Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Superhero Media: Zoom - Acadamy for Superheroes

This may have been what I was thinking of when I remembered that Sky High may have been terrible; it's not, this is the really bad one. Not as bad as Super Buddies, but close. For starters, has Tim Allen actually ever been in anything good, or good in anything? The Toy Story films perhaps, but one feels as though the deciding factor there was not having to watch his acting. In Zoom, he is utterly unconvincing as a retired and bitter hero, especially when he turns up in costume and it's clearly a much taller and slimmer actor. Also, Kate Mara seems to be a curse for any Superhero production, having been in this and Fan4stic, and no, she's no good in this either. Bet she's wishing they hadn't killed her off in House of Cards

Also Rip Torn is in this film, pretty much just being Rip Torn in any given scene, which may be the saving of the film from being Super Buddies bad. Also Chevy Chase and Courtney Cox are in the film. Pretty much just in the film. The "plot" involves a member of the previous team who seem to have been active in the late 1980s and/or early 1990s, even though Tim Allen is way older than would make sense with that timeline, is coming back from another dimension (I think?) after being exiled there by the speed force? The pseudoscience is pretty bad, even for comics, and Zoom (Allen) is a cut-price Flash with the weakest PTSD I've ever seen in fiction, despite the fact he saw all of his friends killed by his brother and is mildly annoyed at Rip Torn because of it.

The villain turns up, uses some bad CGI to attack the new team but turns good after some hugs or something. This is really bad, almost Super Buddies bad, but is saved by not being racist and sexist (to the same degree). None of the characters are original or even interesting takes on well-worn tropes, the acting is terrible and the CGI is even bad for the era. Smash Mouth does the entire soundtrack, which sounds good until you realise that they were well and truly past their good work by then. Give this one a miss. 

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