Thinking Out Loud: Cap/Buck

There is quite an internet following for the "shipping" of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Captain America and Bucky as being in a homosexual relationship. Though "shipping" is not a part of fandom I've been particularly interested in, I must admit I've indulged here and there, and certainly see no harm in it, if that's your bag. Captain America is no stranger to the Gay Community, having been something of a Gay Icon for decades now, with many a Cap to be spotted at Pride celebrations and Mardi Gras. Again, I personally find that great and see no issue with people viewing the character that way, especially as most of Cap's romantic relationships from the comics have been forced and uninteresting. In fact, next to the MCU Steve and Peggy arc, the enduring friendship between Cap and Bucky is probably the best presented relationship for either of those characters. So, if I like the relationship, don't care about shipping and am already pro-queer, why bother writing this article? Well, I do have one niggling issue... 

So, ever wonder why men in pre-World War 2 films are a bit more "touchy-feely" than tends to be considered "ok" for straight guys these days? Well, you can thank the USA for that. To, grossly oversimplify, a huge cultural shift in the wake of WWII, whilst Britain and France became more socially minded (read: Left-Wing) in an atmosphere of having less and rebuilding, the Americans profited greatly from the war and drifted towards the "right". Weird how wealth makes you care less about other people, huh? Anyway, in parts of "the West" homosexuality (specifically male/male relationships) was partially tolerated, so long is it wasn't public and the cops didn't feel like beating your head in that day. Think British Public Schools or "love in foxholes" if you can't imagine it. Because there was no "Gay Panic", men touching each other was pretty normal and ok, with close friends and brothers even kissing and hugging when greeting one another. Please though, don't take my word for it, there are plenty of great articles about the loss of platonic male touch after WWII online, I first came across it in The New Yorker, because that's the kind of pretentious, elitist academic I like to think of myself as. 

So, when people look at Cap and Bucky and read their close friendship and platonic touch as homosexual, or at least homoerotic, in nature, sure, that's not harmful, but it bugs me a little that we miss something. Even in the 2020s, the fact that I hug more than a few of my male friends as a greeting, will even give a kiss on the cheek on occasion and/or advocate for platonic male touch in my mental health work, raises questions; about my sexuality, about why I choose to work with young people and what my motivations are. When I see Cap and Bucky gaze lovingly at each other, hug or even tear up when parting, I see the last vestiges of a dead era asserting itself. I see a great example of non-toxic masculinity demonstrating that touch is not forbidden and need no be sexual. I see a future where telling a close male friend that I love him without having to qualify it or risk social standing. That's why I'm not personally keen on the Cap/Bucky ship, even if it isn't at all harmful, because it obfuscates something I really care about, that I advocate personally and professionally. Please, enjoy shipping if that's your bag, but maybe also tell your best friend you love him, ok?

Superhero Media: Guardians of the Galaxy

Talk about a shock hit, right? None of it really looks like a sure thing; a comedy actor in the lead role, a director who cut his teeth at Troma, a comic so obscure, that even I had to look it up (I was thinking of the Silver Age team) and somehow it came together to be one of the biggest brands in the MCU stable. Guardians of the Galaxy was such a breakout hit that the Thor series took a leaf from James Gunn's book and made the best film in that series so far too. Kidnapped from Earth shortly after the tragic death of his mother, Peter Quill grows to manhood in space, being part of the Ravagers, a crew of space pirates led by Yondu, easily the best Michael Rooker performance ever. Though cosmic coincidence, Quill (calling himself Starlord), Gamora (daughter of Thanos) and Rocket Racoon and Groot (bounty hunters) find themselves thrown together when Quill unknowingly steals an Infinity Stone from an ancient temple, landing the group in prison and in the cross-hairs of Ronan the Accuser. In prison, Drax the Destroyer joins the motley crew and the team comes together. 

I can't recall if I've mentioned it before, but I love the Marvel space stuff, especially things like the Nova Corps, Cosmo the Spacedog, Knowhere and Ronan the Accuser, so the fact that Guardians of the Galaxy is packed with references and cameos delights me no end. Sure, I'm a little disappointed that Ronan is killed at the climax and the Nova Corps aren't rocket-powered superheroes with bucket hats, but letting my fanboy wants override the brilliance of the film would be silly. When Guardians of the Galaxy first came out, I posted a short review on my facebook page for my friends which mentioned just how good the sound editing on the film is. I watch a lot of cinema, and many action films don't mix their sound correctly, with quiet dialogue and loud action, making them hard to watch; Guardians of the Galaxy is beautifully mixed, with language audible during all the big fight scenes and quiet moments kept subtle. Good sound mixing doesn't really get enough credit, so I like to laud it where I see it. 

Many of the best MCU films are ensemble pieces, and Guardians of the Galaxy is no exception; even if Starlord is the protagonist and point-of-view character, it is the cast that makes the whole. It's pretty easy to dismiss Groot, Rocket and Drax as "comic relief", but each has some emotional depth, borne from pain and love; Groot's love for his friend being enough to make him willing to sacrifice himself. All of the heroes in Guardians of the Galaxy start out as either morally ambiguous or outright criminal, so is this the better version of Suicide Squad? I mean, The Dirty Dozen is the best version of that concept, but Guardians of the Galaxy is a pretty good take on it too. Hell, in the next film, Yondu joins the team briefly, racking up a major body-count in the process. Yes, I don't think superheroes should really murder too many bad guys, but these antiheroes are on a journey, where they're trying and will get better over time. The galaxy is a rough place, maybe the Guardians are the heroes we need, not the ones we want.

From the Archives - 8

Some of these miniatures have been in my collection so long, I'm honestly shocked that I have no pictures of them anywhere.

