Drokk the Law!! - Part XVII

Game day with Andy rolled around again, and we got another three quick games in. We actually could have managed another one or two games in all likelihood, but Andy was feeling poorly after a flu shot, so we were lucky to get to play at all. As I recently picked up some Warlord Kleggs, I rushed to get them done for the day, and I have to say, for Contrast Paints and a little overbrushing, they look pretty damn good. 

Now, when Andy and I started playing the Mongoose Judge Dredd Miniatures Game, we said that we would stay away from Gangs that were built around characters, like The Angel Gang, or Chief Judge Kal's Retinue, which is where the Klegg rules lay. After looking these rules over though, there was the option to have a Klegg hero, so the list can be used as the basis for a Klegg gang. A little discussion with Andy and we decided to give them a try. With only 3 Kleggs in my collection and no Klegg Hounds as of yet, it's a pretty limited gang, but it is somewhere to start with yet another gang. I'll have to amend the Mercenary list in my next one of these. 

We put together a fairly basic setup with Andy's buildings and some of my vehicles for cover. I do have some Dredd terrain in the works, but it'll be a while before it's really table-ready. Until then, this table works alright so long as both Andy and I play reasonably fair, as a heavy weapon in one of the buildings can quickly dominate the table, as we'll find out in the second game for the day. 

For the first game, my Kleggs had to break through a blockade set up by Andy's Sky Surfers and escape. With such a stark difference between our gangs, Andy had a speed advantage but the Surfers are far more fragile, any hit from a Klegg would be lethal, selecting the right mission is paramount to having a fun game. Neither Andy nor I are super competitive when it comes to JDMG, though I do tend to win more games as I'm a tad more aggressive, but it is never really fun to start a game that one has no hope of winning. 

As regular readers will know, one of the changes we've made to JDMG is shrinking the table down to 3x3', which has mostly been good, but we also haven't tried everything in the rulebook yet. Turns out the Power Boards used by Sky Surfers can move most of the length of the table and back in a single turn, which wasn't a problem for this mission, but could be pretty brutal for others. My Kleggs pushed up the centre of the table, taking what cover they could, but the simple fact was, the surfers could get a line on me no matter where I was thanks to their huge movement. The Kleggs had to rely on their general toughness and heavy armour to stay alive. 

My return fire, basically machine guns on both models, was almost always deadly when it hit the unarmoured Surfers, so for me, it was a matter of time before I drove the surfers off. Admittedly, Andy wasn't rolling the best, but he still only managed to take half the Hits off my leader and the other Klegg was untouched. Part of the issue was the small amount of gear Sky Surfers can carry, meaning most high-damage options are eschewed. They're just not very killy, at the end of the day, which is a problem in a miniature wargame. 

After a few turns, I drove the Surfers off and it was fun, we even got a close combat to see how brutal the Kleggs can be up-close. From this game we suspected that maybe the Sky Surfers needed some tweaks to the rules, but that would get solidified with another game later in the day, so I'll discuss it below. 

Game two was a more straightforward punch-up between our two Street Gangs, with my Miameg Porpoises being outnumbered and outgunned by the Brian Ansell Blockers, but I was relying on my heavy Sports Armour to keep me safe as I picked off the enemy. 

So an issue with our current terrain set (belonging mostly to Andy) is that the big buildings are great sniper spots and the roads are too open to cover the distance most of the time. In the first two turns of this game, the only important interactions where mine and Andy's heavy weapons blasting across the street between two buildings until I came out on top. Whilst, as you'll see below, it didn't win me the game, I would like to not have this be the case when we play. Hopefully, with some stuff that I'm working on, we'll have a better terrain density and reduce the lines of sight somewhat. 

After the heavy weapon shoot-out, this was a really fun game, with both gangs pushing to occupy the centre of the table. I do try and build my gangs with an eventual campaign in mind, meaning some of the Porpoises are really under equipped and I have to get pretty close to do much damage. I have one Punk with just a hammer and he and my leader with chainsaw crept up through cover to get to Any's pistol toting Punks. 

I got my bloody close combat against a Punk and things were looking up for me, but a lucky shot from Manimal's spit gun took out my Leader and my entire gang's morale collapsed within a turn after that. This is JDMG at its strongest and why I really hope to get a campaign running someday, as my team decided that seeing their leader shot down was enough and called it a day, turning Andy's probable defeat into a victory. That makes for a fun game and drives narrative for campaigns nicely. 

Final game of the day saw Andy's Sky Surfers return against my Lone Vigilante, Bubba Feet. This turned out to be another great match-up as Bubba's jet pack gave him a decent amount of movement to keep up somewhat with the powerboards. 

It was in this game that the Surfers really showed how they don't quite work with the rules as written. I'll expand on this in a future article, but the Surfers move like infantry that can just ignore terrain, which makes sense, but makes them play like Jump Pack infantry rather than guys on flying surfboards. Shooting and charging them is pretty normal, but they can't fight melee at all unless charged and have to take a whole action to shoot. Being able to turn 360 degrees at any time during movement also makes them not quite "feel" right when being played. As much as we don't enjoy re-writing the rules or adding complexity where it's not needed, we have been going back and forth on email over how to get the Powerboards closer to how we want them to run, so keep an eye out for that getting worked out here as we move forward. 

