducktales reboot. I mean, Shovel Knight already has an Amiibo, so that's not a concern, and I don't buy the whole "they're already an Assist Trophy" line either. Shovel Knight's moves are pretty much already set for Smash Bros and there are 3D renders already in the game, this feels like more of a when than an if, you know?

Asura

I know I said no Anime-styled characters, but Asura, from the cult hit Asura's Wrath is so over-the-top as to almost be a parody of the style. From fights against bosses bigger than the planet to power-levels that break the universe, Asura's style and ethos is perfect for a game where Bayonetta can lose to Pichu if the RNG is right. Hell, a sequence where Asura catches the Moon from the Lake Termina level alone would make his inclusion worth the effort of dragging up this cult obscurity. Also, we could get another game, maybe? That'd be cool.

Juan

Yes, I've been on an indy-game kick of late, I'm just finding the big-studio platformers to be pretty unsatisfying. The Guacamele series is a "Metroidvania" style platformer starring Juan, a luchidor wrestler empowered by ancient Mezzo-American gods to battle evil. Never mind that Smash Bros only has one wrestling character so far, and no Hispanic representation, this guy just looks like a hell of a lot of fun to play. Also, Juan is pretty unique in terms of design, which would make for a fun clash with the Disney-styled mascots and Anime-inspired characters that populate the world of Smash Bros so far. 

Well, that's another list. I really hope we get Rayman soon, and not just more JRPG characters in this next round of DLC. 

Thinking Out Loud: Super Smash Prescience

If you're the kind of person to keep up with the Smash Bros Ultimate news, like I am, you'll know that expansion characters two and three are The Hero (from Dragonquest) and Banjo Kazooie. Now, I'm not going to rant too hard about another JRPG sword character joining the roster (but, like, really? Another one?), but I am naturally ecstatic to see Banjo and Kazooie coming down the pipeline, Banjo Tooie being one of my favourite games from the Nintendo 64. As always, there was outcry from fans that their personal pick didn't make the cut, especially the Waluigi set, but here's the thing kids; Waluigi is coming, I guarantee it. Much like Ridley and King K Rool, fans have been clamoring for Waluigi to join the Smash Bros roster since the Melee days, so of course he'll be appearing soon; if I had to guess, he'll be number five. Now, I'm not keen on Waluigi, I find him off-putting and simply don't get why he has such a following, plus there's already too many Mario characters in Smash, but I get that he will have his place soon enough and I'll deal with it. As it stands, I'm very much aware that I prefer the "mascot" characters to the more human ones, because that, to me, is part of the charm of the Smash Bros series. 

Where one draws the line between the mascots and the "realistic" humans is completely arbitrary, of course, I let Captain Falcon slide (and dive, punch and kick) despite never having owned an F-Zero game, because his cartoony behaviour charmed me in an instant. In contrast, the only Fire Emblem character I ever cared anything for was Roy, because he had a fun set of moves in Melee. Although I play neither, I really like that Sonic and Mega Man joined the roster over the years, because, to me, as someone who grew up with a SNES and a N64, that's what video games looked like, and Smash Bros was the crossover I had always wanted. The days of the "Mascot Platformer" dominating the market are long gone, but still I find myself more interested in characters like Rayman, Dixie Kong, Mouser and Daroach joining the game, probably because I'd much rather throw stars and/or bananas than swing a sword in a slightly different way to how at least nine other characters already swing a sword. See also; I'd much rather a Booster Gold film than another take on Batman. 

So, ok, let's talk about Goku again, because that's still a thing apparently. Personally, I'm a little disappointed that Jump Stars isn't coming to Switch anytime soon, but will live with Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3, and doesn't that game just make more sense as a crossover vehicle with Goku in it? I could totally see Goku as DLC in any of the many anime crossover fighting games, but the only anime ascetic in Smash Bros is leftover art style from JRPGs, with most of the classic mascot characters having more in common with the art styles of Disney and Hanna Barbera than anything else. If Smash Bros continues into the future far enough, I'd happily see it expand to include Anime, Film and Television, but to my eye, there's so much more scope for video game characters before that kind of branching out happens. Not just some of the classics I would enjoy like Lara Croft, Bomberman and Starfy, but also some of the newer icons along the lines of Shovel Knight, Cuphead and Sands. I understand the reality that I have absolutely zero influence over who will join the roster in the future, but I hope to see more Banjo Kazooies and fewer "The Hero"s. Dragon Quest is cool and all, but why not let me play as a Metal Slime? C'mon. 

