MI-13: Part V

Following the events in Birmingham, the next few months are quiet for the team, mostly focused on preventing violent crime and mopping up the odd Dark Elf. Being a Government agency, and therefore taxpayer-funded, MI-13 is not keen to have its members idle, so a great deal of time has been spent in training. The team has access to the usual MI-5 training facilities, but also has a large bunker-like structure for experimenting with superpowers in safety. During one such training session, Pete Wisdom enters with a new recruit for the team, Major Thomas "Toothy" Lancaster, a former member of the SAS who had volunteered for a Super Solider experiment and found himself with massively increased strength at the cost of fine motor control. Lancaster will be taking up the mantle of Union Jack, as none of the Falsworth dynasty are able to do so at this time. 

The team is reticent about having another Union Jack around, and challenge the appointment, but Pete Wisdom waves them off and leaves. Being a military man, Lancaster is not accustomed to the effrontery of Sandman and demands an opportunity to prove his worth. Psylocke offers to hurl a large concrete block at Union Jack with her mind, and is mildly taken aback when he consents. The block, weaponised by Psylocke's telekinesis, hits Union Jack at a significant velocity, but he is unharmed. To demonstrate his strength, the newcomer punches the block and cracks it through. Psylocke is suitably impressed, but Purple Shadow and Sandman scoff into their tea mugs. 

The calm is shattered when an explosion of light fills the room, a glowing tunnel through space sucks the team in and they are sent tumbling though a kaleidoscope of possible realities. When they finally tumble out the far end of the tunnel, our heroes find themselves in an abandoned aircraft hanger, surrounded by seven mysterious figures, figures known as The Champions of the Omniverse! From the fresh 90s styling of Spider-Strike, to the subtitles and spandex of Koga, the Champions are an impressive sight to those that do not know their history of incompetence and failure. The Gregarious Gigawatt introduces himself and his companions, stating that they have pulled Purple Shadow, Union Jack, Psylocke and Sandman from their own reality in order to execute them before they can commit a crime that will endanger the entire Omniverse. 

Our heroes are skeptical that the Champions carry any actual authority, especially as The Arsonist is wearing a trench coat without a shirt, and challenge them as to when they were tried and convicted. Sonic Tsunami's explanation of the Omniversal Claims Circuit Court leaves much to be desired, but the heroes of MI-13 are similarly unable to sway the Champions on their sentence of death. Purple Shadow, hoping that they had not truly been transported to another universe, had been buzzing Pete Wisdom on her radio, to no avail. Having talked like rational adults for far too long, the Champions at last resort to violence, their tried-and-true solution to all life's problems. 

Firenado attempts to activate his fiery powers, but to no avail, giving Sandman the opportunity to take a run at The Arsonist, but the rival hero is as dodgy as he looks. Bragging about how Peter Parker wasn't 'hardcore' enough to be the Spider-Man the world needed, Spider-Strike throws himself at Union Jack, but his six punches merely bounce off the flag-clad hero's tough hide. Knowing that the team must escape before they are overwhelmed, Union Jack grabs Psylocke and throws her towards the nearest door before punching Spider-Strike in the face, Psylocke drifts gracefully down with her Telekinesis and depresses the 'door open' button. Sighing, Gigawatt signals for Koga and Manzilla to help Spider-Strike as he throws a bolt of lightning at Purple Shadow, knocking her off her feet. 

As Psylocke starts to harry Sonic Tsunami, the semi-aquatic Samurai sprays water over Purple Shadow and Union Jack before freezing it, slipping Union Jack up and sending him sliding. Purple Shadow, however, is able to keep her footing and makes for the slowly-opening roller door. Not being known for his sparkling intellect, Manzilla decides the best way to help Spider-Strike is to pick him up and get him to safety, Spider-Strike is not keen on the idea and isn't cooperative, stalling the pair of them. Using his light-bending powers, Koga vanishes from sight, like some kind of ninja, as The Arsonist uses his fire-control powers to boot Firenado to new heights. Sandman, seeing a living tornado of fire lighting up before him, sprays the offending mutant with his gas gun, knocking his foe out for the remainder of the battle. 