In better news, this was Bubba's first win in a game, thanks again to the Surfers not being able to pack high damage or AP weapons. Also a first, the Concussion Grenades, wielded by the Surfers, came into the fore. When successful, the Concussion Grenades rob targets of Actions, which can really shut down more elite teams and models. We'll be experimenting with this as we build new gangs, and I can see the right combination being pretty nasty. Until the next game session rolls around though, I'm back to painting and should even have some terrain happening soon. 

Superhero Media: Swamp Thing (1982)

After watching the disappointing Swamp Thing television programme, I went through what other Swamp Thing media I had access to, to get a better feel for the character. Mostly comics, and mostly guest spots at that, I did find that I had a digital copy of the 1982 film adaptation on my hard drive from somewhere, so I checked that out. Swamp Thing is amazing! A prime slice of direct-to-video, 1980s cheese, complete with exactly the kind of cast and crew that makes you want to go back to this again and again, despite the dodgy costume and cookie-cutter story. Directed by Wes Craven, only his sixth time in the chair, and starring Ray Wise and Adrienne Barbeau in the leads, this could almost be an alt-universe prequel to Twin Peaks, if that's the kind of odd mental gymnastics you're into. Following basically the same story as the series, science goes wrong, Swamp Thing is born from an accident and then we chase a monster around for about sixty minutes. 

Look, I, and pretty much any other fan of Swamp Thing, really prefer when the comics are about comparative mythology, spiritualism and postmodernist philosophy, but that's not really going to make a good film; or at least a film most audiences would want to watch. Once you strip away everything that makes Swamp Thing unique, you're left with a monster in a swamp and yet another retread of Frankenstein. With that being the case, I'd much rather sit through a quickie monster movie than a ponderous series that fails to capitalise on the premise in any significant way. Plus this version ends with a a sword fight with a pig man rather than a spoiler for a terrible villain, so what more could you ask for, really? I think the only real missed opportunity, other than a gloss coat on the Swamp Thing costume to make it look wet, is that Jeffery Combs isn't playing the villain, who is seeking a lurid green goo to make himself immortal. 

Also, a young Reggie Batts, of absolutely nothing else, plays Jude, the best "sassy black kid" in any film you will ever see. I was really disappointed to discover that Swamp Thing was his only appearance, he was the best part of many scenes. Despite the director, cast and material, Swamp Thing doesn't tend to enjoy the cult status of, say, Spawn or The Maxx, which I would say is due more to the overall blandness of the picture than any individual blemish. Individual parts of the film are fine, even great for moments, but it never coalesces into anything more than a mildly interesting watch. I seem to remember reading that there are a number of films in this series, but the internet was a bit light-on for information with just a quick search. If there's more, you can be I'll track them down at some stage, but for now I'm thinking maybe some Troma to keep the schlock vibe going? Also some other oddities in the pipeline, but time will tell.

Miniatures Finished: Twin Moons

Been a little while thanks to getting Nocturnal together, but finally finished up a few more minis. Nothing in particular, other than finally getting to my own MCP collection, just what came to hand after moving house.

The Leader: A little odd that I hadn't yet got to this iconic Hulk villain yet, especially because I go through big Silver Age patches in my painting. Orange and blue is always fun to paint though. Heroclix

Moon Knight: I wasn't happy with my old one, so I got a new Moon Knight, really happy with how the white turned out on this one, wish I could get results this good consistently. Heroclix

Paralax: It may be telling that I read comics in the '90s, as this is probably my favourite costume for Hal Jordan. It just oozes power and strength and I'd love to see it return when Hal wasn't possessed by a fear parasite. Heroclix

Moon Knight: My first MCP model, obtained when a friend wanted to split the Blade out of the box. A lot nicer than the starter box ones I did for work, but the white isn't as nice as my Heroclix version. Atomic Mass Games

Zubatman: In an alternate reality, Bruce Wayne defends Fuchsia City from Team Rocket as the Dark Knight, Zubatman! This was a joke I made once on Facebook and could never get out of my head, because it just gets better the deeper you dive. Typically used as a Daredevil stand-in for MCP. Converted Heroclix

Yamcha: Ordered this thinking it was 28mm, but turns out it was scaled for MCP, so he got done up as a proxy, usually Iron Fist or Wong for my Defenders. Fantastic model to paint and really happy with the result, big recommend for their service and STLs. damange83

Superhero Media: Dragon Ball Super - Broly

Finally, a genuinely good film with Broly in it! Well, the second half is really good, at least. And the version of Broly presented is different in a lot of ways from the previous incarnation, so it's almost a new character; but Broly is still amazing, right? Well... Look, if the Dragon Ball Super version of Broly had been the first one, I'd probably be fine with the character, but having lived with the Broly fanboys since the late 1990s, I'm kind of just done, sorry. Recasting Broly as a childlike innocent forced by his father's hubris to live on a nightmare world for most of his life before happenstance improves his lot is at least more interesting than having him hate Goku because he cried a lot that one time they were babies. The thing is though, Broly is still pretty shallow, even for a DB character; he gets mad and loses control and is really powerful for unclear reasons. Once the fight starts, it's great, on the best looking fights in DB history, hands down, and it manages to stay engaging for most of it, but the time to get there isn't all that great. 