Five Characters I don't want to see in Smash Bros

I have my copy of Smash Bros Ultimate, do you? Looking at the demographics for who reads my blog, probably not, but I'm still excited. Something different this time, this one is about characters I don't want to see pop up in Smash Bros, but it's also more than just a list. This is more about where the Smash franchise has been moving and some aspects that I haven't liked even as far back as Super Smash Bros Melee. Again, this is all personal opinion, what I like and don't like, so shouldn't be taken as a manifesto or list of demands. Seriously, the bile that gets spewed over people's lists of preferred Smash Bros characters on YouTube makes me glad I have so few followers. 

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Waluigi

Mostly I just think that there are already enough characters from the Mario "family" in Smash Bros, but I really don't want to ever see Waluigi be anything more than an assist trophy. There's just something deeply unsettling about him that I can't put my finger on, perhaps some kind of uncanny valley effect or the fact that he's just fucking weird. Also not keen to see Birdo anytime soon, could be convinced for Mouser or Wart and actually happy to see Daisy be her own character in Ultimate. But seriously, enough with the Mario stuff, why not more Donkey Kong, Kirby or Metroid characters?

Shadow the Hedgehog

As I've mentioned before, I would actually like to see more Sonic characters in Smash Bros; Tails, Knuckles, Amy Rose and Eggman would all be fun to see, perhaps even Metal Sonic beyond World of Light. That said, Shadow the Hedgehog feels like he'd be the start of a slippery slope, as well as just being something of a lame character to begin with. Also, where does it stop? Does Smash Bros really need Shadow, Silver, Cat, Bat, Rat, Matt, Gat and whoever else is kicking around the depraved corners of the Sonic fandom? You know I'm right, just Google Sonic the Hedgehog with Safe Search off.

Lightning

I can see why Cloud was included in Smash Bros, he's iconic for his era, has a huge following outside of the Final Fantasy die-hards and FF7 tricked a generation of gamers into thinking everything since then in the series has been worthwhile. That said, does Smash Bros need to become a repository for Final Fantasy characters when there are already more than a few team-up games featuring said characters? Dear god, do I not want to have to play Event Matches as Squall or Titus. Tifa may be a fun counter to Little Mac, though.

Goku

I know a great many people think they want Goku in Smash Bros, but I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. First off, does Goku really need to be in more fighting games? Seems like every year there's another big budget Dragonball Z or crossover game featuring the Sayian, not to mention he's now an Olympic ambassador as well. Second, even if Goku were to be included in a Smash Bros game, no one could ever be happy with how he would work. Think about it, if Goku wasn't top tier in competitive Smash, there would be an outcry online, if was unbalanced and needed to be nerfed, there would be outcry from fanboys, if he was just mediocre, there would be endless blogs and videos about how he should be better because in the anime he's just that good. I don't want to have to live through that, sorry. Keep Goku out of Smash Bros.

  

Anyone else from Fire Emblem 

Not that I have anything against Fire Emblem, or fail to recognise how popular the franchise is in Japan, but don't we have enough of them already? Robin is the only one of the set that really stands out as he/she dosen't have a sword, though I do have a soft spot for Roy from my Melee days. Much like the Mario characters above, I just feel that there are other characters from other franchises that could do with a go before even more Fire Emblem characters join in. Show me Dixie Kong, Funky Kong and Lanky Kong, or Bandanna Dee, Susie and Daroach, or go really nuts and give us The Elite Beat Agents, Cooking Mama and Bob-Louie before another anime warrior with a sword. 

That's it, I'm done, at least until I finish World of Light. 