Swamp Thing: Swamp Thing is one of the earliest comics I can remember reading, I'd like to know where my parent's got some copies, but I don't think I understood what they were about until years later. Heroclix. 

Leafeon: The last of the three "Eevees" in the vending machine capsule I picked up years ago. I wish I could find more of these 1/43 Pokemon, they're perfectly scaled for Heroic 28mm. Toy. 

Destiny: One of the Villain Teams I went to work on pretty early was the Brotherhood of Mutants, because I had quite a few left from my days of playing Heroclix. Destiny was a good piece in the early game, so I had a few of her. Heroclix. 
 

Snowflame: Like many, I discovered obscure DC Villain Snowflame, the man powered by cocaine, through the Linkara review of a New Guardians comic. He's become a bit of a meme since then, but a cocaine-powered villain with some of the best insane dialogue in comics is pretty much a must-have. Converted Heroclix. 

Mysterio: Despite being a huge Spider-Man fan, it's taken me a while to get some of his more sinister foes onto the table. That said, Mysterio did see play in one of my first display games, using his powers to keep the heroes flummoxed. Heroclix.

Two-Face: One of my favouite Batman villains, Two-Face was an early paintjob for me, though he's had the odd update here and there. Again, I'm thinking I should run that No Man's Land campaign to get some of these guys on the table more often. 

Superhero Media: Spider-Man (2002)

Is this the best Spider-Man film? Some seem to think so, but I'd have to rate it around fourth or fifth if I'm being honest. Not that Sam Rami's Spider-Man is a bad film, or even overly flawed, just dated and built on a very particular take on the comics. The film that Spider-Man reminds me of most is the 1989 Batman, which I also love, but is probably not the best representation of the character. For example, the Spider-Man costume looks great, as do the stunts and web-slinging, but Spidey is curiously silent during fight scenes, only having one or two quips throughout the film; this bugged me back in 2002 and it still bugs me now, even The Amazing Spider-Man did this better. Also, I'm not a fan of Tobey Maguire, he's a bit too mopey and sad for the role, which I realise is an attempt to recapture the motifs of the Silver Age comics, but fell flat for me, as I grew up on 1980s and 90s Spider-Man. I honestly get the feeling that Rami hadn't read a Spider-Man comic since he was a teenager and had a bit of tunnel vision on this. Again, I really like almost all of Spider-Man, but a very Silver Age film set in the early 2000s has something of a jarring tone. 

Willem Dafoe, Cliff Robertson, Rosemary Harris and J.K. Simmons are all brilliantly cast, Simmons as J Jonah Jameson particularly and we'll get back to that in a moment. With the value of hindsight and the Marvel Cinematic Universe films casting actual teenagers, some of the younger cast members are hilarious, with Flash Thompson looking around 35 in most scenes. Seriously, it's like an old WB sitcom from the '90s where the "head cheerleader" is older than some of the teachers. Green Goblin is a villain performance for the ages, and probably one of the best in superhero film history, right up there with Terrance Stamp as Zod and MCU Thanos; the scenes where Norman Osborn talks himself into murder are brilliant, and there's no effects there, just Dafoe on set. Hell, he's so good, they bought him back for cameos in the next two films, despite the fact he was dead, pretty sure only Jor-El (Brando) and William Striker (X-2) can lay claim to that honour as well. 

And how fucking amazing is Simmons as J Jonah Jameson! He's so good, they brought him back for the MCU. He's so good, he plays the same character in several episodes of The Simpsons, up to demanding pictures of Spider-Man from Homer. Simmons has also reprised the role in cartoons and video games, much to my personal delight, because I never tend to know in advance and the surprise is wonderful. If I've come across a little critical of Spider-Man in this review, I don't mean to dismiss it or your love of it, but I've run into a few people in my time who will tout this film over all others and, sorry, it's not that good. It's good, yes, but the versions that came afterward took what worked and built on it to create something better. Nostalgia is powerful, and I remember my parents surprising me with opening night tickets and loving this film and the entire series, but I'm older now and can appreciate Spider-Man for what works and what doesn't.

The Pitch - Last Son of Krypton

In the last entry, we made an extended explanation of why Superman doesn't kill and is more interesting because of it disguised as a film pitch. This time, we're diving into what Superman "means" in a cultural context and why the character is still important nearly 100 years after his creation. For inspiration, we'll be drawing almost exclusively from the works of Richard Donner; notably Superman The Movie, Superman II and his comic run "Last Son of Krypton". For those familiar with the above, you'll likely understand why we laid in stuff like the Phantom Zone and Lex Luthor last time. 

Last Son of Krypton 
Our action begins with a crystalline alien craft screaming through the atmosphere, punching through clouds and trailing smoke as it begins to crash. Just as the audience expects a landing in a Kansas field, the craft is scooped up in the hands of Superman and the camera zooms out to show the soaring towers of Metropolis. Titles roll. 
Much as I tend to not be a fan of this device, the clock rolls back a little for the first act, to Lois and Clark spending intimate time together in the Fortress of Solitude, talking about their relationship, the importance of maintaining Clark's secret identity and taking a bit of a look around, much as depicted in All Star Superman. The big takeaway point for the audience will be that the pair can't conceive a child naturally, because Human and Kryptonian DNA aren't compatible. This is interrupted by a call for help, probably from Jimmy Olsen's signal watch or maybe the Watchtower if we're feeling like fan service; a spaceship is crashing in Metropolis and Superman has to rush back to meet the start of the film. The pod contains a small child, who, it is quickly discovered, speaks Kryptonese and is superhumanly strong. After a misunderstanding with Checkmate trying to take the child, Superman abducts him and works with Lois and Ma and Pa Kent to forge adoption papers (Batman helps from off-screen) and Chris Kent is the new child to Lois and Clark. 
Before long, the happy spell is broken when it is revealed that Chris Kent escaped the Phantom Zone and is the son of Zod and Ursa! Zod leads the escape of an army of Kryptonian Criminals, trapping Superman in the process and shortly overwhelming the Earth. Superman wanders the Phantom Zone briefly, leaning about the history of the place and the inhabitants before he is rescued by Professor Quintum, who has built his own Phantom Zone viewer.
Free from the Phantom Zone, Superman discovers that many of the other heroes have been captured by Zod's forces, so the only person he can turn to for help is Lex Luthor! Working together, Supes and Luthor fight their way though to Zod's headquarters, rescue the trapped heroes, and reverse the machine keeping the prisoners free of the Phantom Zone. Sadly, Chris Kent is also sucked back to the Phantom Zone, but Luthor is caught thanks to some quick action from Lois. 