What Broly does have is some interesting world-building that I really enjoyed, like having characters who joined Freiza's army for a diversity of reasons and Bulma using the Dragon Balls to keep herself young. That is so bang on for who Bulma was back in the Dragon Ball days, it's nice to see character continuity over such a distance of time. Bra is born, so hopefully we'll have some more of her down the track if we get more DBS at some point, I like that a Sayian character exists who isn't into fighting and would rather spend time at the mall. It makes a nice contrast to Goku and Vegeta, whilst also showing more of the slow integration into humanity that started with Gohan. I think I've asked this before, but why are fans so hyped for Gogeta, but less so for Vegito? I really cannot tell the difference between the two other than the cosmetic and method of fusion. Super Sayian God fusion is pretty fun though, especially with the return of failed fused forms, which was always a nice touch, given how ridiculous the power levels are at that point. 

I know a fair few people are big on the Broly soundtrack as well, but I really don't get it. It's just anime music with the characters' names being chanted, nothing special as far as I can tell. I do enjoy getting to see a more devious side of Frieza, who plans and schemes a lot more than he has in the past; making smart choices for the most part and making use of what advantages he has over Goku and Vegeta. The real star of Broly however, is the animation, which seems to draw as much from Into the Spider-Verse and psychedelia as it does traditional Shonen anime, with a fluidity of motion unlike essentially anything that has appeared in DB before. With the continued addition of cell-shaded CGI to help flesh-out the fight scenes, Broly is a visual delight, even if much of it is two or more burly men without shirts punching each other and yelling. Broly probably isn't a good jumping-on point for the broader DB franchise, but I really hope it does indicate what's in the future. More experimental animation, revising Movie characters into better versions and building the setting apart from the Sayians.

Team Finished: Elements

Although the Equalisers are one of the largest and most enduring superhero teams in the world, and the European Super Soldiers are perhaps the best funded and merchandised, neither are regarded as the greatest or strongest team on the planet. That honour tends to fall to Elements, a quartet of powerful super-beings that are not so much a traditional team, as a collective that works to their own agenda, most often falling in favour of defending humanity. Assembled by Der Flieger, only one member of the team has not spent time in prison previously and each is remarkably powerful in their own right. Combined, Elements may represent the greatest concentration of superhuman power on the planet.

To pose Elements as the rivals to The Equalisers would be somewhat legitimate, though also a gross oversimplification. There are grievences between both teams, that have spilled into violence in the past, but there are far more instances of the two cooperating when the chips are down. Elements have the raw power on their side, but often the sheer number the Equilsers can deploy can carry the day against the existential threats. On those rare occasions that all four Elements are gathered, it can be a dark day for the planet, but if any collective can save humanity, it is they.

Helia, Der Flieger, Sharkman and Tempest, The Elements.

Tempest (Heroclix) and Helia (Reaper)

Tempest (Michael Loeb): Perhaps the most famous mutant terrorist in the world (prior to both Athena and The Mutant Scion emerging), Tempest is an Australian First-Peoples man who originally worked for Alpha Section in ARMOUR prior to the founding of the Equalisers. Working as a Metahuman asset for the Australian Defense Force, Tempest found himself most often deployed against other Mutants and soon chafed at the role, feeling that he was betraying his people. Being under Wildcat (Edward Caan) also caused friction and soon the two came to loggerheads, resulting in widespread destruction in Melbourne from a superhero fight that killed several members of Alpha Section and resulted in the public revelation of Metahumans for the first time since the Second World War. After the "Tempest Event", Loeb was imprisoned in the Boomerang Facility, ARMOUR Headquarters, for several years until the Pendragon attack on the facility, where he was freed. Rather than taking part in the ensuing battle, Loeb fled and avoided interacting with Superhumans for several years until the Blackwing Assault drew him into the open once more. Approached by Der Flieger, Loeb agreed to help form a team free from national alignment or corporate oversight to help defend the world against larger threats.

Helia: With her true origins shrouded in mystery, the woman known only as Helia first emerged shortly after the Pendragon attack on the Equalisers and appeared to already be working with Der Flieger at the time. Current consensus puts Helia as a mutant, though her demonstrated level of power is significantly higher than most observed mutants, Tempest, Athena, The Mutant Scion and Wildfire being the notable exceptions. Able to generate extreme levels of heat within her body at no harm to herself, Helia can literally melt or burn her way through any barrier or foe. More so than any other member of Elements, Helia is rarely seen in the field, as her powers can cause a great deal of unintentional damage, but when she does appear, the effect can be devastating to friend and foe alike.

Sharkman (reaper) and Der Flieger (converted Heroclix)

Sharkman: The enigmatic Sharkman has a chequred history, first being sighted attacking fishing vessels and oil platforms, but then becoming instrumental in the Equalisers' defeat of the Black Wave. In fact, Sharkman's being a member of Elements was not confirmed for years after he first appeared, with many labeling him a villain because of his anti-capitalist actions, especially against the fossil fuel industry. Many have softened on Sharkman's radical politics due to his work with the Elements, though he has not truly slowed in his attacks on whaling vessels and oil platforms. Sharkman has never spoken on any record, though Der Flieger and Wildcat assert that he can talk in a fashion, just chooses to remain taciturn much of the time.