Melee of Champions - Part I

This project was going to be a bit more "background" than most, but given the huge amount of interest I got on the Super Miniatures Gaming Facebook Group, I thought I'd get going on it now. I've had the idea for a while to run supers games at various community festivals and events which my club attends, but I wanted to make the games more engaging and accessible for people unfamiliar with miniature wargames. Though I'm not much of a video gamer, I knew about the Disney Infinity figurines and Nintendo Amiibos and thought there was some potential there, but SuperSystem just seemed a little too complex for what I wanted to do.

Thankfully, Scott P came up with Super Mission Force [SMF], a lighter, and faster-playing version of SuperSystem which would be easier for new players and young people to pick up. Thanks to my chronic under-employment, it took me a lot longer than I would have liked to get this project going, but I finally managed to get my hands on SMF and play a few games to get a feel for it. As I've said before, I'm not so much of a fan of it as a game for me, but the rules work fine and only require a couple of tweaks for the kind of game I want to get people playing at a convention or festival. Specifically, the changes I make are that all attacks do Knockback and there is no Dice Pool Cap for bonus dice, there are a couple of reasons for these changes. With the Knockback, I'm running the game on a smaller area and use "ring-outs" as a second win condition, so characters flying all around the place makes this happen a bit more often. For the Dice Pool Cap, I found with my Ultimate Alliance games, which are aimed at a convention crowd, more dice meant more fun, especially when a player got lucky and could make a huge attack.

So lets talk theme for a minute. With my SuperSystem games, I built my own "Platinum Age" setting, complete with history, teams, aliens and even alternate universes; this gives me a chance to tell my own stories and flex my creativity. For Ultimate Alliance, I wanted a game where I could combine all of the various characters I had from different publishers and continuities and do all the crazy stuff that copyright laws and corporate interests would never allow. When I came to SMF and had bought some Disney Infinity and Amiibos (ok, so I did already have some, I do own a Wii-U, 2DS and Switch), I decided to approach it from another angle. Given I was was aiming at a younger audience, my mind drifted to a favourite of mine, Super Smash Bros. 

It's a tad obvious when you think about it, take a crossover game franchise filled with popular characters and reproduce it in miniature form. Of course, being me, there's more to it than that, there's a healthy dose of Contest of Champions in there as well, which is how I'm thinking of framing it for players; "Choose your champions and battle to decide who is the greater power", kind of deal. Incidentally, if you haven't read the new Contest of Champions, pick up the two trades, they're really good. 

So now I had the rules and some figures, what next? Thankfully, the online community for SMF is pretty awesome. Through the Lead Adventure Forum, I found this site: http://smfcards.000webhostapp.com/ which has a couple of hundred stat cards for heroes already done up, plenty of Marvel and DC, but also some indy stuff and even a few anime characters. That lot only covered five of the Marvel characters I had, so being time-poor in the extreme at the moment (in the middle of an 18-day work week as I write this), I went the easy route and decided to just adapt characters that were already in the huge amount of work done above. I'm not much when it comes to image manipulation, thankfully Marc P from the Super Miniature Gaming group came to my aid and put together some great images at no expense. You can find Marc's work at the end of this article, for the originals, please support the previous link.

Some of my Disney Infinity; Thor, Nick Fury, Black Widow, Iron Man and Hulk. 

At the Whitehorse Community Festival here in Melbourne, Australia, I had my "Melee of Champions" stuff out and ready to go, intending to do my best to sell the hobby of miniatures gaming to the general public, despite the popular image of neckbeards and body odor. Whilst I had a lot of interest and even ran a few turns, what I talked about most that day was my profession, that of being a counsellor, primarily working with youth, especially those with diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder. This kind of work is just something I fell into, finding that I had a talent for it as well as the interest. Some of my best work has involved the use of board and card games to help develop a rapport with clients that may not have a great deal of interest in verbal communication. To help with this, my Counselling kit includes such exotic paraphernalia as copies of Infernal Contraption, Kill Doctor Lucky, Man Bites Dog, One Night Ultimate Werewolf and Rhino Hero.