What are we doing here? 
So all that above seems like a lot happening all at once, and it really is, but, as with the previous film, we're setting stuff up here and making a statement about Superman. Superman as an agnostic messianic figure may feel "overdone", but it's a core element of his character and can really be explored better than the heavy-handed metaphor of Man of Steel. There is a tragedy underscoring Lois and Clark's relationship, in that they can't have a family, even if that's something Lois has never really wanted, not having the option can be devastating. Chris Kent gives our leads a chance to explore the possibility of family, before having it turned on its head and losing it forever. We're taking Supes and, by extension, the audience, on a journey about loss and identity, and, as the second in the trilogy, Last Son of Krypton should leave the audience grieving and wanting closure. Of course, they'll have to wait for the next film for that. 

Fan Service 
Ok, so I've covered some of the world-building elements and fun little nods to the broader DCU above, but here's the other stuff I'd be dropping in along the way. The post-credit sting (yes, there would be one, people love them) would be the beginning of Lex Luthor's trial, which will be a plot-point in the next film. If we have to cut to the Watchtower in Act 1, someone like Mister Terrific or Metamorpho is going to be passing on the message, no one who's been in a DC film to date. Similarly, we'll mention Batman, but won't see him, as that will be all everyone talks about. Other stuff will get sprinkled in, like Kandor in the Fortress of Solitude, Professor Quintum's super-science and Jimmy Olsen, as those will be important in the final film. 

Next Time: The end of Superman!

Superhero Media: The Venture Bros. - Season 2

IGNORE ME! The world's greatest animated action/adventure/comedy/coming of age programme, The Venture Bros. explodes into its second season with the startling revelation that Hank and Dean are clones, the originals having died repeatedly through misadventure and, once, a gas leak; the silent killer. With the Monarch in prison and a new set of boys cooking in the vats, things look set to return to normal shortly, which means a great time for us, the audience. The second season of The Venture Bros. is bigger, better and bolder, expanding the setting, dipping into the histories of some of the characters and hinting at bigger conspiracies in the world. Now, The Venture Bros. has that same quality as the Marvel Cinematic Universe, in that, in retrospect, it looks like a great deal of the series has been planned ahead of time, but probably wasn't really. 

Throughout the series, several characters that will become major players later on make their first appearance, such as Sergeant Hatred, Action Johnny and Hunter Gathers, as well as getting Doctor Orpheus his own team and bringing in the astoundingly-entertaining Doctor Henry Killinger and his Magic Murder Bag. God, I swear I could just list character names and episode plots to demonstrate how great The Venture Bros. is, even some of the one-liners are classics, like "Brock Sampson, slayer of men, slayer of hench-men" and "I hunt and kill black Draculas, I don't know what the PC term for that is". The pasts of Brock, Doctor Girlfriend and Phantom Limb get visited, though quite a bit still remains a mystery (and will until Season 7 and beyond, for the record), which I like, as James Howlett is way less interesting than Logan, know what I mean? 

Watching back though season 2 of The Venture Bros., I was a little shocked with how brutal the programme can be at times, no I don't mean jokes like cutting open the corpse of Edgar Allan Poe for a Star Wars reference, but some of the violence can be extreme. This is toned down in later seasons, but does serve to remind that The Venture Bros. is the product of a small team; much the same as the animation. For the most part, the animation is greatly improved over the first season, a scene where Brock is throwing knives is brilliant, but there are still glaring mistakes if that kind of thing bothers you. What's crazy is just how much better The Venture Bros. gets, even after this high watermark. By the time you realise how much you care about the characters, you'll be a few seasons in and it's too late, you have to keep watching. Don't wait for my reviews here, go check out more of The Venture Bros. now. IGNORE ME! 

From the Archives - 7

God I have a lot of these. Like, when do I hit "too many"? All I know is I don't have enough, and need to keep painting. 

Allan Quartermain: Not just good for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but also Colonial and time-bending adventures. Ironcald. 

Bucky: Another rebase and repaint for Weird World War II gaming, Bucky got a new hand and Tommy Gun from a plastic British soldier to replace the bent one. Heroclix. 

Eevee: Another of the annoyingly-difficult to find 1/43 Pokemon collectables, Eevee really is that tiny in scale, think terrier or pug. Toy. 

Constrictor: My Serpent Society has deep roots in my hobby, being one of the "villain" teams I started work on to balance out having so many heroes. Still not finished, of course. Heroclix. 

Budew: Just in case Eevee wasn't small enough, here's Budew, only around 3mm tall. The cool thing about the vending machine toys was that they came in evolution trees, so you'd get the basic form and the later stages. Toy. 