Der Flieger: Once a living symbol of Aryan supremacy, then branded a war criminal, the man known as Der Flieger (the Flyer) has ever struggled to forge his own identity. Famously defeated by Red Tide and WRN during the battle of Berlin in the closing days of the European war, Flieger was unable to be executed after the Nuremberg trials so was incarcerated and forgotten about for decades, until a private equity firm began to advocate for his release. After being freed, Flieger found himself working for Morgane le Fey as a member of Pendragon Security for an attack on the Equalisers. Defeated again, this time by Colonel Quantum, Flieger surrendered to custody, but was soon released. Allowed his own choices for the first time in his long life, Flieger was drawn to the superhero lifestyle, attempting to repent for his time with the Nazi Party by using his strength, invulnerability and flight to help people in need. Forming Elements was something of an organic process, with the team just coming together as Flieger met other metahumans with dark pasts, though as time went on, the team gelled and became one of the most powerful superhuman forces on the planet.

Superhero Media: Infamous Iron Man

In a world were Tony Stark has sacrificed himself to save the Earth from an alien menace, who will fill the role of Iron Man? The answer is, of course, Victor Von Doom. After the events of Secret War (the other one), Doom is returned to Earth, Latveria is in ruins and he has had the epiphany that being a "villain" has not turned out they way he wanted. The natural conclusion that Doom reaches? Become the new Iron Man. As a big fan of Doom, I like seeing him in the hero role, even if the concept is a little trite. Doom 2099 was great, and I should probably read it again at some stage, but Infamous Iron Man hits all of the right notes and goes about as far as you can in the 616 continuity. Seeing Doom work through his emotional baggage, and struggle to interact like a human sometimes makes from some great quiet moments, and some exceptional character scenes when other characters interact with the "new" Doom. 

The artwork, by Alex Maleev, has an impressionistic look, which suits the theme of Doom's disassociation from his former self, but the action scenes are pretty ugly and hard to follow as a result. And that's when the art doesn't cop-out by cutting away, or just not really showing the climatic fight, a magical battle between Doom and Mephisto with Doctor Strange helping out Doom. That could have been really visually interesting in the hands of a better artist, but really lets down the epic conclusion of the mini-series. Of course, it doesn't help that Brian Michael Bendis barely writes a finale, but I'm willing to cut him a little more slack given how many comics Marvel has him writing every month. Again, the smaller moments, like Doom talking to Ben Grimm or exchanges with Ironheart, are where Infamous Iron Man is strongest, as Doom is one of the smartest people on the planet, making excellent points, while all anyone can remember is the several times he nearly destroyed the planet and/or killed a bunch of people. 

Although this is just a mini-series, Victor Von Doom, the Iron Man, continues on in some Avengers comics, but all things being as they are in comics, by the time you're reading this, Doom has likely long-since returned to his old ways. As much as retcons and reboots are something comics fans like to complain about, returns to the status quo are how we get fun little diversions like Infamous Iron Man. Of course Stark will return to the suit at some point, but the comics where Doctor Doom is a hero and everyone is blindsided will sit on my shelves for years to come. Currently there isn't a Heroclix version of the character, but as soon as one isn't a silly price on the secondary market, I'll be sure to be grabbing one for my collection of Dooms. Also certainly a consideration for my "AvengerZ" articles down the track, if I ever get back to them.

Soopha Dewper Super Sayians - Part 7

In attempting to get more of my friends to play the Dragon Ball Z Collectable Card Game (FuZion Format), I've had to start approaching it from a more Magic the Gathering-based perspective. You see, most of the people I play cards with only play Commander, a MtG multiplayer variant, so framing FuZion through that lens could well help me bring some of them across. Something card players like pretty much more than anything else is shiny cards with nice art, especially foiled versions if they can get them. So if I were to make a deck that was full of foiled cards that had a play-style analogous to a popular Magic deck, well maybe that'd give me a way in, right? So anyway, that's why I built Blue Ginyu.

For those that never played the Dragon Ball Z games, especially the Panini version, and are only familiar with the anime, building Captain Ginyu may seem like an odd choice, however, Ginyu was once the best decks going around. Each turn in FuZion, you start by powering up and then drawing three cards, with some clever deck building, you can probably get more cards in your hand, but having more than three attacks and/or blocks is pretty rare. What makes Ginyu different is that he can pull out his Allies (the rest of the Ginyu force) and they can do the fighting for him. When the format had a limited card pool, Allies could be very deadly, and there's still room there for good decks. In fact, I had a Ginyu Force Orange Allies deck before FuZion came along and have considered bringing it back as Freestlye Beats.

I also decided to jump in on the My Hero Academia CCG, because a few people at work were giving it a go and it looked cool. I've only played with the intro decks so far, but the mechanics are fun and there are almost no dead cards in the entire game. I'm going to start building an All Might deck, mostly because I pulled good cards for him and he looks easy to play, but also because my other option is the short guy who throws his balls at people. Not going to cover everything about the game and my deck building here like FuZion unless I start playing it a lot, but it's another Superhero card game, so of course I had to take a look, even if I'm not a huge fan of the programme. Interestingly, this game is based on the UniVerses system by Jasco, so, in theory, I could play my My Hero Academia characters against the old Megaman card game characters? I'll look more into that, even if I'm also not a big Megaman fan.