The Incredibles, courtesy of Disney Infinity 

After this past weekend though, I'm thinking that maybe there's room for wargames in my Counsellors' toolbox. I doubt I'll ever have the audacity to hand out "Getting Started in Age of Sigmar" books at any school were I'm working, but Melee of Champions, as well as games like Tribal, Wars of Insurgency and whatever my kaiju project turns out to be all have potential for being educational and theraputic as well as fun. Games are a great way to get students involved with mathematics, estimation, strategic thinking and, for ASD and other youth that have trouble reading non-verbal ques, learning to gauge the truth of what a person is saying. Not so much teaching people to lie that may otherwise have trouble, but to better pick up on when someone else is being untruthful. Obviously, games like One Night Ultimate Werewolf are better for this than miniatures gaming, but there is an element of bluffing to wargames that I feel many overlook, especially once hidden objectives and unexpected combos come into play. 

Disney Infinity Gamora and Rocket Racoon represent the Guardians of the Galaxy I have so far. 

One of the better aspects of this project is the cost, or lack thereof. I tend to game a bit on the cheap anyway, being chronically underemployed, but I also don't mind spending money on my hobby to get the pieces I want. For example, I have a Flesh Eater Courts army for Age of Sigmar, which I really enjoy playing, but damn if it wasn't one of the more expensive armies I've put together. For the most part, the Disney Infinity figures can be found second-hand for a few dollars each, and I tend to buy the Amiibos on sale for around $9AUD each. As mentioned above, I use the Amiibos for my Nintendo hardware, so the price also includes the added play I get there. SMF is a pretty affordable book and the Stat Cards are printed on photos, around 10c each at the local office supply chain store. 

Some of the Disney Infinity really exaggerate the proportions, I'm not keen on Syndrome, but it looks good on Ahsoka Tano and Rey. 

Part of the appeal of a cheap project also helps with my public displays, where the aim isn't so much to convince people to join my particular wargames club, as it is to raise awareness of the miniature wargames hobby and how people can start playing quickly and easily. Something that's as affordable as SMF and some toys that many parents may already have too many of laying around looks a lot less daunting than Warmachine or Age of Sigmar. I've found that most children over around 10 (depending on developmental skills) can pick up SMF after only a few turns, especially with the nice cards that cover most of the Powers and skills. I struggle sometimes to not use phrases like "D6" and "Alternating Activation", after so many years of playing with wargamers, but practice makes perfect and all that. 

Captain Jack Sparrow and Barbossa from Disney Infinity and Captain Falcon Amiibo make for a trio of Captains. 

So this is the part where I ask for help. Not so much for anything in particular, but to start working on something we can all use. As mentioned above, the stats I have for The Incredibles, Syndrome, Rocket Racoon, Ahsoka Tano, Captain Falcon, Falco, King Dedede, Meta Knight and Bowser are simply rebranded versions of existing cards taken from the link. Not to mention needing stats for new acquisitions Rey, Barbossa and Captain Jack. Whilst Marc has expressed an interest in making up more cards, I've never actually done up the stats of a SMF character, and do need to learn, but of people out there, in the community are keen to have a go, please do. Perhaps we can build a database or wiki somewhere? I'm not great with computers, so would be willing to hand that idea off to someone. If you want to help out, comment on this post, in the the original link to this I posted in the Super Miniatures Gaming group. 

Falco, King Dedede, Meta Knight and Bowser, the Amiibos are actually really nice for the money, well sculpted and the painting is crisp. 

Thanks for sticking around til the end of this one, I have a couple more ideas for figures for this one, if Disney, Star Wars, Pixar, Marvel and Nintendo aren't enough for you. First of all DC did a line of "DC Animated Universe" style non-posable heroes called "FIGZ", which look perfect, but I can't find anywhere anymore: 

Seriosuly, if you find any of these, please let me know, I'd like to grab a few. The alternative is the Schleich versions, but at $20+AUD a pop, they're out of my range. Similar designs can be found with various Anime franchises, but I'm, again, waiting to find some in my price range, mostly Dragonball. If video games are more your thing though, you may want to take a look at the Playstation Totaku collectables, but wait until they go half-price at your local EB or Gamestop. 