Clayface III: It's a pretty gaudy costume for a melting guy who burns people with a touch, but this version of Clayface was hastily touched up for my old Arkham escape game. Heroclix.

Superhero Media: Godzilla 1 - Planet of Monsters

Much as I tend to disagree with the conventional "wisdom" that Netflix Original Anime is terrible (I enjoyed both Baki and Neo Yokio), I really did not enjoy Godzilla 1 - Planet of Monsters. Now, I'll watch just about anything that involves Godzilla, I even watched the 1998 film again for this blog, but man, this was a dull mess and I'm really not looking forward to the next two parts. In the not-to-distant future, humanity has fled Earth, unable to stop the rampage of Godzilla. The remaining humans share a failing generation ship with two alien races who are so poorly designed, I kept forgetting they were aliens unless it was specifically mentioned. I'm not sure if they were alien species from other Godzilla media, but I really hope Planet of Monsters doesn't sully the franchise further. With food running out and mutiny threatened, the decision is made to return to Earth, where twenty thousand years have past, and fight Godzilla. The ecosystem of Earth has adapted to the presence of Godzilla, wither every plant and animal becoming genetically related to the kaiju. 

What follows is a not-at-all satisfying mashup of Starship Troopers and Attack on Titan, where characters I can't muster any interest in throw themselves at Godzilla until they luck out and kill it. Even the design work is uninspired, looking like something from one of those online video games I'm not interested in, and engaging design work is kind of the hallmark of the Godzilla franchise, even in the not terribly good films. Once Godzilla is defeated, it turns out that this wasn't the real Godzilla, the real Godzilla was hibernating and is much bigger and just woke up in time for the next part. Dull. Dull and derivative. But wait! In a "killer" twist, one of the alien species worship Godzilla and had this planned all along somehow? Really? I let that crap slide when Nick Fury pulls it, because there's a great deal of winking and artifice to it, but here it's just dropped in the finale like a dog turd. I really shouldn't try and teach anyone writing technique, only really having blogs and a couple of published stories to my name, but "I planned it all along" is lazy and makes your writing look unplanned. 

Also quite a bit of Planet of Monsters' screen time is dedicated to a long-winded explanation of Godzilla's magnetic field and how that makes him hard to kill. Again, what is the point of this? To fill run time? That Godzilla has a "shield" and the heroes need to work around that is a fine conceit as to how/why they can defeat him with conventional weapons, but such a huge amount of dialogue is committed to belaboring the point, it feels like maybe this was the point of the film? Is the writer of Planet of Monsters a huge Godzilla fan who's been sitting on a pet theory about the King of the Monsters for years and finally had a chance to share it with a big audience? Man, this was a frustrating watch, and I'm not looking forward to the next two parts; "luckily" for me, I recently realised I'm currently watching/reading/playing 14 pieces of media for these articles and really want to cut that down, so it'll be a while before I'm back to this particular version of Godzilla.

Zuupah Dupah Supa Sayians - Part 5

Well, I'm back playing FuZion format and, for some reason, I've been building decks like a man possessed by an evil alien intelligence named Baby. After pulling a few more cheap packs from work, I had quite a few good cards in styles other than Sayian and Black, not to mention my boxes of older cards. First up, I disassembled all of my Retro decks, throwing out the proxies that were now illegal and getting a better idea of what Score cards I had. Incidentally, I now have quite a few card slips spare, which is nice, as the good ones are expensive. I had a good idea for a Namekian Piccolo deck and maybe something funny with Doctor Wheelo, so I stared with Gohan's Dad, which focused on regenerating damage as fast as possible and also pulling out Namek Dragon Balls for the win. Thanks to having three sets of Namek Dragon Balls to choose from (Score, Score Alt Balls and Pannini), there is some brutal synergy to be had with the right mix, including being able to shut down your opponent's Mastery and Sensei. I was pretty confident with the build going into my first game with the deck I was calling "Gohan's Dad's Green Balls". 

There's a fun naming convention to be had in card games that doesn't seem to get into other tabletop hobbies much. For example, there is a type of Magic the Gathering deck where one powerful creature is repeatedly upgraded with equipment, which is referred to as a "Voltron" deck, which is fun. I may have mentioned last time that I call my Garlic Jr deck a "Triple Threat", as it can with through all three victory conditions in the game. One of my regular opponent's decks is known as either "Broku" or "Squadku", where Goku is the Main Personality [MP], but has a team of allies to defend from attacks and deal extra damage. Naturally, I come up with silly names for all my decks, like my latest effort "Doctor Wheelo's Infinite Bullshit", which is a Black deck which makes my opponent discard all of their cards, but doesn't throw an attack ever. It's a lot of fun, and even though I thought it probably wouldn't work, it seems to run well, actually performing better than my Piccolo deck, which I thought was more likely to do well. Having the huge depth of cards from several versions of the game to choose from means that just about any deck can work now, even more obscure characters like Doctor Wheelo. 

Hell, my regular opponent, Ryan, is looking at several of the Celestial Games characters, like Tapkar and Caterpy, who I bet even hardcore DBZ fans don't remember the names of. Despite taking a big look at my old decks, I still haven't had a chance to fix up my Trunks deck, but did cut my Vegito deck down to run in FuZion format, despite the flack such decks are copping for being "too good" in the online groups, but Ryan is building a Krillin deck and, unlike the internet memes, Krillin is pretty gangbuster and I need something to compete. Starting tomorrow (as in 15/03/2020, backlog and all that) Ryan and I are going to running more of our friends through FuZion using our decks, hoping to temp a couple away from Magic Commander for a game or two. I think the insular nature of FuZion prevents a player base from growing, so I'm going to try and spread it around a little, maybe grow the local base, wish me luck.