Superhero Media: Indestructible Man (1956)

My extended Golden Age kick continues with this supernatural Noir thriller starring none other than Lon Chaney Jr! Notorious criminal Charles "The Butcher" Benton is executed for a violent robbery, taking the secret of the stolen cash to his grave, but the intervention of a well-meaning scientist brings him back to life, stronger, tougher and completely Indestructible! More of a detective story, and a riff on Frankenstein, Indestructible Man has plenty of great fodder for pulp and Golden Age supers games. A mute, bulletproof, revenant criminal is a brilliant antagonist for just about any hero, as he looks like anyone else, but can't be stopped. Probably the best element of The Bucther's character is that he isn't on a rampage, he wants his money, his girl and to get revenge on the three people who turned States' Evidence against him, but the only people that get hurt are the ones that get in his way. It reminds me of classic monster villains like the Glob or Missing Link; there's a pathos and tragedy to the character that is endearing. 

Facing down The Butcher is police Lieutenant Dick Chasen (no, really), the kind of no-nonsense detective Noir is famous for, with a drinking problem and high-waisted trousers. Not all that distant from, say, The Spirit, The Shadow, Phantom Reporter or even early Batman, when you get down to it. A mute, bulletproof criminal bent on revenge would make for a challenging antagonist for any character without a lot of powers, and opens the door for scientific and/or magical solution, as well as mundane ones; in the film, The Butcher is taken out by a massive electrical current. Perhaps "evil Luke Cage" isn't the best concept for a recurring or ongoing villain, but various takes on Frankenstein's Monster are already prevalent in comics, so one more can't really hurt. Man, I really want to run a Golden Age campaign now, I should finally buy that copy of Pulp Alley. 

If you're not a regular viewer of classic films, Indestructible Man may be a tad difficult to digest, not just with the acting and cheap camera work typical of this kind of matinee fare, but in some of the ways they tend to date. For example, the film ends with Chasen proposing to his girlfriend, after having gotten her fired from her job so that she has to say 'yes' or lose housing; yikes. Seeing Police arm themselves up with BARs and Flame throwers is fun, but in this age of militarised police, there is an undercurrent of discomfort, especially as the plan from the beginning is to kill a man. The idea of a character's only power being invulnerability to harm is pretty interesting to me, I have such a character in my Equalisers team, and I'll explore it more down the track with a book I'll talk about here, but it's interesting to think that it's usually a secondary power, or part of a suite.

Drokk the Law!! - Part XVI

Two weeks in a row? My goodness, what a treat! Well, this wasn't so much planned as it was just how I wrapped up some miniatures that were lying around. This time, the long-promised Yakuza (Mobsters), that never quite came together before now somehow. 

Again with the Necromunda tile sorry, distracted by Halo and MESBG terrain for work. From the left, Juve (Stargrave), Mobster (Heroclix), Mobster (Urban War), Mobster (Heroclix), Punk (Urban War) and Blitzer (Urban War). Mobsters offer an interesting alternative to the Street Gang for just having a group of normal humans with guns. Whilst Punks and Juves are available, Mobsters are Heroes by default and other options like Blitzers and Assassins are more expensive and specialised. Doing a gang mostly made up of heroes is possible and can make for a characterful project. I have more Urban War models for this gang to come as well as a few more Juves to expand it a little. 

Superhero Media: Dragon Ball Z - Battle of Gods

How do you relaunch one of the most popular Anime franchises in history for a new century and a new generation? By adding a couple of new toyetic characters and giving Goku a new form, apparently. I really want to like Battle of Gods, there's a lot going on that I like to see in DB, such as the characters enjoying downtime, the "Otherworld" and Goku losing a fight. The animation is sharp, some of the best in the history of the franchise, with plenty of great fluid movement that isn't traditionally associated with Anime. In terms of the narrative, however, Battle of Gods leaves me cold. I like Beerus and Whis, and their role[s] later on in DBS are excellent, but here their only purpose seems to be to propel Goku to the next stage, "Super Sayian God". As much as people complain that the story of Battle of Gods was re-run in DBS, but, to me, this feels more like an introductory Saga to a new status quo, like the Trunks or Great Sayiaman Sagas before it. 

The Goku/Beerus fight is very cool to watch, and the bigger budget of the film format allows for a great spectacle, but I just cannot engage with it as much as I want to. There is almost no threat to the fight, with Beerus being unable to lose and the "Destruction of the Earth" never feeling like a real possibility with all of the godlike beings that hang around the main cast by this point. There are no stakes, as the Hollywood people would say, so there's no tension and I can't get invested. I do like that Whis and Beerus are just part of the cast from this point on, but the fact that the "Destroyer God" doesn't do anything other than eat and sleep wears thin as a joke pretty fast. Because, you know, he's a cat. Do the Destroyers in the other universes do the same? It's hard to imagine the clown guy just napping all the time, but maybe it works differently now. Oh, and the film ends with Beerus pointing out that there are more universes, because Goku needs to have stronger guys to fight. 