Personally, I'm waiting for a Ratchet and Clank, but the Tekken stuff is tempting. Hope all of this is helpful or at least interesting for those who got this far. I'm starting a proper counselling job again next year, with a look to do more "games as teaching", so expect something more along these lines in the future. 

Yet more characters I want in Smash Bros - Pokemon Edition

I think it's pretty much a forgone conclusion that we'll be getting more Pokemon characters in the next Smash game. Pokken Tournament has been a huge hit and Pokemon hasn't really dipped in popularity for several years, so to expect any less than one new Pokemon hitting the Smash roster would be foolish. I'm not entirely up-to-date with the Pokemon franchise, as I find the games a bit tedious these days and I don't have the time to grind levels for hours, though my casual playing of the online card game does keep me somewhat in the loop. 

Along those lines, the Pokemon I've chosen here are more about what I think would be interesting to play, more so than who's popular or likely to make an appearance. Yes, I'm one of those people who like characters in Smash for how they play as opposed to how well they play. Mr Game & Watch? Love him. Lucario? Not so much. So yes, there are Generation 1 Pokemon on this list, but for reasons other than nostalgia.

Ditto

A great many fighting games have a character that uses the move sets of other characters, like Combot in Tekken or Edge Master in Soul Caliber, but Smash has never gone this route. Yes, Kirby can copy powers, but otherwise he has a pretty solid set of moves that don't change. Ditto could fill this role nicely. You choose Ditto, load the stage and then have a mad scramble to figure out which character you're actually fighting with as your opponent closes in. Yes, he's a fun character rather than a competitive one; am I the only one that cares about Smash being fun anymore?

Deoxys

There are a few reasons behind this choice, one of which is the batshit crazy but still awesome backstory to this Pokemon; "The DNA of a space virus underwent a sudden mutation upon exposure to a laser beam and resulted in Deoxys. The crystalline organ on this Pokémon's chest appears to be its brain." (Pokemon Ruby Pokedex) Add to that Deoxys' awesome and unique design and transformation-based powers and there's something really cool to play with there. Deoxys has four different "Forme[s]", Normal, Defense, Attack and Speed, each with an obvious focus. Smash-wise I'd really like to see a character which has to change between different forms to fight the most effectively, creating a challenging play-style for committed players.

Metagross

What I'd really like to see as a playable Pokemon in Smash would be a "heavy" character, someone like Donkey Kong, Bowser or King Dedede, who's slower and more powerful. Really, a character like Golem, Venusaur or Kyurem would do just as well, but I have a longtime love for Metagross, the Psychic/Metal type with big stompy feet and a mean face. For me, Metagross was a great Pokemon card when I started playing again at Good Games Blackburn, as I liked Psychic types and he made the deck competitive. For many, Metagross was a "must have" for any team and competition play in the video games. Metagross is tough, strong, hovers a little and has powerful psychic attacks, seems like a fun character to play in Smash and more than unique enough to be a worthwhile addition. 

Zoroark

For many, Zoroark was the ideal pick for Smash Wii-U/3DS, until Greeninja took the world by storm. Zoroark is a "Dark" type Pokemon, basically a category invented to make more bad guys for the manga and anime. Zoroark is one of the few dark types to rise above its bland origins to become an interesting character in its own right, with a unique look and plenty of fans thanks to the adorable previous evolution. Zorarok is a tricky brawler, appearing and disappearing, slashing with its claws and stealing items as it goes. In Smash, Zoroark would likely play similar to Greeninja, but with some of the "dirty" techniques that characterise Wario and Bowser, the kind that make you scream out "come on!" as you fall for them for the millionth time. 

Eevee

Ok, hear me out on this one. Pokemon is one of those video game oddities where the fandom is pretty much evenly divided along gender lines, mostly because there's something there for both boys and girls (in traditional marketing terms) when they get hooked as children. For the "boys", there's monsters fighting, for the "girls" there are cute animals to collect (yes, I think the gender division of toys is bullshit, but I'm making a point here and I bought my ex a Fennekin plush for our anniversary one year). Thus, Eevee is one of the most popular non-starter Pokemon in the entire brand's history, being a cute animal with many collectible evolutions, a few of which are pretty decent. A cute little rodent[?] beating down other characters in Smash would be a lot of fun, and maybe there could be an evolution mechanic with the right item? Don't know, sounds fun anyway. 