Superhero Media: Supernatural - Season 3

If you're only looking at watching some Supernatural for gaming inspiration, Season 3 is a great place to jump on, even with little-to-no prior knowledge of what's happening. If you go that route, Sam and Dean are brothers, they hunt monsters, their dad is dead and Dean has a year to live after making a deal with a Crossroads Demon. Also, Season 2 ended with a literal gate to Hell being opened, so there's that too. The very first episode has the brothers and Bobby battling none other than the Seven Deadly Sins, which seems straight out of a "New 52" Hellblazer comic, and I fucking love it. I'm shopping for Heroclix Deadly Sins in the other tab right now, but I'm not loving my options, I'm wanting something more like the SHAZAM film. Anyway, Season 3 of Supernatural introduces more recurring characters, has a narrative through-line and starts to work in some more jokes, so is easily the best run around so far. Also, the heroes lose in the end, Dean is dragged to hell and the day is lost; few programmes have the balls to close a season like that. 

New characters include occasional allies like Ruby, a former witch turned demon who wants Sam to lead the army of evil, antagonists like Lilith, leader of another evil faction and Bela, a woman who deals in supernatural artifacts on the black market. Not only do these new characters add some much-needed gender balance to Supernatural, but having more recurring cast members makes the world feel more "real". Some other guest stars come back, like Luther, who ends his arc on a vampire-powered suicide run, and the Ghost Facers, who defeat a serial-killing ghost with the power of homosexual love. Season 3 is probably the model for Supernatural going forward, at least in terms of tone, as there is more comedy and the end of the world seems to always be around the corner. I like this trend, as I'm inclined towards taking all of this less seriously than most, especially once demons, diabolical deals and destiny start making regular appearances in the script. 

The recurrence of the Hell-hounds chasing people who have reached the end of their contracts with the Crossroads Demons makes for a great motif, with the sound department having a field day sneaking barks and growls into the background whenever Dean contemplates his fate. Again, I really love that all of the Brothers' desperate efforts don't pay off and Dean gets dragged to hell, making for a chilling ending and a great cliffhanger leading into Season 4. I'll admit most of Seasons 1 and 2 were closer to a nostalgia trip for me, I actually got a lot out of Season 3, and now am more keen for the next season and the adventures that await. As mentioned above, there is plenty of great gaming fodder in this season of Supernatural, from the Deadly Sins and Hell-hounds to television ghost hunters and black market cursed object dealers; many of these could walk straight into your games with minimal adjustment. Aside from that, Supernatural is still a great watch if you're into that "WB" style action/soap/sci-fi hybrid.

Melee of Champions - 5

Got lucky and picked up a few more figs for this side-project. Really need to get on it as I may be running a game in a couple of weeks. 

The Immortal Iron Fist and Hawkeye, both heroes I really wanted from this range. Disney Infinity. 

Nova (Sam Alexander) and The Lone Ranger, happy to have him without the terrible Johnny Depp Tonto. Disney Infinity. 

Superhero Media: Robocop (1987)

What a bloody classic! Even more than thirty years later, no other attempt at the same concept has come even close, not even the official sequels or the remake. In the decaying and crime-ridden Detroit of the 1990s, the Metropolitan Police have been privatised by Omni Consumer Products, a corporation more interested in securing massive military contracts than fighting crime. Officer Murphy is one of many unlucky officers transferred to the worst precinct in the city, in the hope he will be killed and be able to be used by OCP for a secret project. It's not long before Murphy is tangling with Clarence Boddicker (a brilliant Kurtwood Smith, of all actors), the most dangerous man in Old Detroit, and soon comes off second-best to several shotguns. Murphy's brain survives, after a fashion, and OCP combines a lifetime of police experience and the latest in cutting-edge robotics to create the ultimate crime-fighting machine; Robocop. 

It's pretty easy to dismiss Robocop if you've never seen it, it looks like a dumb film, and the name doesn't help. If you know your film history however, one name attached to the film will get you excited, the film's director, Paul Verhoeven. Verhoeven is a master of satire, with a particular eye for American Corporate Fascism, and Robocop is a masterwork of both. From the advertisements placed throughout the film, the juxtaposition of the working class and corporate elite and stupid ideas like gentrification fixing poverty, that, somehow, we're still living with today. Seriously, Regan and Thatcher really fucked the world up, and we're still paying for it. Stop voting conservative already. Anyway, operating outside of his programming, Robocop is soon hunting down every member of Clarence's gang that killed him, and the evil executives at OCP are looking to destroy him and get their other project ED-209 in the field so that they can sell it to the military. This all culminates in a bloodbath in an abandoned chemical factory and a brilliant villain death in the OCP boardroom. 

I've seen some recent criticism that Robocop is a little too forgiving of American Corpocracy and Police Militarisation, but I've always felt that that was simply another layer of Verhoeven's satire, getting the American audience to cheer for their own oppressors; it's certainly Verhoeven's style. That said, Robocop has become something of a cult hero in Detroit, with attempts to put up a statue of him in the poorer areas, but I guess if the only cultural contributions the city has made post-Motown are Robocop and Eminem, you're options are limited. I hope by the time this article gets through the backlog, I finally have a decent 28mm Robocop for Ultimate Alliance games, but, just in case, if you know of a good one, even a 3D print, please let me know. I do have a converted Star Wars miniature, but he's a tad on the small side, especially next to some of my repainted Heroclix. If you, somehow, have never seen the original Robocop, check it out as soon as you can, either the original or the Special Edition, the story doesn't change that much, it's mostly differing levels of violence.