Picking himself up, Union Jack finds that no one is nearby, so elects to make a dash for the door himself. Supported in the air by a jet of water, Sonic Tsunami creates another patch of ice under Purple Shadow, this time she loses her footing and slides right to Koga's feet. Gripping an abandoned dumpster with the power of her mind, Psylocke sends it flying at The Arsonist, who dodges, but the projectile carries on to hit Manzilla, barely wounding the beast, but making him mad. Taking to the air, despite his bulk, Manzilla flies straight at Psylocke. Purple Shadow and Koga become locked in a struggle, with neither having much success, thanks to Koga's powers. The Gregarious Gigawatt catches up with the fleeing Sandman, but he can't get a grip on the sandy superhero. An angry Spider-Strike shouts "I'm not done with you yet" as he leaps at Union Jack, his spider-stingers digging deep into the hero's flesh, but seemingly doing little damage. In return, Union Jack batters the foe away and moves closer to freedom. 

Like a hairy zeppelin, Manzilla drops from the skies towards Psylocke, intending to crush her under his bulk, but she narrowly dodges and Manzilla crashes hard into the ground, slipping across the ice left by Sonic Tsunami. It's not a total failure, however, as Psylocke no longer has access to the door control behind the prone Manzilla. Not liking her odds against two super-powered foes, Purple Shadow dodges away, but both Koga and The Arsonist get their licks in, leaving the super-spy staggered, but she still makes it a decent distance towards the door. Seeing that Firenado is still under from his sleep gas, Sandman tries his luck once more against the cluster of Koga, The Arsonist, Spider-Strike and Sonic Tsunami, whilst shouting at his comrades to hurry up and exit the building. Figuring that the direct approach is perhaps the best, Psylocke lifts a dumpster with her telekinesis and rams it into the roller door, but it bounces off with little ill effect to either. 

The Arsonist wakes up from the gas and manages to shake Koga out his coma, but doesn't have any luck with Spider-Strike. Bringing things to a head, Union Jack uses his superhuman strength to rip the roller door apart, yelling for the team to get out while he covers them. An enraged Manzilla is too quick for Psylocke, however, and rakes her viciously with his claws, Psylocke whips debris at him in retaliation, but they only bounce off, so she hovers out the door as fast as she can manage. Seeing their quarry starting to escape, Gigawatt runs at Union Jack, landing a few blows so hard that words describing the impact spontaneously appear in the air. Stunned by the series of uncanny events playing out before her, Purple Shadow reaches the conclusion that she's better off away from the bizarre Champions and quickly follows Psylocke out of the hanger. 

Awaking to find himself in a puddle of water he was once suspended on, Sonic Tsunami reshapes the liquid into another support and creates a patch of ice under Union Jack, the flag-clad hero loses his footing and skids away from Gigawatt. Sandman sprays his sleeping gas once more, before dodging away himself, once again knocking out Sonic Tsunami, The Arsonist, Spider-Strike and Koga, though only for the precious seconds he needs to escape. The last of the MI-13 heroes in the hanger, Union Jack has a cunning plan to escape, but he still can't find his footing on the ice and slides further, this time ending up closer to the door in a happy accident. Both Spider-Strike and Manzilla pounce on Union Jack, but his strange powers absorb the damage and increase his own strength. With this mighty new power, Union Jack puts his most powerful blow into Manzilla's chest, but the beast is unharmed. With a weary sigh, Union Jack slips free and runs after his teammates. 

The streets outside that our heroes confront are like nothing they expected. The cobbles and Victorian drains speak of London, but the architecture is Brutalist, imposing and plastered with posters displaying slogans like "Jaspers is our man!" and "The Only Good Hero is a Dead Hero!". The face of Lord James Jaspers, MP looms over the street on a dozen banners, proclaiming his dominance of Britain. Stunned for a moment, the heroes of MI-13 pause long enough for the Champions of the Omniverse to catch up. Our heroes turn to fight, but the Champions don't get too close, instead explaining that MI-13 have been brought to a world where the government has killed all of the superhumans and that they won't last long in this place. Wishing MI-13 the most sarcastic of luck, the Champions of the Omniverse use their portal to escape the current reality. 

Left stranded in a hostile world, Sandman, Union Jack, Purple Shadow and Psylocke have nowhere to go and no help to call upon. Just as they wonder where they can find refuge, a phalanx of highly militarised police rounds the corner and spots them. Though costumed heroes are now a rare sight in this crooked world, the police are well-drilled and soon demand that our heroes surrender. 

What strange fate awaits our heroes in this new reality? Will they find their way home? Are the Champions of the Omniverse actually good at anything? All these questions and more will be answered next ish!