Superhero Media: Live Free or Die Hard

Anyone who is still doubting that John McClane is a superhero need look no further than Live Free or Die Hard, titled Die Hard 4.0 in some markets because evidently Australians aren't expected to know what the 4th of July is? Although Live Free or Die Hard isn't as good as any of the previous films, there is a lot that I quite like, including the fact that John is the same rank in the NYPD despite it having been 12 years since we last saw him. That's right, McClane's life has not gotten better, though he at least seems to have cut back on the booze, though he's clearly estranged from Holly and his daughter Lucy is doing her best to keep away from him. On the way home from stalking Lucy one night, McClane is called in to pick up a local hacker, Matt Farrell and drag him to DC on behalf of the FBI. When it's discovered that Thomas Gabriel and his crew have hacked the entire American security network, McClane is caught up in another massive event. 

Ok, so people I know tend to complain along the lines of how hacking doesn't work anything like it does in Live Free or Die Hard, but please shut the fuck up about how computers don't work the way they do in films. I have degrees in Literature, Film and Psychology, so every time there's so much as awkward writing or stilted dialogue, I notice it, and that's much worse than having to put up with the computer thing, believe me. What I find most interesting about Live Free or Die Hard is that it can be read as a conservative backlash against post-Matrix action cinema, as there are moments like McClane defeating both Maggie Q and Cyril Raffaelli with his flailing punches despite their superior Martial Arts and Parkour techniques, and McClane's lack of understanding of modern computing turns out to be a boon at times. As Bruce Willis himself is an avowed Republican, this isn't too shocking, but as discussed previously, Die Harder was critical of the Regan-era Iran-Contra scandal, so its an interesting contrast. 

Getting back to the point, I think we can all agree that McClane has some level of super powers at this point, right? Regeneration seems obvious, with the amount of damage he takes and manages to keep going, I think that's been pretty plain since Die Harder, but we have to talk about Probability Manipulation too. Like, McClane has to be some kind of luck-controller at this point, given how many bullets he dodges, that he can "kill a helicopter with a police car" and defeat the villain by shooting himself. There are films in which even Wolverine doesn't get away with all that shit, let alone a supposedly human police officer who can't keep his family together. Before I run out of space, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is brilliant as Lucy, especially when she starts taunting Gabriel about how her dad will kill them all, if they do make the mistake of doing more Die Hard films, maybe make her the protagonist? Hell, at least get her to do a "his name is Death" monologue like in True Grit or Waterworld. Embrace the impossibility of John McClane and just do a superhero film already.