Ultimate Alliance: China - Part II

A longstanding colony of the waning British Empire, Hong Kong often found itself between two worlds, culturally, politically and also in terms of its people. MI-13 had been concerned with the mystical aspects of the Chinese mainland, as well as the growing number of giant monster, or "Kaiju", attacks on nearby Japan, but lacked the resources to implement any permanent defense network against such threats. When the Japanese started to fight back against their own Kaiju with the Super Sentai Teams and Ultraman Project, Hong Kong science and military personnel began work on their own version, drawing as much from the American "Six Million Dollar Man" as much as the Japanese programmes and code-named Project: Inframan. Due to budget constraints, the project never came to fruition and by 1974 was shelved and all-but-forgotten. In 1975, however, Hong Kong was rocked by the attack of Dragon Mother and her Monster Legion and Science Officer Rayma became Inframan to defend his homeland.

After the Monster Legion was defeated, it was found, as suspected, that Rayma could not be separated from the Inframan parts, and though the stoic young man took it in stride, the loss of his old life was a grave one. For several years, Inframan was experimentally deployed at part of the Hong Kong Police, but as the machine parts of his body wore down, they became less controllable and several incidents of property damage and injury of suspects resulted in the trial being terminated permanently. With nothing to do and no reliable way to be repaired back to full function, Rayma reluctantly agreed to be "switched off" for the foreseeable future, until such a time as Inframan was needed or he could be returned to being human. Decades past, and Inframan was eventually forgotten, left to collect dust in a government laboratory and often considered a myth or hoax by those who had never seen him in action. 

When the 2019 Hong Kong Riots started, Black Bat, aka Cassandra Cain, former Batgirl and member of Batman Incorporated, immediately took a stand against the totalitarian actions of the government, working from the shadows to aid the protesters and harry police. As the situation worsened and Chinese troops massed on the border, Black Bat reached out to the broader superhero community, but received no aid from her peers wanting to avoid aggravating the Great Ten and creating an international incident. However, Black Bat had one vital ally that, according to most of the world, didn't exist; Oracle. With almost unparalleled hacking skill, Oracle dove into the secret history of Hong Kong's superhumans, quickly finding the story of Inframan and the resting place of Science Officer Rayma, still in suspended animation and long forgotten.

Breaking in to a secure, but abandoned, facility was no struggle for the daughter of Cain and former Batgirl, but even after following Oracle's instructions to reactivate Inframan, the real work had only just begun. Having been "sleeping" since the 1980s, Rayma was disorientated and unwilling to believe that it was now well into the 21st century, let alone that Hong Kong was Chinese territory and troops had started moving in. When Rayma saw the riots for himself, and the accompanying youth movement for Independence and a free Hong Kong, he quickly made up his mind on what to do with his new lease on life. Out of date, somewhat broken and lost in a world not his own, Super Inframan had returned to defend Hong Kong once more.

Superhero Media: Dragon Ball Z The World's Strongest

Ok, so I don't really follow all of the big developments across the DBZ fandom, so I never realised that DBZ Kai had a partially different voice cast until I watched my new DVD of The World's Strongest from the Dragon Ball Z Remastered Movie Collection. I don't want to be one of those fans who says that the version they knew first is better, but the original English voices for Doctors Wheelo and Kochin were far more memorable than the new ones, which are just kind of bland and generically sinister. I was genuinely disappointed to find this, as The World's Strongest is one of my favourite DBZ films, and some of the first DBZ I really saw, renting the DVD when I couldn't see the episodes of a morning like my friends. As such, I had quite an odd idea of what DBZ was for a little while, but that's a story for another time. The brilliant, yet deranged, Doctor Wheelo almost died, but his brain was preserved and now he seeks the world's strongest fighter to be his new body. His information being out of date, however, he kidnaps Master Roshi and Goku and friends have to come to the rescue. 

Doctors Wheelo and Kochin live in a wonderfully Giger-esque fortress in the mountain wilderness, filled with impossibly-large open spaces, traps, towers and even mist somehow. For the terrain fanatics that read my blog, The World's Strongest may well be worth checking out for the aesthetic alone; I certainly wish I had the skills with plaster and resin to pull something like this off on the table top. The World's Strongest, much like Tree of Might and Lord Slug, the next two films in the series, are most definitely not in the DBZ canon, as Goku has access to the Kaio Ken and Spirit Bomb techniques, but can't turn Super Sayian as yet. This "extra-narrative" nature means that many fans tend to pass the movies over or have an outright hostility towards them, which I find more puzzling than anything. Yes, I'm one of those weird DBZ fans who enjoys the filler and thinks Goku is boring, but I can't understand why having more DBZ content can be a bad thing, especially when the lack of restrictions allow the stories and fights to do things the series can't; for example, having the gang fight a brain in a robot body in the ruins of a cyclopean fortress. 

As I've mentioned before, Doctor Wheelo is one of my favourite DBZ villains. Partially because "brain is a jar" is always a great trope, but also because cyborgs are great villains. Yeah, forget Lapis, Lazuli and Doctor Gero, the original cyborg monsters to battle Goku are Kishime, Ebifurya and Doctor Wheelo. Probably worth mentioning that there's a musical number in The World's Strongest, sung by Gohan about Piccolo, it's pretty strange and breaks the tone, but is all of two minutes long if you're really that put off by it. Man, I need to start making these articles on the DBZ movies a bit shorter, I always run out of stuff to say other than "Hey Jasco, where's that DBZ minis game you promised?", you bet I'd buy a Wheelo as soon as I could, he's just such a cool looking bad guy. Well, until the glorious day I can get more 28mm Dragon Ball characters, I guess I'll just dream about teaming Doctor Wheelo up with The Brain and Helsingard for some kind of villainous "brains trust".