Again, I really want to like Battle of Gods, but I just can't get there with it; there's too many little things that bug me about it. Like, is this the first DB outing where Bulma is just stupid rich? I mean, she's always had money, but now she can give away a literal castle and a pile of gold at her birthday party? Ok, so it's good for some jokes and it's great to have the Pilaf gang back, but does Bulma really let her oldest friends rot in poverty when she has so much money? That's cold, Bulma. The Pilaf gang being back is amazing, 10 out of 10, would watch these guys as their own spin-off, especially with the Trunks/Mai pairing that pays off later in DBS. I know that sexuality is barely a thing in DB, but boy is Trunks in for a shock, given that Mai is technically in her forties and has a lifetime of "experience". As a jumping-on point, Battle of Gods is pretty lore-heavy, but it still looks great and I know some people who got their start here, so maybe check it out if older, clunky Anime tends to turn you off.

Drokk the Law!! - Part XV

Staring down a handful of weeks until my next gaming session with Andy, I have finally managed to finish another one of my "starter" gangs for Judge Dredd. This time, my Street Gang, The Miameg Dolphins.

Excuse the in-progess Necromunda tile, I'm preparing for several campaigns and tournaments at the same time. The majority of the models are converted Blood Bowl plastics, with various Necromunda and other bits, the little Juve at the back is Stargrave and Wargames Atlantic parts. Gangs in JDMG can purchase "Sports Armour", basically gridiron gear, as one of the better options and when I remembered I had some Blood Bowl models lying around gathering dust, it seemed like a fun project. I will be adding more models to this gang once I finish up another couple of things for other teams first.

Superhero Media: Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer

Ok, so this one took so long because my DVD copy of Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer was corrupted and I wanted to finish up some other stuff on Disney+ before I forced myself through this again. Much like the previous film, Rise of the Silver Surfer has an excellent cast, now expanded with Doug Jones, Laurence Fishburne and Andre Braugher, but fails to do anything interesting with the embarrassment of riches available. Unlike the later, and much worse, Fant4stic, the crew of Rise of the Silver Surfer seem to have at least read some FF comics, as elements like the Fantasticar are present, as well as lines lifted directly from classic and newer comics. I don't believe that the cast and crew didn't care about the material, or not want to make a good film, I just think it fell apart with a few poor choices, and no, not just making Galactus a cloud for some reason. 

Actually, Galactus being a cloud is not my major bugbear with Rise of the Silver Surfer; I'll admit that it's dumb, but I can see how a studio ended up there by not wanting to have the giant purple guy on-screen. My take has always been that the cloud is just hiding Galactus' ship, and we get a glimpse in the climax, rather than the cloud actually being Galactus, but that's me. Doom is back, and up to his tricks in attempting to steal the power of the Silver Surfer, one of his more memorable Silver Age jaunts, but most of the story is sidelined for Reed and Sue having wedding jitters, because that's less expensive to film. If the adaptation of Fantastic Four was a television series rather than a motion picture, this approach to the family drama would actually be pretty good, especially with the smaller moments like Ben and Johnny talking about how they want to ride out the end of the world, but here it just reads as padding for the most part. 

All in, Rise of the Silver Surfer was a fun watch, in the same way the Ang Lee Hulk is fun; it's not the best, but there's enough there for me to enjoy that I don't feel my time has been wasted. Sometimes a crummy but fun film is just what you want for a slow afternoon, and, for all its flaws, Rise of the Silver Surfer is at least competently acted and reasonably funny. Doctor Doom may be a pale imitation of the real thing, but he still does Doom things and chews the scenery like a pro. Until we get the Marvel Cinematic Universe version of the Fantastic Four, this is likely to be the second best live action film featuring the characters, so my advice is to enjoy it for what it is, rather than waste time pointlessly wishing it was something else. Hell, pop this in halfway through your latest Brooklyn 99 re-watch for a bit of a laugh if that's what it takes. And maybe just bite on a belt or something when the Galactus cloud is on the screen?

Ultimate Alliance China: Part VI

One of the workshops in the Engineering department had been hastily converted by the student protestors into something of an iron monger's; building barricades, shields and other weapons intended to fend off police incursions. A bench was quickly cleared and a sextet of students dragged the damaged and soiled body of Inframan off the floor and pulled a spotlight over the workspace. Almost immediately, an argument started in both English and Cantonese over how to approach the, seemingly-impossible, task of repairing a bionic superhero built in the 1970s. The tools at hand in the workshop were reasonable, especially given the many student hands they had passed through over the years, but none were of a Super Science Team quality, even going back forty years. Vice-grips and pliers removed wedged bullets and knife-tips while ratchet-straps from someone's car kept Inframan from thrashing too badly, but it took an enterprising handyman with a grinder and an old screwdriver to finally make a tool that could unfasten the chest-plate.

The insides of Inframan were shockingly sleek and chrome, even with the years of storage and the recent battle. A collection of esoteric pumps, pistons, tubes and circuits kept the robotic and human elements of Inframan running and in sync. A few probings and measurements were made gingerly, no one wanting to risk damaging the apparatus, but each feeling that doing nothing may actually be worse. A medical student produced a stethoscope and confirmed something reminiscent of a heartbeat, though what that meant remained a mystery to everyone present.