Ok, so I know a lot of people are expecting and/or asking for Decidueye or whatever character out of the latest generation that is currently popular, but this is my list and these are Pokemon I want to play Smash with; deal with it. Unlike most commenters online, I really don't believe that I can know what will be in the game and what the designers are thinking, so these lists are entirely opinion, and unabashedly so. This is for my own amusement, for the most part, so just enjoy it for what it is. 

Also, because someone will ask, here is the Metagross card in question: 

Even more Smash characters... getting silly

Man, I thought my wants for "Smash Switch" were self-serving and backwards, that was before I watched a bunch of YouTube videos of "hardcore" video game fans and their wish-lists. Say what you like about mine, but at least I'm not demanding that Smash become a Fire Emblem fighting game spin-off or feature every single protagonist from the Golden Age or think that fucking Goku is going to work. No, stop it, I don't care that there are Goku mods for the existing games, it's never going to happen, so use the space you've been saving on your shelf for that Goku Amiibo for something useful. 

Rant aside, I, too have a wish list of utterly improbably characters that I'd like to see in Smash, so here's another list of characters that I want to beat up the Fire Emblem crowd with. Yes, they're silly and unrealistic, but that's half the fun.

Segata Sanshiro

A brilliant marketing icon for the Sega Saturn, Segata Sanshiro has gone on to have a life of his own, appearing in comics, video games and even songs. A master of martial arts and every Sega Saturn game, Segata possesses superhuman strength and agility, being able to deflect a cruise missile with his body alone. Oh, and he carries a giant Sega Saturn as strength training and a handy weapon. In Smash, Segata would likely be a tough and agile melee character with brutal Special Moves and taunts that encourage the playing of Sega Saturn.

Duke Nukem

I said these were silly, and there are few video game icons sillier than Duke Nukem. For the younger readers of Lead Capes, the classic Duke Nukem games were actually a lot of fun, with "Duke Nukem 3D" actually being something of a deconstructionist classic, not that we got that at the time, we just liked the blood and boobs. Duke is a goofy spoof of the '80s action hero, complete with buzz-cut and tank top and really only seems more at home in the current era of poorly-shaven, Caucasian "dude-bro" game protagonists. With all of the sword-based characters in Smash, why not a guy with guns? Also, he could "rocket-jump", because that would be a lot of fun.

Phoenix Wright

That's right, I can enjoy Japanese pop-culture without being a full-on weeb. Full disclosure, I've never played an Ace Attorney game, but I have watched a couple of the adaptations and think the character is pretty unique and enjoyable. I'm not sure how he'd work in Smash, but I would totally play him as an alternate when I didn't want to stomp one of my friends.

Cole MacGrath

My "Superhero Media" of inFamous 2 was a while back, so for those who missed it, I thought it was a great game. Cole isn't an amazing character, but his powers are cool and Bayonetta proved that having only two games and a cool set of moves is more than enough to get into Smash. I'm not sure how it could it be managed, but some kind of switch between "Good" and "Evil" Cole would be fun, especially if it was based on player choices throughout the match. Perhaps picking on foes with higher damage brings out "Evil" Cole? I don't know, but it sounds like a fun mechanic.

Travis Touchdown

The real question is how has this lightsabre-wielding, Otaku assassin never been in Smash before? No More Heroes was a brilliant game that used mechanics to tell the story in a way few video games manage. Suda51 has mentioned several times that he'd like to see Travis in Smash, so that's at least two people who would be happy to see him again. Play wise, I'm thinking a hard to control sword character with some randomness to him. Much like Conker on a previous list of mine, Travis could easily keep some of his adult humor, so long as it was subtle enough to go over the heads of younger players. 

Think I'm done? Not yet! There's at least a couple more of these I want to do, so stay tuned for more Smash stuff in the future.