From the Archives - 6

Man, I have a lot of these things, and I really need to start making more stat cards so that I can get more Ultimate Alliance games going.

Carnage: Not a character I like all that much, but hastily painted up for a game set in Arkham Aslyum with plenty of Tamyia Clear Red. Heroclix. 

Scarface and Ventriloquist: Another one for the Arkham game, I went through a period of collecting every Batman villain I could get my hands on for some reason I don't remember. Heroclix. 

Arnim Zola: More for Weird World War II games, this classic Nazi villain is really not a great model, so a friend made me a better one I'm yet to paint. Heroclix. 
 

Mad Hatter: I think I must have been preparing for a "No Man's Land" game at some point? Using the Judge Dredd Miniatures Game (Mongoose) rules? I should get back to that idea. This mini is a good source of cheap 28mm top hats if you find yourself needing them. Heroclix. 

Black Mask: Ok, yes, I have to run that "No Man's Land" campaign at some point, given how many of these things I have. Heroclix. 

Killer Shrike: This one I know I did as part of my old 40k project as one of my generic "Daemons". Back in the day, the opponent of a 40K Daemonhunters army could take a unit of daemons, so I was planning to furnish a group of "Tech Villains", ala Secret War. Heroclix. 

Superhero Media: Captain America - The Winter Solider

I was honestly a little disappointed with Wave 2, but then I hit The Winter Soldier. This is probably the first MCU film that I tend to say is a damn good film on it's own, even taken as a stand-alone, it's just that well constructed. After the events of The Avengers, Steve Rogers is working for SHIELD, taking down international criminals like Batroc the Leaper and leading a strike-team that includes Black Widow and Crossbones. When I explained to my girlfriend who Batroc was, she didn't believe me until I pulled out my Marvel Universe Encyclopedia and showed her that his main skill was leaping. Good stuff. Things start to unravel, however, when Nick Fury is killed and framed for war profiteering, only Cap can clear his name, but who can he trust if SHIELD is compromised? And who is the Winter Soldier? People who don't like the MCU films often make the criticism that all of them are "the same", meaning that they follow a similar formula, which is somewhat fair, but I like to remind them that as early as Wave 2 there was a conspiracy spy-hunt film about global surveillance and American hegemony. Fancy that. 

The Captain America series of MCU films is really the gold standard as far as I'm concerned; the characters, setting and tone work well, with the added Avengers films, Cap's journey is satisfying and concludes beautifully. The Winter Soldier is tense, fast-paced and shockingly grounded for a film in which Captain America takes on Hydra with his best pal Falcon. There's even a version of Arnim Zola on a computer screen, sure he's there to provide exposition, but the sequence is fun and he gets to revisit his "I am Swiss" line from The First Avenger. Initially, I felt that the return of Bucky Barnes as the Winter Solider was a bit quick, but it really works with Civil War and Infinity War, so it's hard to fault here, especially as Sebastian Stan does a great job of showing emotion through movement, with little dialogue. The costume looks great too, especially the bionic arm, which clearly a lot of though has been put into. Much as I tend to decry the "grim and gritty" approach, the more grounded Captain America of The Winter Soldier works well, and allows the more fantastic elements, like Falcon and Zola, to sit where they should and fit into the fabric of the world presented. 

Perhaps best of all, The Winter Soldier also works as a character piece, with Cap making his journey into the modern world (the notepad scene is inspired), trying to rebuild his life and even considering dating again, though he's a bit too old fashioned for the analyst with the septum piercing. Black Widow gets some personality, revealing that she reflects back on people, rather than having a genuine personality, which makes sense, as Tony Stark sees her as a sex object, Nick Fury sees her as an asset, Clint Barton sees her as a partner and Cap can't get a read on her. This too, gets paid off in later films, where Natasha finding her identity is pretty much her through-line, culminating in Endgame. Man, what a great series. Now I want to skip straight to Civil War. I'll leave this one off early to go watch more films. Enjoy your night and watch more Captain America.

Superhero Movies that Never Happened

Making films is never a sure thing, no matter how big the studio and property, and plenty of great ideas never make it to screens. Superheroes, particularly Superman, have had more of this than most and some of the abandoned projects have become legendary in their own rights. Should I ever find access to parallel worlds, I will make sure to find realities where these films were made and review them here, especially if they're really good or really bad. Anyway, here's a quick look at some of these "Could Have Beens", you can find more online if you're particularly keen on any of them.

Superman Lives

Fun fact, Nic Gage played Superman in Teen Titans GO! To The Movies because of how notorious this project became when Kevin Smith started doing comedy lectures. I personally think it would have been worth watching, even to see the iconoclastic Cage take on a very 1990s Man of Steel. With a Kevin Smith script it would have at least been unique, even with the infamous "giant robot spider" sequence. Just how connected Superman Lives would have been to the Donner films is debatable, but I imagine we'd be referring to it as a "soft reboot" if the film had existed. For the record, I like Cage as an actor, despite the many poor films he has been in, and I'd watch him play Superman quite happily. Maybe Earth 2 somewhere down the line?

 
Batman Meets Godzilla

Adam West, Burt Ward and Godzilla? Yes this almost happened, and the fact that it didn't is one of the greatest tragedies in the history of superhero film-making. Here's how this madness happens; it's the 1970s, Batman is doing killer numbers in syndication and Godzilla is enjoying his second boom, so some Japanese film executives reach out to their American counterparts and try to get a joint venture going. I have no doubt that the finished product would have been extremely silly and played for comedy, but I'm also certain it would have been amazing. The intended plot was to have Batman and Robin traveling to Japan to help the authorities deal with yet another Godzilla attack and at least one of their villains would have been involved. Sadly, the whole project was deemed too expensive and it never happened, but I'll live the rest of my life dreaming of what could have been.