The bustle and jabber of the room fell silent with the entry of Cassandra Cain, a Criminology/Psychology student whose fierce intellect and general intensity gave her a palpable aura of "don't fuck with me". In a personally unique combination of English, Mandarin and at least two forms of sign language, Cain cleared the room in seconds. Flipping open a custom-built communication device a few years ahead of consumer electronics, Cain made contact with Oracle, another former holder of the Batgirl mantle, and technical advisor for the Justice League as well as what Nightwing jokingly called the "Bat-Family", of which she was a part. Typically Oracle was represented on-screen by a cryptic symbol, but as she and Cassandra had become close friends during the "No Man's Land" debacle, so she could see Barbara's bespectacled face. She signed "I'm in." in American Sign Language at the screen and awaited instruction.

Oracle quickly ran Cain through the process of connecting her device to Inframan's archaic Coaxial Network port, which required some quick soldering with whatever in the USB family Cassie could find lying around and a small amount of swearing. The data stream was patchy, but enough that Oracle could pull out the pertinent bytes and get them running on her hyper-advanced system. For all the leaps and bounds which computing had taken since Inframan was constructed, the process of converting from archaic programming languages intended for Mandarin speakers into something that could run now in something appropriating English (though both Oracle and Cassandra spoke multiple languages) took time. So that precious moments weren't wasted, Cassandra finished up the work of removing foreign objects and any obvious damage she could with the available tools.

Oracle grumbled something about data corruption and magnetic tape, Cassandra suppressing a smile; Barbara wouldn't bat an eyelid facing a horde or armed bikers, but mess with her system and the griping would never stop. The code-name Oracle was not factitious however, and soon a facsimile of Inframan's personality was running on a virtual clone of the famous Bat-Computer like any other program.

"Where am I?" even through the synthesizer, the voice was clearly of a scared and confused man, "I can't see."

"You're in an engineering lab in Hong Kong," Cassie didn't have the most soothing voice, having not learned to talk until nearly an adult, "what is the last thing you remember Officer Hayama?"

The cyborg did his best to look around with his limited movement, shaking violently as ancient servos ground together. Instinctively, Cassie put Inframan's hand in her own and squeezed, taking a moment to recall that the appendage was entirely metal and plastic.

"I had just helped the police halt a riot in Hong Kong," Hayama ceased trying to turn his head, "I needed repairs, so they put me under, it was 1992."

"It's 2018," Cassie had been raised to favour directness, time spent with other Bat-heroes had not softened this edge, "you have been warehoused for decades because there was not the funding to repair you."

Two sounds filled the space, one was the low electronic buzzing that Cassie had come to associate with Oracle exhaling through her nostrils in lieu of sighing, and a kind of popping like old mobile phone signals interfering with a speaker. In a moment of clarity, she realised that Inframan was sobbing as best as his vocal synthesizer allowed.

"Officer Hayama," Oracle's voice cut into the reverie, "do you recall the man you fought tonight? The reason you were damaged and why you were brought here?"

With the sound of a physical drive starting up, Inframan's eyes began to flicker like an antique pinball machine and his body became rigidly still. Cassie's laptop screen opened a new window that Oracle sent, showing the fight between Inframan and the Masked Warrior from a first-person perspective. An analysis of the Masked Warrior's movements began and soon his Bat-Computer file was scrolling next to the playing footage. Cassie noticed that even Batman hadn't confirmed his identity, having instead a list of around four suspects of varying likelihood.

"Masked Warrior, vigilante, Shanghai based, likely legacy title," Inframan recited the information as he received it, "typically battles organised crime, why was he fighting me?"

"A lot has changed since you were last awake," Cassie's directness was occasionally a boon, "Hong Kong is Chinese territory again and the People's Army is attempting to occupy the city. The people of Hong Kong are resisting, but have no international support and the elections are rigged. They need a champion again."

A series of drive noises and flashing lights accompanied a very robotic twitching as Inframan processed the new data. The screen now showed a rapid series of images of the Hong Kong riots interposed with monster battles and representations of the British occupation. The robotic hands began to flex and Cassie withdrew hers before it was crushed. All a sudden, the lights and movement stopped.

"Fix me," Inframan demanded, "I need to defend my city."

Superhero Media: Kings Watch

Ever wonder what a potential, big-budget, Hollywood Defenders of the Earth would look like? Wonder no more, as Dynamite Comics has given us Kings Watch, a thoroughly modern take on a Flash Gordon/Mandrake/Phantom team up that is... pretty good, I guess? Look, the problem with comparing smaller comic production houses like Dynamite to the "big boys" of Marvel and DC is that they don't have the same deep pockets and pools of artists and writers to work with, so rarely deliver work of the same level. For example, whilst Kings Watch has a great plot and decent art, the character dialogue is patchy and the art doesn't always match what the characters are saying. The first time I read the trade, the flaws didn't bother me that much, but each time I go back to it, they're a little more pronounced and spoil my enjoyment that touch more. Ok, so maybe I shouldn't have read Kings Watch right after Invincible, but my point still stands. 

Flash Gordon, Hans Zarkhov, Dale Arden, The Phantom and Lothar are separately investigating strange occurrences across the world when fate brings them together to combat Cobra, a doomsday cult intent on summoning the great god Ming from the nether-realm of Mongo using an ancient device known as the Kings Watch. Even with the help of, possibly immortal, master wizard Mandrake, these impromptu "Defenders of the Earth" are unable to prevent the opening of the portal and the Armies of Mongo invade the world. A war erupts across the face of the planet, with Mandrake, The Phantom and Flash Gordon leading the charge. After some success battling the invaders, our heroes learn that this is only the beginning and that they must go to Mongo and confront Ming themselves. Kings Watch is pretty decent, despite the flaws that hurt the readability, there's some odd plot twists towards the end that I won't spoil, but the real sticking point for me is how this just kind of reads like a script for a film. 

Yes, I admit, I'd nerd-out pretty hard for a big-budget Hollywood Defenders of the Earth film, and I spent way too much time and effort on this blog discussing that very idea in the past, but this kind of "soft-pitch" comic, as a phenomenon, is starting to get on my nerves. Elements like the presentation of The Phantom, Mandrake being played like Doctor Strange and the "epic destiny" of the characters comes across as someone who knows about the characters, but not what makes them beloved, so has fit them to popular film archetypes instead. The adventures of Jungle Batman, Doctor Strange and Batman but just the rich guy part is not what I want from this franchise, I want Mandrake's "Fast Hypnotism", The Phantom calling on the power of ten tigers and Flash Gordon killing bad guys with a spaceship to the heart. Kings Watch is still a good read and worth it for those interested in the characters, but I wonder if it's a sign of things to come for this franchise.

Danton - Part VI

At last! The final installment of this nonsense! I promise that I won't be revisiting any of my ideas from high school again soon, even the "good" ones that still exist in my broader Equalisers setting somewhere. Honestly, I only really wanted to preserve this for some kind of posterity and this blog is just obscure enough to suit my purposes there. So here we go, Danton, for the last time anywhere.

Danton - Lord of the Ring

After establishing democracy in France, Doctor Strange has retired and Schama has retreated to his empire in Russia. One day, Zorro comes to Doctor Strange and presents him with the One Ring. Doctor Strange realises what it is and collects a group of warriors to take it to Mount Vesuvius and destroy it. Zorro, Link, Dr Colossus, Mister Staypuff and Dobbie depart from Paris among much fanfare and travel for days before remembering that they could just used the Chronosphere. Returning to Paris, the fellowship find that the Chronosphere compound is occupied by a team of all-star terrorists from Canada known as "The Furious Maple Leaf".


...and that's where it all ends, mid-adventure. I'm not sure when and why I left off, but I have to guess I was either too busy or just got sick of the whole enterprise. In retrospect, it was all pretty stupid and whilst I remember having fun with it, the fact that I never really did anything with it was probably for the best. Hopefully, this has been at least a fun diversion for a few entries and we can get back to our normal nonsense.

Superhero Media: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

I remember seeing a few reviews of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power in which the author seemed to not be sure just how queer the programme was in the early seasons; myself, less than three episodes in, I was like "yep, this is gay alright". For once, I am using "gay" as a prerogative, though not to be at all insulting or dismissive, She-Ra is just super gay and that's part of what makes it amazing. For me there was a moment very early on, possibly even in the first episode (the issue with binging a programme being that individual episodes tend to blend together), where Catra is seen to not actually have her own bunk in the barracks, but habitually sleeps curled up at Adora's feet. I know that's also a visual gag about Catra being a cat, but their whole relationship and how Catra has been shaped by it, is super gay. So yes, She-Ra is just as woke, queer, technicolor and Hopepunk as you've probably heard, all whilst being well written, pretty damn smart and having a great cast. Sure, the last season feels a little rushed, but overall the programme is solid and well worth a watch. 

What I liked most about She-Ra is that it answered a question I'd had in the back of my mind for a few years; how do you do superheroes in a fantasy setting? Most fantasy settings already have beings with more-than-human powers, so is there a need for anything like a costumed hero? I've seen a few attempts in roleplaying games over the years, the Grey Guardian[s] in Pathfinder, a friend's Exalted campaign and even a recurring character in my own early Dungeons & Dragons with something of an Immortus vibe. It works in She-Ra because the titular Princesses have access to greater magical powers than the general populous of Etheria and the Horde primarily relies on technology that is weak to most forms of magic. In contrast, Bow and Entrapta use technology and are (mostly) on the hero team (I could write a whole essay about Entrapta's neurodiversity and her political agnosticism inadvertently enabling fascism), so there is a role for technology, when used harmoniously with nature and the magic native to Etheria. The whole setting is reasonably rich and deep for this kind of programming, and could make for some fun gaming. 

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is pretty amazing, but much like Adventure Time or Big Hero 6 - The Series, the drawbacks come from being a programme for children and tweens. It's great that the world presented has queer, genderqueer and ACE representation, but I suspect in hindsight, that will just become the norm and it won't stand out as much any more. I'm getting a big cult vibe from She-Ra, like I'll be hearing about it for years from a handful of people and my liking, but not loving, the series will cause some friction with die-hard fans. And look, that's fine, my love of Tron is more than enough of a fanboy obsession that I'll forgive it in others, especially when the love is driven by hopepunk inclusive wokeness. I'm not going to be chasing down any miniatures of these characters for my own games, though I would consider Entrapta if I found one, but I would 100% be behind someone dropping models down for SuperSystem or Frostgrave if that's what they wanted to do.