Shin Godzilla Vs Evangelion 

As the director of both Shin Godzilla and Neon Genesis Evangelion, Hideaki Anno is clearly slightly mad in the best way, so, of course, he's trying to get a crossover off the ground. Now, it's probably unfair for me to say that this idea won't get made now in 2020, but I'm taking a guess that no studio is going to want to take on something simultaneously so expensive and so weird. If we're lucky we'll get a Manga and maybe a Netflix Anime in a few years time. Still, body-horror Kaiju meets mother-issues mecha sounds like a very interesting film, if not a particularly popular one.


Superman Returns Sequel

As I've discussed previously, I really like Superman Returns and would rate it as one of the best Superman films to date. Sadly, no one else really enjoyed it and the sequel was scrapped during pre-production. And it would have been great too! Superman fights Brainiac, and has to fight his son, who has gone rogue and is destroying the planet with his emerging superpowers. It's about loss, family and responsibility, with Superman having to put the safety and needs of others above those of himself and his loved ones. Yes, it turns out Bryan Singer is a garbage person, but I would have loved this film and be defending it online against people who probably didn't get what it was going for. Hey, at least we could have a Superman villain in a film who wasn't Luthor or Zod.

Superhero Media: Irredeemable

Written by Mark Waid, famous for epic stories in the DC Universe, Irredeemable does one of the better jobs of answering that eternal fanboy question, "what if Superman turned evil?" Rather than a single inciting incident, like in Injustice, the "Superman" of Irredeemable, Pultonian, is worn down over years to the point where he breaks. The other superheroes of the world, The Paradigm, struggle to save as many people as they can from the rampage of a mad god, as they're picked off one by one. The first few trades of Irredeemable performed really well, even garnering Esiner Award nominations, but as it continued, the fans dropped away and it finished with something of a whimper. Rather than continuing on as a kind of superhero "survival-horror", Irredeemable soon morphs into a Kirby-esque space opera before finally becoming a story of hope in the face of the inevitable. Whilst I can see why many fans drifted away with the tone change, I quite like that a thoroughly "Iron Age" concept like "Evil Superman", ends with a Silver Age message of hope and saving the planet one last time. 

 

Yes, Irredeemable is not the great "Evil Superman" story that people are, for some reason, still demanding, but is more a collection of ideas about superheroes that Mark Waid has had over the years and needed to get down somewhere. Probably the most recurring concept, which may be the closest thing to a thesis of the story, is "it only takes one mistake to condemn you", which not only happens to Plutonian, but other characters, like Qubit and Survivor. The answer seems to be that it is the degree of mistake and what one does to makes amends that matters, but Plutonian isn't human and has grown up being abused and feared, so he reacts badly and makes the situation worse and worse. I need to mention that there is a companion series to Irredeemable, entitled Incorruptible, which follows one of Plutonian's villains, Max Damage on his journey to becoming a hero. The two series set up a confrontation between Plutonian and Damage that never happens, the actual finale being more esoteric and less violent. If you really wanted something closer to Injustice, Irredeemable is not what you're looking for. 

What I like best about Irredeemable are the characters, which, in a pleasant twist, aren't merely takes on existing heroes in the DC and Marvel pantheons. Gilgamos is an immortal, winged man with superhuman strength and endurance, married to Bette Noir, a gunslinger with magical ammunition. Survivor wields energy and Volt controls electricity, fairly generic, but not lifted whole-cloth from anywhere. Kaidan is a Japanese woman who uses her family's curse to summon ghostly warriors to fight on her behalf and Qubit can make any machine into any other machine, using "teleportals" most often and being a pacifist for most of the piece. It is the characters that tend to draw me back to Irredeemable, rather than the narrative, though I'm more forgiving of the flaws than most, Qubit and Modeus (the Lex Luthor stand-in) especially, as their journey of needing to work together, but doing so for their own reasons, is probably one of the more interesting "Good Guy/Bad Guy teaming-up through necessity" stories I've read in comics. I feel Irredeemable is better than many give it credit for, but I do think it's imperfect and not something everyone will enjoy.

From the Archives - 5

Due to the fact I started painting superheroes long before I started this blog, some of the stuff I painted has never been featured here, which is something I'm looking to remedy as I sort out my collection at bit better.

Liz Sherman: When painting my BPRD stuff, I went for stark shading and highlights, to evoke the art style of Mike Mignola, and I like the results even if it doesn't precisely match my other heroes and villains. Heroclix. 

V: One of my very first superhero conversions, V was done for my first big display game, so that I had four "Indy" characters for players to choose from. I'm pretty happy with this one, but one day I'd like a mini more like the film version. Converted Carnivale. 

The Thin Man: Man, I used Weird World War II gaming as an excuse to paint lots of heroes back in the day. I don't think Thin Man ever got used in a game, but turned up on a few display tables. Heroclix. 
 

Baron Blood: Another Weird Wars piece, I decided to give him a red scheme rather than purple as it was a little more pulpy. Don't let the pictures online scare you off Baron Blood, the mini is actually pretty nice with a good sense of movement. Heroclix. 

Black Manta: This version of Manta comes with a trident that was pretty much always bent, so I replaced it with some Dark Eldar blades to evoke his funny sword/knife thing from the comics. I need to do more games with this guy, he's a fun character. Heroclix. 

Deathstroke: I used to not be happy with the more pastel shades on this figure, but as I see more and more dark and dirty versions of Slade for Batman Miniatures Game, I'm glad he has a more Silver Age finish. Heroclix.